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Thread: Please tell me I'm not the only one?!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    175

    Default Please tell me I'm not the only one?!

    I have a beautiful 14 month old, she's never been a good sleeper, I think the most sleep I've ever gotten in one sleep pattern was 4 hours.

    Lately I've been getting only 2 if I'm lucky.
    She wakes up and sits up straight away and then cries and cries until I give her boob, sometimes she'll go straight back down, others she'll move around for about 30 minutes and then sit up crying again until she gets boob.

    I feed her once during the day - nap time at 1.30.

    I co-sleep with her, also I'm a solo Mum as of 4 weeks ago so I can't get anyone else to help me.

    How can I wean my little bean - I know that her molars are coming through - but this has been happening for about 2 months now and I'm beyond exhausted, I"m also staying with my Mum ( she wont help) and she just complains to me in the morning about the noise and that I'm not doing something right.

    I'm forgetting things, really impatient but pretty impressed with myself at how calm I am with her waking up 8 -12 hours a night.

    Any thoughts?

    I've given her : A bottle before bed - whole milk 60z.
    Baby Advil an hour before bed.

    I took her to the Dr to rule out illness (she did just have a terrible cold, but that's gone and nothing has changed)

    If I put her in her crib she screams blue murder!
    I've tried letting her cry it out but she cried it out from 12 - 5 .. seriously, she didn't give it up - I didn't give in though as I was so tired - but never again.

    Thoughts?!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    West Salem, Ohio
    Posts
    169

    Default Re: Please tell me I'm not the only one?!

    My little one is almost 17 months, lately she has been so fussy before bed when she used to just latch on and pass out. So I started rocking her and picked a slowish song I put on repeat. She goes to sleep a bit better most of the time now. Maybe you could try music and rocking her.

    You say she sits up and you nurse her... Do you nurse her sitting up? if so you could try laying down with her to nurse. There are some nights where I think I hung out all night. Its just easier to cuddle up with her and leave my shirt loose so she isn't really waking up to latch on, she just nuzzles around and falls back asleep...

    Hopefully things get better sooner than later
    Mother of 3 beautiful girls, and expecting baby number 4 in July

    Elisabeth ~ 9/25/07
    Eliana ~ 1/08/09
    Elivia ~ 1/22/12 ~ EBF

    with all 3 still

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    175

    Default Re: Please tell me I'm not the only one?!

    I just realised that I posted a post not that long ago but I'm glad i posted this one also - so just in case it sounds like Im repeating myself!

    I lay her back down and feed her, only issue is is that i can't sleep with her attached to me - it ends up making me restless and the bed we are currently sleeping on is a single bed so I make sure I'm right on the edge after she's fallen back asleep as I still worry about accidently putting the blankets on her or my pillow!!!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Northern Virginia
    Posts
    459

    Default Re: Please tell me I'm not the only one?!

    Actually, if you can stick it out, our LO has been better overall (not every night) since about 18 months. I can't say it will be the same for you, but you just may have some respite coming. She went through a pretty tough phase from about 12 months until 18 months. Sometimes ibuprofen would seem to help, but she just seemed quite restless most nights. It was sometimes every hour or more she was waking up. And then she'd toss around for a good 1-2 hours before going back to sleep.

    The molars are not all in so I know I have more coming -- for all I know it could be much worse! If you really want to wean...that's not my area yet! Just wanted to let you know you just may have some improvement.
    Mom to my sweet little "Pooper," born 10/12/11, and married to heavy metal husband. Working more than full-time, making healthy vegetarian meals for family, and trying to keep up with exercise routine.

    with #2, due mid-June. Will I ever sleep again?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    240

    Default Re: Please tell me I'm not the only one?!

    I"m also staying with my Mum ( she wont help) and she just complains to me in the morning about the noise and that I'm not doing something right.


    I am so sorry that you are having such a difficult time. I am sure it is exremly stressful to know that in the morning your mum will be there to critizise how you handled it at night.

    I can understand why you see weaning as a way out but honestly I don't believe it will help you, she likely will still wake at tnight and without nursing you have one less helping tool in getting her back to sleep.

    Making bottles at night is the pits, been there done that with most of the time no one at all to help or if my husband was there he was highly critical of my night managment or lack thereof .
    I did not find bottles any help however, but i did bottles with formula and breastfeeding parallel because of the pressure.

    I also did something that was maybe a bit nuts and it depends where you live. I used to go for walks with him at night, i put him in his wrap ( a babylonia wrap, easy to use once you get the hang of it and still possible at 14 months at least I used to do it until about 18 months but then I am tall and strong) and took walks in well lit areas of the city I live in, or rode public transport (where I live it runs at night, even early morning. But then he fell asleep and once we were home again we slept well, but we also had no pressure or reason to get up mornings and this way i avoided my husbands comments. So this may not work for you but I thgouhgt maybe it is worth sharing because perhaps it is an idea to try.

