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Thread: Weaned? A Little sad

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    middle of IA
    Posts
    1,885

    Default Re: Weaned? A Little sad

    and just like that, DS didn't nurse last night. i was shocked. not super disappointed, i have to say, but i didn't expect it so quickly. we'll see how we both feel tonight! dropping his other nursings has often been on/off for a week or so before they completely go away.
    DS1 6/7/11
    DS2 10/29/13

    Nursing, pumping, cloth-diapering, babywearing, working professor mama with the awesomest SAHD ever.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    2,476

    Default Re: Weaned? A Little sad

    I've often heard of Mom's only nursing on occasion, every few days, once a week, etc. Weaning is an active process, not a black and white state.

    As for your DH, sit down when the kids are asleep, tv off, maybe a cup of tea in hand - so he knows how serious you are. Tell him how you feel, how your baby feels and how you feel about his comments around DS. Let him know how important it is to you, that 2 year old molars are coming and that having this tool in your arsenal will be indispensable. It will probably help him to understand once he realizes how dedicated you are to the gradual process. You two are partners, his ridicule is not being fair to your feelings or your relationship with your DS.

    What I would probably do is stick with a "don't offer, don't refuse" approach. I wouldn't offer to nurse, but if he directly asks, I wouldn't turn him away either. Chances are he'll only ask on occasion anyway.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    339

    Default Re: Weaned? A Little sad

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*auderey View Post
    and just like that, DS didn't nurse last night. i was shocked. not super disappointed, i have to say, but i didn't expect it so quickly. we'll see how we both feel tonight! dropping his other nursings has often been on/off for a week or so before they completely go away.
    Your a trooper to keep at it through the pain. I had little pain in my breasts during pregnancy, and the few times I did gave me a whole new respect for the women who did!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*amysmom View Post
    I've often heard of Mom's only nursing on occasion, every few days, once a week, etc. Weaning is an active process, not a black and white state.

    As for your DH, sit down when the kids are asleep, tv off, maybe a cup of tea in hand - so he knows how serious you are. Tell him how you feel, how your baby feels and how you feel about his comments around DS. Let him know how important it is to you, that 2 year old molars are coming and that having this tool in your arsenal will be indispensable. It will probably help him to understand once he realizes how dedicated you are to the gradual process. You two are partners, his ridicule is not being fair to your feelings or your relationship with your DS.

    What I would probably do is stick with a "don't offer, don't refuse" approach. I wouldn't offer to nurse, but if he directly asks, I wouldn't turn him away either. Chances are he'll only ask on occasion anyway.
    I wish my husband were so easy. I do need to do just that. He won't understand or agree with it. He has a 13 yr old and a 10 yr old that "made it this far without that". It's funny I was thinking on the way into work this morning listening to a song how much we are trained to quickly make kids self sufficient. He still needs his mother and the comfort he has known since birth. Society has trained people well that it's "dirty" or just not right after a certain age. Thank you for the support... it does help. I will attempt the converstation with my DH and just hope he will agree to disagree and keep his comments to himself.
    FT working momma to a 9/11/10 busy boy. Not quite weaned, but slowly getting there.
    New little one born 11/13/12 nursing great and making us all smile! Back to at work , , and LO finally enjoying

    Also wife to hubs since 8/23/08, bonus momma to H (girl) -99 and G (boy)-03
    Our family blog
    And my own blog - my avenue of release these days!

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    2,476

    Default Re: Weaned? A Little sad

    That's why I think you need to also make it about YOU. YOUR feelings, YOUR impressions, YOUR needs. You are just as much a part of the nursing relationship as your baby is. While you understand his opinion, you would like him to respect yours. Good luck.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    50

    Default Re: Weaned? A Little sad

    It's amazing how much a partner's opinion ends up mattering even when we don't agree with them.

    My DD was down to one session at bedtime (20 months) for over a month before I "tested" just skipping it. Now it has been a couple weeks since she last nursed. Part of that is because I am just pregnant. Knowing I'll have another nursling has helped me to accept the "goodbye" because I know I'll still get to nurse somebody. But I have had mixed feelings about weaning DD for months. She has asked probably 2 times to nurse in the last couple weeks (at bedtime) and I have basically ignored her requests (for which I feel guilty). But I think we're both ready overall.

    My DH has shocked and delighted me through the whole process. He is NOT the kind of person who would have accepted "extended" nursing if you had asked him before DD was born. But every time I considered encouraging weaning over the past several months, he encouraged me that if it was something DD and I both enjoyed and that didn't hurt anybody, I should not stop just arbitrarily. What an amazingly supportive partner and I wish that for every mom out there.

    I love reading all the comments here and I'm with you all. It's a bittersweet goodbye no matter how you do it. And frankly I can't wait to start all over again with the next one. I had envisioned tandem nursing, but I think weaning DD at this time has felt right, and mutual and natural. But I will consider occasional sessions on request. Sounds reasonable.

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