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Thread: Help with co-sleeping

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    80

    Default Help with co-sleeping

    I would like some suggestions on co-sleeping. I have a 5.5 month old who is a very enthusiastic nighttime nurser and who LOVES to snuggle with mom. He's been in the sidecar co-sleeper since birth but lately he's getting up every 1.5-2 hours to nurse or to practice his rolling. My back is killing me from sitting up to haul him up over the side rail into our bed to nurse him back to sleep. I know he would love to co-sleep with me, but the problem is that I don't get much sleep when he is in our bed. I am always worried that I will smother him or that he'll fall out. I never know what to do with my arms because he's in the space I would like to put them and I end up very stiff and uncomfortable. Having him in our bed would make the feeding issue much less of an ordeal for me, and I am hoping someone out there has some good tips on how to actually sleep with a baby in your bed.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    43

    Default Re: Help with co-sleeping

    http://http://kellymom.com/parenting...ime/familybed/

    I co sleep with my LO and wouldn't have it any other way. Went through the same as what you're doing - with baby sleeping in a cot right beside me - but I found I was falling asleep trying to nurse her in the middle of the night - and she kept waking up SO often . . . I was exhausted. Since bringing her into bed with me - she never cries at night and feeding is a breeze. It can be a little restrictive . . . I was totally worried at the beginning of rolling on her or smothering her - but truthfully I've found that I'm very aware that she is there with me. If you don't drink, don't smoke, and are not on any kind of medication that would make you drowsy you'll be fine. Mother's have been sleeping with their babies for thousands of years . . . it baffles me how far we've come from what we were designed to do!

    I lay on my side with LO on her side snuggled into me nursing. One arm is either under my own head or stretched out in front of me - the other arm is cradling babes. We flip sides numerous times during the night. I haven't found another way to sleep yet but we're working on that. LO is 3 1/2 months so we have loads of time to figure it all out. Make sure your sleeping bed is safe and not too cushy etc. I took off a foam topper I had on my bed and sleep with a light, but warm duvet.

    I'm sure you'll get lots of replies to this and lots of information! Good luck Mama!
    Life is Beautiful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    240

    Default Re: Help with co-sleeping

    Hi there. I have coslept with my son for 4 years, until January this year and can highly recommend it.

    My favourite info source is this one here http://cosleeping.nd.edu/
    so comprehensive and well researched and practical.

    One of the keys for cosleeping to work in our family was that my husband moved into the planned "baby's room", as it turned out that he was unable to sleep with the baby in the bed. This also solved to problem of where to be romantic - we simply meet in his room once our son sleeps. I used to just leave my son to sleep in our common bed (after making sure it was safe) and visited my husband in his bed (whihc actually was quite romantic in itself for us).

    The big issue really is making sure that the bed is safe, which depends on your type of bed. I moved the bed into a corner, wedged the cracks with side sleeper pillows and moved a cupboard to form the 3rd side. On the 4th side I put his crib (with one side opened/removed towards the bed) as I initially thought he would sleep there. As it turned out this made a great night stand. The remaining 80 centimeters or so I closed with a foam pillow and later when my son was able to get out of bed on his own I just placed that foam pillow on the floor.

    Some people wonder how to leave the baby to go to sleep on their own if cosleeping. To this I would say - if you cosleep you should assume to nurse your baby to sleep. And once they are fast asleep then get up and let them sleep alone in the big bed. This only works if it made safe but once you went through the trouble it is worthwhile. I think this is the one big difference to baby in a crib and baby cosleeping: any methods of getting your child to sleep which involve leaving your child to go to sleep on their own are likely not to work.

    Finally, our son now at 4 1/2 yrs has his own adult size bed in my bedroom. We bought the crib and like I said it made a great night stand.

    Whenever you transit from cosleeping to child sleeping on their own in their own bed choose an adult size bed not crib or child size even if they do not need yet it in order so you can lay down with the child until they are asleep. I still nurse him to sleep most nights and if he had a small bed it could not bear my weight. There is no obligation to get a crib or child size bed!
    Last edited by @llli*mammi; May 13th, 2013 at 01:36 PM.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    304

    Default Re: Help with co-sleeping

    I have slept with my 5 month old every night of her life. She isn't a mover, though...she just lays there! I don't even remember what really goes on all night, although I know she nurses anywhere from 2-5 times or more.

