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Thread: Obsessed w/ maintaining supply at 10.5 months

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Central PA
    Posts
    75

    Default Obsessed w/ maintaining supply at 10.5 months

    I think I am still stuck in the newborn frame of thinking that we have to regularly nurse to prevent my supply from dropping. When I am with my DD in the evenings and on the weekends I clock watch to make sure she doesn't go longer than 4 hours tops w/o nursing. Sometimes when I do offer it to her at these times she takes it for a short time but is done quickly. Then I attempt to offer her the other side to even them out and she does the same. I am stuck in the mind frame that if she goes too long w/o nursing my supply will decrease. How long is too long to go w/o nursing for a 10.5 mo? In the evenings I nurse her right after work because I pump an hour before she has her last bottle. I nurse her to sleep so I prefer not to have her nurse too close to her bedtime so I nurse her as soon as she gets home. Sometimes she is not very interested. When we go places and do things on the weekend I try to time everything around when I think she will need to nurse again. I think this all is contributing to the huge amount of stress that I have been feeling trying to balance work, school, BFing, and household responsibilities. Am I being to rigid in my/our 'schedule'?

    This is probably the reason my fiance thinks that we "need to get her off the BM" as soon as she turns 1. That comment sent me into a tailspin too. He is great but he doesn't understand that breastfeeding is about more than just nutrition and something to drink. I plan on pump weaning a few weeks before her birthday but want to get nursing in the evenings and weekends if she desires for awhile. I also can't imagine how I would get her to sleep at night w/o it and back to sleep when she wakes up so I refuse to completely wean her just because he doesn't understand. I just don't want this to be a problem in our relationship. I tried to explain it to him the other day and he seemed to be a little more supported but maybe he was just humoring me to avoid an arguement. He wants us to be able to send her with her grandparents on the weekends so that we can go and do things or just get things done around the house w/o having to take turns entertaining DD. Right now I don't want to send her with anyone on the weekends b/c I like being pump free on the weekends. Should I just get over that desire and send her with a bottle with her grandparents for awhile? I've mentioned my desire to constantly be with my DD on the weekends since I'm away from her a lot during the week due to work in another post. Everyone assured me that it was normal to want to constantly be with my DD but I'm still feeling the pressure.

    Looks like I've got two separate issues here that I'm looking for advice and/or reassurance on ladies. I really wish I had fellow BFing friends but I am very thankful for this forum.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    1,908

    Default Re: Obsessed w/ maintaining supply at 10.5 months

    It's very normal for a 10.5 month old baby to be distracted during the day (and want to nurse a lot at night!). I would say there is no absolute answer to the question of how long is too long to go. Because what matters is that over a 24 hour period, she is getting the nutrition she needs. There are babies who reverse cycle and get no breastmilk during the day while mom is at work, and get all their milk at night. Of course, it does not hurt to offer frequently. If she feels like nursing, let her nurse! And if she doesn't, that's okay too, as long as you continue to offer frequently and are available when she is ready to nurse. In terms of going out - are you able to nurse in public? Then it doesn't really matter whether you're out and about and baby is hungry (although it is true that some distractible babies have a hard time nursing when out and about!). In general, I would say that at this age, as you have an older baby who is doing fine, you can relax a bit.

    As far as the weaning at age 1 - I remember your previous thread about this. Does your fiance get that once you have a kid, it's for life? I mean, things are not going to go back to being the way they were before DD was born. Maybe once in a while you'll have a weekend getaway, but why on earth would you want to ship DD off to the grandparents every weekend when that is the time you get to spend with her? DH and I rarely go out precisely for that reason - we both work full-time and when we have a chance to spend time with the kids, we don't want to have a babysitter watching them. Not to say that it isn't important to spend time with your fiance too, including having some grownup time together, but he needs to understand that it is normal for a mama to want to be with her baby on the weekends when she is working and going to school during the week!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    87

    Default Re: Obsessed w/ maintaining supply at 10.5 months

    we're in the same boat! our LOs are the same age and mine is super distracted too. my hubby has also made similar comments about weaning at 1 which i hate b/c i love our nursing sessions and don't want to prematurely end them. i only want to wean when baby wants it i was also very worried about my milk and her intake until i just told myself a few weeks ago, heck with it! i'm going to stop worrying! baby feeds as much as she wants from me (when I'm with her) and she's gaining well. her diaper output is good and my supply is stable. letting go of the worry really has lifted a weight from my shoulders. so don't worry, it sounds like you are doing really well. our LOs also have the same issue w being nursed to sleep -- so i totally feel you there! this is also why i don't want to wean at 1. i think i will transition her to her bed (real bed) after she turns 1 but keep nursing her to sleep. a lot of people tssk tssk me when i say that but oh well. we're the mamas and we choose! good luck

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    436

    Default Re: Obsessed w/ maintaining supply at 10.5 months

    My husband and I both work full time, and I can't imagine wanting to send my daughter off during the weekends so we could "get stuff done." Yes, that means getting stuff done around the house takes twice as long, but it still gets done. Generally, it gets done by my husband while I am nursing or holding the baby! What sorts of things does your fiance want to do that requires you be baby free? I think if it is just routine errands and chores, he would probably be better served getting used to the new normal. Like the PP said, having a kid is for life, so you will always have to adjust around it in some way or another. Because even if you stop nursing, you aren't going to stop wanting to be with your baby. Nor is your daughter going to suddenly not want to spend time with you, as well.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Central PA
    Posts
    75

    Default Re: Obsessed w/ maintaining supply at 10.5 months

    As far as the nursing in public its not really an option anymore for two reasons. The main reason is that DD is very, very distractible. I have a hard time as it is at home anymore when she is wide awake and alert. The second reason being that when I have tried nursing in not so public but not at home places she rips the nursing cover or whatever away and shows my business off to everyone . The think my fiance main concern is that he is the only one who can get much of anything done around the house nowadays. And yes I think he is still having a hard time going from no kids to us being parents now. Maybe because of this he doesn't understand why I don't want to ever be away from her when I'm not working. It would probably help for us to get out a little more for some grownup time but it's hard with me working full time and taking classes online.

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