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Thread: Advice? 40 & adopting 2 toddlers fert prob's bf possible?

  1. #1

    Question Advice? 40 & adopting 2 toddlers fert prob's bf possible?

    Infertility has battered my feminine identity so much. Now I find out bf may be possible for adoptive mothers. I'm elated to be adopting 2 adorable toddlers: 2 and 3 but don't want to get my bf hopes up to high only to have them dashed. And I certainly am NOT comfortable going to a LLL group yet, when I still feel like a infertile freak (on my weak days) compared to fertile/nursing-oops we're pregnant again-oblivious-insensitive-babies-popping-out-all-over-the-place-mamas.
    My main desire is bonding/attachment, but it would be nice to actually bf, if at all possible. But this whole concept is a bit overwhelming, any advice/encouragement/similar experiences? Thx!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,178

    Default Re: Advice? 40 & adopting 2 toddlers fert prob's bf possible

    Welcome to the forum and congratulations on the impending adoption!

    Adoptive nursing is possible. It can have some significant challenges, so you have to be prepared to define your own success, to a certain extent. Have the toddlers ever nursed? If they haven't, it's unlikely that they would suddenly learn how to do it at such advanced ages. But don't worry, you will bond with your kids just fine! Caring for them, whether that means nursing them or not, will force you to bond.

    Even if they won't nurse, you could still induce lactation and give them your milk in a cup or a sippy or a bottle if they still take those. Again, inducing lactation can have some challenges (in terms of making sufficient milk if your body isn't geared to do that, and in terms of the challenge of inducing lactation- it can be a lot of work and can require the use of medications that not everyone wants to take), so you have to be prepared to define success for yourself!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    middle of IA
    Posts
    1,882

    Default Re: Advice? 40 & adopting 2 toddlers fert prob's bf possible

    i agree with PP, but i just wanted to chime in to say - congratulations - and how sad it makes me that LLL doesn't sound like a warm & welcoming place to you right now (even if there's nothing "wrong" besides it's just hard for you to see babies right now). i hope you find that warm & welcoming group of mamas, wherever it is.
    DS1 6/7/11
    DS2 10/29/13

    Nursing, pumping, cloth-diapering, babywearing, working professor mama with the awesomest SAHD ever.

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