I bought a baby bjorn at the weekend which he doesn't mind for 10 minutes... His favourite position is o n my shoulder.. He will even fall asleep there lol! X
My days feel hap hazard at the moment!! He is 10 weeks now and I can't go anywhere! I don't know what he wants, is he tired? Or hungry? When I feed him sometimes he comfort sucks so would you class this as napping?? I try and go out when I think he's tired so he sleeps as my worst nightmare is him waking up and crying so I've spent most days sat in. My back is about to break as I carry him around so much, he doesn't like the other sling I bought :-(
I see other people who feed formula with much better routines.... I feel no one tells you the negatives about breast feeding before you start.. I worry now that he won't ever take a bottle and I'm going to be feeding every hour till he's 5 or something. I hate pumping. No one else can comfort him or feed him. He won't let daddy comfort him so I'm the only one having to rock him to sleep every night. I feel because I BF I have created a clingy baby but other people BF so maybe it's all in my head and I'm just having a mini melt down lol x
Why can't you go anywhere? Seriously, little babies are generally MORE portable than older ones, provided you are willing to nurse in public and willing to let go of rigid ideas about what your baby should be doing, and when. This is true of both breastfed and formula-fed babies. A young baby can be comfortable for fairly long periods in a sling or a carseat, while an older one may want to be off exploring. He's not mobile so he won't crawl or run away from you. If you put him on the floor, he won't immediately put something filthy in his mouth. If he's nursing, he may nurse quietly for long time periods, allowing you to nurse through a movie or a meal in a restaurant or even an entire plane flight. (Seriously, I once nursed my firstborn for an entire 6 hour plane flight. She didn't make a peep and no, I didn't get sore!)
The other reason young babies are good companions on outings is that they are fairly quiet. A new baby's loudest squall is not nearly as disturbing to other people as the shrieks of an older baby!
A lot of what you're experiencing is just the normal frustrations of caring for a baby, and being a first time mom. Again, it does. not. matter. If the baby is breastfed or formula-fed. ALL babies have unpredictable sleeping and eating habits. MOST babies care who holds and comforts them, and MOST babies prefer mom to any other caregiver. Pumping is no fun. It's normal to worry about whether or not your baby will take a bottle, but out babies take them just fine.
Here's what we can promise you. You will NOT be feeding your child every hour until he's five. You probably won't even have to do it until he's one. He's just so young right now- think of this as a very brief period in your life. One you will look back on with pride. I don't know anyone who has ever said "I regret nursing my baby" or "I regret giving breastfeeding my best shot", but I do know a lot of people who regret not nursing, and not giving nursing their all when they had the chance.
What you are describing as your baby being "clingy" is not something you created -- I think it's just temperament, and in my opinion they come wired that way -- you don't CREATE it. Some babies need to be held more than others. Some babies need to nurse more for comfort than others. Some babies accept comfort from many people (mom, dad, grandma, etc), and some babies just want one person only (mom). Some babies wake up more at night, and persist in night waking for longer, than others. I don't think breastfeeding or not breastfeeding has much to do with it ... your baby would probably want to be held just as much, and would wake up just as much, whether you breast- or bottle-feed. However, you might find that those two options pose different sets of conveniences and inconveniences for you, as the provider. Only you can decide what is the right balance for you.
Personally, my little guy nursed every 2 hours pretty much until he got into solids, and I always found breastfeeding very convenient - everywhere we went, his food went with us, totally self-contained with no prep or equipment needed, and always at the perfect temperature and in the perfect amount he needed Getting comfortable with nursing in public was a big step (maybe THE step) for me in feeling more free to get out and do stuff -- once I got the hang of it, we went everywhere together. Yes, I was the only one doing feeding-- but daddy took over other things, so we each had our special tasks with baby, and it felt equitable in the long run. it was most intensive/demanding for me in the early months - so having help from your partner or other family with everything else is really important. The other thing I will say is that they get much more efficient at nursing as they get older, so whereas in the newborn days you feel like you spend half your time (or more!) with a baby attached to you, as they get more engaged in the world around them, they eat faster and then want to get on with their baby business!
You say you feel like you can't go anywhere ... is it because nursing in public is uncomfortable? because baby wants a lot of physical contact/holding? is it because of baby's sleep needs? If you can pinpoint what things are making you feel like you can't get out of the house, maybe we can help troubleshoot some solutions?
Last edited by @llli*mercystreet; June 20th, 2013 at 11:47 AM.
I do worry about feeding in public because sometimes he takes a while to latch on and he can be fussy and pop on and off and I find it all a bit of a faff. I can't find anything to wear that makes bf in public easy and not obvious.... I also panic if he starts crying and there's nothing I can do to comfort him? I guess it's all in my head and I need to chill out and go with the flow...
My OH thinks I Molly coddle him too... He's not really had a look in as he is normally on my boob so when he does give him a cuddle he cries (baby not OH lol). So I need to let him bond with his own son x
The key to becoming comfortable nursing in public is to practice! Many mothers struggle with this early on. I suggest, start with places where you will be around other nursing mothers if possible. Move up to places to where there are other mothers of young babies and so on. You can even start by practicing in front of a mirror at home.
Taking a friend or supportive partner along can help as well. As long as THEY are entirely comfortable with you nip.
I have an 11 month old who wants to crawl all over, mix it up with other people, able to reach around to grab anything and everything that comes her way (groceries in the cart, other kids hair, pant legs of strangers etc) It was MUCH easier to take her places when she was content in my arms, and it was not breaking my back to carry her long distances in a sling. This is what we mean by outings often get more challenging as baby gets older. Baby gets more mobile and heavier…as well as, more opinionated as time goes on.
Lets put it this way-at this age, it's a blessed relief when she will nurse while we are out so I can sit and eat something or chat with a friend or just take a breather.