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Thread: Night away from EBF baby at 4 months?

  1. #1
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    May 2013
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    Default Night away from EBF baby at 4 months?

    I will be leaving my 4 month old with my mum from 4pm - 11am as I am going away to a hotel for an evening treat. I need to express milk for this but do you think he will be ok for that long? I'm starting to worry.. He's only 2 months now and he is quite attached to me. He only sees my mum a few times a month so I don't want him to think I've abandoned him!

    He comfort nurses alot and feeds a lot so I'm unsure how much milk to pump for this? Any ideas?

    Cx

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Night away from EBF baby at 4 months?

    I am a physician and have to take about 2 overnight calls a month at the hospital. I started when I my little girl was 3 months. My husband stays with her and some nights are harder than others. I always leave at least 3 bottles of milk for my little one as she seems to eat a little more at night. I think if you are going to be gone for 17 hours -- I would leave about 20 - 22 ounces of milk, just so your mom has enough. I was always ok leaving a little more if i meant my husband got better sleep. Your mom will likely be exhaused when you get back.

    I will tell you that I always feel guilty leaving my little one and I am working -- I wonder if maybe you could do a little shorter get away (just the evening or return earlier in the morning) -- you may feel worried the whole time you are gone & not enjoy it. On the other hand, that just may be my working mama's guilt and you may have a geat time! Either way, I am sure your little one will be fine & happy to nurse when you get home.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Night away from EBF baby at 4 months?

    Is your baby already taking a bottle well? If so, then I agree with the previous post. If baby isn't comfortable with the bottle then it might not go so well. My baby has actually never accepted a bottle, and once I left my husband with some milk and a bottle and figured all would be well while I went out...boy was I wrong! She howled until I got back, never did that again.

    I think as long as your mom has a way to comfort your baby (assuming he takes a bottle) then hopefully it will work out okay. My baby is now 6 months old and there is no way I could ever be away from her for a night, since she takes neither a pacifier or bottle and only nurses to sleep...but it doesn't mean you can't have a good time on your outing!

    Best of luck!
    and Mama to two little girls

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Night away from EBF baby at 4 months?

    22 ounces sounds loads... I have pumped twice and can only get 2.5 ounces in 30 minutes and its uncomfortable :-(

    He has taken a bottle before but there wasn't enough in it so I nursed him after...

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Night away from EBF baby at 4 months?

    The general rule is 1-1.5 ounces of milk per hour mom is gone. You may need more if it's going to be used for comfort. I'd also leave your mom a tshirt or pillow or something that smells like you so he can maybe feel like you're there. And maybe have her come over more often in the next couple of months so he can get used to her. Maybe even let her put him to bed. And you'll want to bring your pump that night and pump every few hours so you don't get engorged or hurt your supply.

    It's your instincts kicking in making you nervous. It can be done, and in the case of some working moms it can be done successfully. But honestly, I wouldn't leave a baby that age all night unless it was really necessary. He's so little and there's no way for him to understand, since it's a one-time thing and not something he's used to. He's probably going to have a rough time, and so are you. Can you just take an evening to yourself? Or leave later/come home earlier? Will you be able to run home if grandma calls and says baby is upset or she's run out of milk?
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Night away from EBF baby at 4 months?

    I realized after I posted -- thanks karrieperry -- that I didn't even think about your baby refusing a bottle since mine took one occasionally from about 1 month old and then regularly once I went back to work fulltime at 3 months. I would definitely start trying to do an occasional bottle of pumped milk and then more frequently as the time approaches if you are still planning on going overnight.

    As for pumping,you often don't make very much the first couple of times your body is exposed to the pump. I found I could pump the most in the morning after my baby's longest sleep. I diligently pumped every time my baby had a bottle of breast milk (even if she didn't eat as much as I pumped) to keep up that supply. In fact my little one is 11 months today, and i am still attached to the pump even as i type now.

    It is hard to balance nursing, your sanity, and your marriage in those first couple of months, but to me it has been worth it. I haven't spent any nights away from little girl except my working nights and I am happy with that decision. You have to decide what is important for YOU and it may be too early to leave your little one for that amount of time -- even if it is disappointing to you or your significant other.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Night away from EBF baby at 4 months?

    You may want to have grandma come help getting LO to bed once or twice if possible before this. My DH and I went to a concert for his work in another town when LO was about 7 months old. She had seen my parents (who live elsewhere) a few times, so when they agreed to come meet us at the hotel to watch her we were very happy. I put LO in her travel crib asleep and left, and my parents texted a few hours later to say she was crying. When I got there, she was inconsolable and was hoarse from screaming -- I think she got scared between the new location, not knowing how mommy disappeared, never having Grandma and Grandpa there at night. A little bit of practice for your LO couldn't hurt.
    Mom to my sweet little "Pooper," born 10/12/11, and "Baby Brother," born 6/23/2014, and married to heavy metal husband. Working more than full-time, making healthy vegetarian meals for family, and trying to keep up with exercise routine.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Night away from EBF baby at 4 months?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*still.here View Post

    It's your instincts kicking in making you nervous. It can be done, and in the case of some working moms it can be done successfully. But honestly, I wouldn't leave a baby that age all night unless it was really necessary. He's so little and there's no way for him to understand, since it's a one-time thing and not something he's used to. He's probably going to have a rough time, and so are you. Can you just take an evening to yourself? Or leave later/come home earlier? Will you be able to run home if grandma calls and says baby is upset or she's run out of milk?
    I have to say I agree with this...believe me I know how nice a night away would be, and I did it with my first because she was bottle fed, but I wouldn't leave my 6 month old. Probably won't leave her until she's maybe 2 and I can verbally communicate with her. If your baby is used to comfort nursing, especially at night, it's probably going to be very hard and stressful for him. Not sure what the situation is though, if you use a pacifier or anything like that. If it's just breast all the time, you being gone would be pretty hard. If you want it to be as stress free as possible for you and baby, I would definitely practice having you leave baby with Dad and a bottle at least once per week, if not a few more times, or even better your mom. We tried to work on things that way but my daughter never took the bottle.
    and Mama to two little girls

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Night away from EBF baby at 4 months?

    Still been thinking about this... My mum lives 3 hours away which is also where the hotel is.. If I pump at home will the milk be ok in the car for 3-4 hours?

    I'm starting to think it may be easier for my mum to give him formula?

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Night away from EBF baby at 4 months?

    It will be okay -- especially if you put it in a cooler with ice packs. The storage guidelines say 24 hours in a bag with ice packs, if I remember correctly.
    Mom to my sweet little "Pooper," born 10/12/11, and "Baby Brother," born 6/23/2014, and married to heavy metal husband. Working more than full-time, making healthy vegetarian meals for family, and trying to keep up with exercise routine.

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