    And you are definitley not the only ine. It is hard. But as PP said, it also does get better. In the hard times I console myself with the thgouht one day at a time. it is silly but helps.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Salt Lake City
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    86

    Default Re: Please tell me I'm not the only one?!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mammi View Post
    I can understand why you see weaning as a way out but honestly I don't believe it will help you, she likely will still wake at tnight and without nursing you have one less helping tool in getting her back to sleep.
    I totally agree. Night-nursing is the most valuable tool!

    You say you worry about covering her with blankets or pillows because you are on a small bed. I'd say that this is something you don't have to fret too much about. Breastfed babies tend to sleep at chest level, away from pillows and close to Mom. This means that she can easily wake you up if she is uncomfortable. I used to worry about sleeping with my babies, but even at only three months old they are able to wake me up if there is ever a problem. Maybe this can put your mind at ease so you can sleep while she sucks?

    It sounds, too, like you're going through a pretty big life change. I'd be willing to bet that that's why she is waking up so often. Once she realizes that you are still here and willing and able to give her what she wants and needs, she'll probably settle back down. That's another reason why I recommend not weaning or changing sleep routines. Letting her CIO one night may have only set you back, since she is already experiencing so much change.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
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    19

    Default Re: Please tell me I'm not the only one?!

    doubble post
    Last edited by @llli*jagoda; June 14th, 2013 at 03:21 AM. Reason: doubble post

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    19

    Default Re: Please tell me I'm not the only one?!

    Hi!

    No, you are not alone

    My girls are 28 months and they sleep their 4-6 hours in one go, but since then they wake up about every 1-2 hours and this means i never sleep in a pice longer than 2 hours. It has never been better than now. At 18 months and earlier we has phases when they were waking up in a way that i got 20 min streches of sleep interupted by 10 min nursing sessions. I ve got back to work since they were 8 months. My work is quite demanding so i cant be a zombie during the day. How do i do it? Every now and then (sometimes 3 times a week) i got to bed with them and sleep from 6pm till 7am (i only wake up for nursings of course).

    There is one trick i ve been using since half a year. I have quite some moles on my skin and somehow i ve convinced them that after they are done nurising they can touch their favourite (of course its the closest one to the breast). They are also allowed to touch my belly button. They realx and drift to sleep in some moments after that.

    I have also discoved latelly that they have to have a big dinner before the bed. We have it about 1 hour before the bed and this is often their biggest meal during the day. They are pick eater, but for dinner we always have something they like for sure and will eat the whole plate. I also give them some cow milk and joghurt as dessert. If i dont do that they d wake up at 4 or 5 am, and demand to nurse forever (for me more than 20 minutes if forever) and when i say thats enough - there is nothing left, they d demand a breakfast.

    Of course my mother is not supporting me still nursing. Have you ever heared fo a grandmother that does? I certanly havent. My mother has been nursing me for 4 months and that was the best ever among her friends. My mother-in-law has been nursing my DH for 18 months and since my girls were 18 months she never forgets to ask weather i ve already stopped whenever she calls us. 'You have already quit BF, right darling?'

    I m often exhaused. Then I dont do anything around the house. I just do shopping and cooking. Clean the minimum in the kitchen. I spend a lot of time outside (fresh air helps!). And i sleep ALWAYS and ALL THE TIME when my kids do. So there is alot of dirty laundy and the house is a mess and (what i hate the most) there is sand from sand pit in my bed... but my priorities are clear: happy and healty kids, happy and halthy mamma, connected mamma and kids.

    Do you do baby wearing? Then you can have some stuff done around the house and still be with your daughter.

    Sometimes the advices of other people come through and i really consider weaning: then i read this:
    https://www.llli.org/nb/nbnovdec98p164.html

    I m sure your daughter will start sleeping better eventually. Maybe next week, maybe when her molars will be out completelly, maybe in 6 months. Maybe she will sleep better for few months and then she will start night walking a lot again... But she will know her mummy is only an inch away. Her mummy will be her favourite teddy-bear. And you will have the most beautiful creature with you in your bed, breathing calmly just an inch away from you, smelling of sweet sweet mummy milk.
    Last edited by @llli*jagoda; June 14th, 2013 at 03:43 AM.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    New York
    Posts
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    Default Re: Please tell me I'm not the only one?!

    Ah bless. Thankyou ladies so much.
    I dont want to wean but was at the end of my rope - the dr iwent too; as iwas always f
    eeling sick, told me to stop breastfeeding , he told me off for using the breast as comfort and told me i was smothering my daughter in attention and that she would turn into a terrible toddler! ( i should have walked out!)
    AS it stands ive come back round to feeling level headed about it again and yout posts have helped so thank you!

    This dr really made me angry though - why are some people so against breast feeding past 12 months or as a form of comfort???????

    I am looking forward to some sleep though!!!!!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    175

    Default Re: Please tell me I'm not the only one?!

    I am still BF no weaning I want to add.

    Sorry for typos on my phone.

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