    I agree with the PPs, baby has actually never cried once at night (as in after like 9pm) except maybe the first week or two she was born and I was changing her often.

    Also agree that the "nurse and sneak away" method that the PP uses is great. Our big bed is safe, we have a baby monitor going, and I am very familiar with her waking patterns. They are almost exact to the minute. No blankets, no soft mattress (firm), ours has a secure mesh bed rail that I can't even budge but we are moving it to the floor since she is starting to roll. She also happily sleeps only on her back and wakes up instantly if she rolls. We didn't leave her in the bed this way until she was perhaps 2-3 months old. Someone would take turns lying with her until both DH and I went to bed. We are no more than a few feet away because our living room is off the bedroom. And the living room is a great place to be romantic!

    My older DD was a mover though, she still is. She kicks and turns all night long and she is 3! hopefully this doesn't happen to you!
    and Mama to two little girls

  5. #5

    Default Re: Help with co-sleeping

    You won’t smother him. Unless you are on enough drugs, alcohol or sleep inducing meds you are mentally compromised. Besides we are not talking a newborn, but a nice healthy almost 6 month old!

    He MAY fall out. Babies are heat seekers and usually roll into mom rather than away, BUT it happens, I know for a fact.

    Can you put your mattress on the floor? This is safest.

    My husband refuses to put the mattress on floor, so when my kids get old enough that I feel comfortable with it, we put them in between me and my husband.

    Until then I also use a mesh bed rail, although that can make things even less safe if baby is able to climb over it.

    I suggest, do your research on what is and is NOT a risk of bedsharing, then if you are still not comfortable, try naps at first until you feel safe with it.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    13

    Default Re: Help with co-sleeping

    I'm seconding all the above tips on safety with co-sleeping. A safe and comfy way to position yourself while co-sleeping is on your side, the arm on the side you are laying on should be out straight or tucked under your pillow/head, place a pillow between your knees and maybe a pillow loosely behind your back. Your other arm can rest next to or on the baby. This is the way I've comfortably co-slept with both my kids and I think the pillow between the knees is key in keeping me from moving or rolling over.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Paris, France
    Posts
    183

    Default Re: Help with co-sleeping

    Agree with all PP's.

    However, if you are still a bit worried or just can't sleep can you lower the side of the co-sleeper you already have and fix LO's bed to yours? I have a co-sleeping crib that only has 3 sides and attaches to my bed with two vice-like things. It allows my DD to be right next to me, but in her own space at the same time. Here are 2 links to show what I mean...

    http://www.babysecurity.co.uk/catego...-Sleeping-Cot/
    http://www.toysrus.com/buy/babies-r-...4111-n-2401894

    HTH x
    -Ishy-

    Married 28 july 2005
    Mummy to my DS , born 30 july 2008
    proud to have BF him for 8 months
    Now a Mummy for the 2nd time to my DD , born 15 june 2012 for 15 1/2months! Still whenever we can and

    DS Stats
    Birth: 7lbs 15oz - 19.5inches
    4 yrs: 35lbs 4oz - 3feet 5.5inches
    5 yrs: 40lbs - 3feet 8inches

    DD Stats
    Birth: 7lbs 13oz - 19.5inches
    6.5 months 12lbs 14oz - 26inches
    9 months 15lbs 13oz
    15months 20lbs 11oz - 30 inches

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Nashville, TN
    Posts
    511

    Default Re: Help with co-sleeping

    I've slept with my daughter since she was born and she's now 10 months. We have a king sized bed so there's room for her, me, DH and our 120 lb mastiff who is a gentle giant and seems to completely understand how precious his human baby is. Regarding discomfort you may find you need a small pillow between your knees or behind your back if you're side lying.

    You may have trouble sleeping at first as I did - was constantly making sure she was breathing! At some point I got over that worry. I appreciate the ease of nursing and we both are able to sleep as she feeds now.
    1st time mom over 40 to Alex(andra) b: 7/14/12

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    80

    Default Re: Help with co-sleeping

    Thank you all for replies. I had one very successful night of sleep with DS between hubby and me. Now that the weather is warming and there are less covers to contend with, I'm feeling more relaxed.

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