Re: Back to work Anxiety
I went through something similar, but maybe not quite as extreme. I am gone as long as you are every day, and I have some days I have to work 14-15 hours (2x a month, and I didn't start back with that right away). It gradually subsided. I cried on the way to work every morning for probably a month. I did end up talking my boss into letting me work from home one day a week, which helped a lot. It's still hard, but I've come to accept my busy schedule. There are days I feel bitter that I couldn't stay at home, but my LO is a very happy, smart girl who still wants Mommy more than anyone. I know it is harder on me than it is on her. I check in from work regularly, and pretty much run the show from work. My nanny and husband always ask questions about how they should handle things, and I know what's happening pretty much at all times (when she's napping, what she ate, etc.), even though I'm not there.
We are very devoted to cooking and exercise, so I do try to schedule those things to not be away from her too much. I exercise during my lunch break as much as possible, and then I take her in the jogging stroller. I cook a lot of easier things than in the past. When LO was little, I would put her bouncy chair in the kitchen and talk to her. Now she usually plays with her dad while I cook and runs in to see my sometimes. But other than that, all of my hobbies have gone bye-bye for now. Although I'd like to pick them up, it's just too much.
Just try to give it a little more time -- it is definitely worse in the beginning. We always said one good thing about our situation is that there's a steady stream of people happy to see my LO (daddy in the morning, nanny, then mommy comes home) so maybe you can try to see it that way, too. But adjusting to working on so little sleep, pumping, trying to do laundry and other chores...it's all very stressful.
Mom to my sweet little "Pooper," born 10/12/11, and "Baby Brother," born 6/23/2014, and married to heavy metal husband. Working more than full-time, making healthy vegetarian meals for family, and trying to keep up with exercise routine.