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Thread: Separation anxiety?

  1. #1

    Default Separation anxiety?

    My dauther is almost four months old. I have two older children. The past week she has been crying inconsolably whenever I leave her for over an hour. I've been exclusively breastfeeding. She's had pumped milk maybe once a week after the first month and she's had formula a couple times. Yesterday I went to target and wasn't gone a hour before my husband was calling me saying he could get the baby to stop crying. She had a good feeding right before I left and wasn't hungry. Tonight I went to a friends house to have a couple drinks and it wasnt two hours before my parents who were babysitting called and said she was unconsoulable and didn't eat much of the pumped milk in a bottle they gave. I think the problem is she's so used to me nursing her to sleep and me always being the one to put her to sleep. Any advice to help anyone else soothe her?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    289

    Default Re: Separation anxiety?

    My 5 month old did this at 4 months, sometimes still does, we also EBF and she has never had a bottle and now she only nurses to sleep. She used to like the swing but now she won't sit in it.

    How about a distraction? Is there any place baby really likes? If it's nice out maybe a park with a baby swing if baby can hold herself up a bit? Or a walk outside in a baby carrier? My husband takes my baby grocery shopping every Saturday when she's awake, she loves that. If they are just sitting around the house while I'm gone she will likely cry the whole time, she has to be distracted. I think it's totally normal, although hard on the mamas...baby probably thinks she is literally going to die while you/we are gone!
    and Mama to two little girls

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    19,894

    Default Re: Separation anxiety?

    I'd handle this situation with time and patience. Babies go through phases of separation anxiety, and it may be that your LO is in a particularly intense phase right now. When my kids have been exceptionally clingy, the best thing I've managed to do is to stay with my kids instead of trying to push them away. Any time I've grown impatient, and tried to push them towards independence when they weren't really ready for it, it just made the anxiety worse.

    Can you get someone to care for baby in the house while you are there? Like if grandma comes over for a couple hours, and takes primary responsibility for baby. Baby can still see you, and feel reassured by your presence, while growing used to having many needs met by a substitute caregiver.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4

    Default Re: Separation anxiety?

    My eldest was like this. Could not be consoled without me as a baby and he was a child who wanted to be physically close to me (or
    my husband, a little later.) until starting kindergarten .
    But My other two have been much easier to leave in the care of dad or sitter.
    My oldest is 9 now and quite self reliant.
    I have chalked it up to personality since other factors were all the same.
    I did not think there was anything unusual with his behavior (had never known any other babies) so I kept separations short or brought him with me whenever possible.

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