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Thread: Feeding on demand - When does it get easier

  1. #31
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    240

    Default Re: Feeding on demand - When does it get easier

    If I switch to formula then my husband and Mom can both help.
    DOn't do it for them. I have been there done that and it was stupid. I so regretted it later! I ended up doing both bf and formula parallel to please husband as he was so eager to bond and it was the pits. Because once the initial excitment wore off i was left with making bottles at night.
    I assume your mom wont be there forever eithr and then YOU will be the one to get up to make the bottle, boil the water let it cool off to suitable temperature, mix in the powder, cool it further, all teh while a screaming baby ... and the stress of making sure that you alwaays and especially at night have enough sterile bottles and nipples at home.

    But I don't believe myself. And I'm so afraid I'd cave in to the pressure.
    See if you can find a local LLL group or if you are not the group type ( i am not myself) find a certified lactation counsellor. I think virtual support is fine but in your situation you need a real person there to support you.

    One thing I can tell you: it will get better! At 6 or now 8 days or so, it is indeed very hard. These first days were in fact the worst for me. for many it remains tough until about 3 to 4 months. After that it gets so much better, by 6 months it was so good i had hardly noticed i had contnued long past my goal of making it at least 3 months.

    Re sleep - sleep when the baby sleeps. This is the way to survive.

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    240

    Default Re: Feeding on demand - When does it get easier

    Especially my mom is staying with us to help out and she feels bad she can't help me with the feeding part. In fact, she is so restless pacing back and forth all day having not as much to do as she had thought.
    There are several ways your mom can support you, of course. But it will depend on how she stands towards bf.
    She can make sure you have enough food ready to eat, do all the laundry, clean the house. Eating well is important so that you can bf. Have you asked her to cook for you? May be make your fave dishes?

    Also, I remember being extremly insecure about my ability to look after my own baby, until he was about 3 1/2 months. I beleived everything others like my mom or husband told me what I should do. Now I wish I had known that actually as his mom I know him best and am best qualified. Bf is feeding but also bonding. As you spend so much time with the baby you will learn to read his cues and understand his needs. Trust your insitinct.
    I was lucky to have a very supportive pediatrician, who believed in me.
    What I am trying to say is look for someone to support you in real life. If you want to bf and it sound like sounds like you do, get the local LLL support. I wish I had known that at the time.

  3. #33
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,152

    Default Re: Feeding on demand - When does it get easier

    Yes to everything Mammi posted! It sounds so rational- if I use formula, then everyone else can help feed the baby! Except that it never seems to work out that way. My formula-feeding friends always complain about their partners' lack of helpfulness at night. "Oh, he said he was going to get up and do at least one bottle a night, but somehow it's always me down in the kitchen!" And your mom is probably going home- it's not like she's going to drive to your house every night and give your baby a bottle so that you can sleep.

    If your mom's antsy behavior is driving you nuts, try making a list of chores that she can do. Sweep the floor. Vacuum. Mop. Walk the dog. Clean the toilets. Throw in the laundry. Fold the laundry. Put the clothes away. Load the dishwasher. Empty the dishwasher. Make dinner. Make a casserole that can go into the freezer, for when she goes home and you will need easy meals. Do the grocery shopping.

    A lot of people think that feeding the baby is helping, and I always at that. Because if someone feeds your baby a bottle, then they're sitting on their butts having fun, while you're free to... What? Pump? Scrub the shower? Do the dishes? I mean, how is that at all helpful?!?
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #34
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    94

    Default Re: Feeding on demand - When does it get easier

    Don't buckle to the pressure!! My mum and family all tell me to use formula because I'm clearly not satisfying my baby as he eats so regularly lol!!! What a surprise that they didn't breast feed so don't understand!

    When I started this post I felt like you but honestly I feel so much better and that's down to the fantastic support I have received from this site xx

  5. #35

    Default Re: Feeding on demand - When does it get easier

    Actually, it's common with every mom. Enjoy your days with your little one. You can use special breast feeding tops, so that your son can't remain attached to your breasts.

  6. #36
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    2,476

    Default Re: Feeding on demand - When does it get easier

    Keep in mind that your top priority is to baby. So any suggestions or advice or complaints received - your first question should be "is this best for my baby"? If the answer is no, it's more for my husband, Mom, friend.... Then the answer is no!

    I found a lot of advice I received was actually not advice at all. They were people whining about what they wanted for themselves and veiling it in "better for baby" advice. My first baby was 6 weeks early. She slept best on me / on the nursing pillow on me. Where she could feel my warmth, my breathing, hear my voice and heart beating.... My MIL kept saying "You can put her down you know." As if I was being overprotective or something. However when I put her down, she'd always wake and cry, leaving me leaking.... And you know what? MIL was jumping at picking her up. She'd scream louder as MIL tried to shush her rather than handing her over to me to nurse her. Then the drama of taking her back, the baby "doesn't like her", trying to get my now irate baby calm enough to nurse.... Her "advice" was nothing than her back handed way of saying she wanted to hold the baby on her terms .
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

  7. #37
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    middle of IA
    Posts
    1,885

    Default Re: Feeding on demand - When does it get easier

    that is SOOO true, amysmom!!
    DS1 6/7/11
    DS2 10/29/13

    Nursing, pumping, cloth-diapering, babywearing, working professor mama with the awesomest SAHD ever.

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