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Thread: Ready to give up.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Posts
    10

    Unhappy Ready to give up.

    My third son is 2 months old - I breastfed my previous two sons till they each were 2 years old. With this last one - he was in the NICU for 4 days for very high Biliubin count. I pumped and they fed him my breast milk via bottles. When we got home, his latch was awful. He was also an inefficient feeder and would cry even after an hour of feeding.

    I saw various lactation consultants - ruled out thrush, saw ENT and ruled out any ties, and received several sessions of Cranio-Sacral therapy. I would breastfeed and pump and bottle feed a few times a day to relieve my incredibly sore nipples as well as ensure that he was getting the oz. he needed. I rented a scale and kept track of his before and after weights - sometimes like in the AM when I had most of my milk, he would get a good supply, appx 3-6 oz after both sides. But sometimes he would feed on both sides for an hour and only get 1 oz. Needing 30 oz/ day and sleeping through the night, he would need to get all 30 oz in the 12 hours he is up durinng the day -which would mean at every 2 hours, he would need 5 oz/ hour and I would never get out of the chair! I also have a 2 year old and an 8 year old - so that was impossible.

    My biggest problems were:

    1) Him not getting enough from my breasts and getting mastitis in each one - two weeks apart.

    2) My nipples were EXTREMELY painful and sore, and it was pure torture putting my breasts in his mouth (use the sandwich method bc my breasts are large) VERY severe white compression ridges and scabs and Blebs and Mastitis etc etc etc.

    I have now switched to exclusively pumpling since Friday - so going on 3 days now - it breaks my heart to not be able to hold and breast feed him as I did with my other two. Pumping this often is a whole other type of pain. I pump every 2 hours now - on averaage, only get appx 1-2 oz per side after 20-25 min of pumping (mid- night and morning I will get 3 on each side). Luckily I have a freezer storage so when I dont pump enough, I can defrost some. H eis eating appx 35 oz and I pumped appx 35 one of the days.

    This will however run out eventually, and I am worried I wont have enough to satisfy him. Now I have been pumping. You also become a slave to the pump - cant leave the house for long periods of time. The pain is still there - not as severe as the terrible latch - but strange pulling sensations in my breasts every once in a while (Medela Pump in style advanced) and keeps my nipples sore. Not to mention how strenuous/ draining it is - setting up, cold plastic pump vs. warm baby body, washing bottles/ flanges/ containers all day long in boiling hot water, etc. etc. I dont know how long I will last doing this.

    SO what I guess I am asking here is will a latch issue ever resolve itself as baby's face forms ( my son has a recessed chin and a high palette but I think the main issue was being separated at birth and his learning how to suck from a bottle vs breast and my continual bottle feeds continuing to confuse him). I tried EBF'indg for 2 weeks and wanted to DIE from the pain - went from this to epping just a few days ago.

    So - I may just switch to formula - I feel SOO sorry for my little one, and like I have failed him. I am just SOOO exhausted now and have tolerated pain for WAY too long. Why cant anyone tell me if this will fix itself and to keep going? If I were a LC for 20+ years I am sure I would know the answer - seems no one wants to tell me the truth and Im sick of the run around and feel TOTALLY LOST

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Oklahoma
    Posts
    6,770

    Default Re: Ready to give up.

    Hey mama, I'm sorry you are feeling down about the struggles you are having with nursing your little one. I'm glad you are reaching out for support though, everyone needs a good network to help them out.

    Breastfeeding should not hurt, although I certainly know that sometimes it does, it shouldn't. Pain is usually a signal that something isn't fitting together right. You said baby has a high pallate, are you working with him at all to help strengthen his suck re: sucking on a pinky finger. This can help some babes to learn how to suck properly.

    You mention the pump is hurting also, can you tell us more about the settings you are using? How about the fit of your shields? Are you using any type of lubricant? Can you describe the pain you are experiencing with it?

    Some babies can have issues with ties that not all providers are versed in diagnosing as some are not apparent to the naked eye and more thorough hands on dianosis needs to be done. Did someone look in his mouth or did they actually have baby suck on their gloved finger and lift the tongue checking for lift, side to side movement etc?

    I really struggled with my 3rd baby after having two fairly "easy" previous breastfeeding relationships with my boys. She didn't suck well at all and she refused the breast for a while too. I took her to some providers that told me she had a slight tongue tie (ENT) but he didn't know that it would help her, and an IBCLC that said she wasn't tied at all. After waiting longer than I wish I would have I took her back to the ENT and had her posterior tie clipped, it improved my comfort level by about 85% within a couple of weeks. I had her seen by some highly recommended IBCLC/RN/Myofacial release people (that I didn't know earlier on in her life) at a WIC event and they taught me how to look for myself. She had somewhat of a remaining posterior tie but it looked pretty good post clip. I learned she has a big ol lip tie and for her the most impeding to feeding comfort for me she has cheek ties on each side of her upper lips. They can feel tight and pinchy when she nurses even still at times, but pulling her top lip out all the way does help a lot. I haven't been able to afford the revision for the upper ties but we are still nursing without much discomfort at 11mo and I didn't get her tongue tie clipped until she was 12 weeks.
    Last edited by @llli*only.woman.in.the.house; October 6th, 2015 at 01:57 AM.
    Mom to 3 awesome kiddos...
    C - 9yrs

    O - 7yrs
    A - 1yr old in Nov '15



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Posts
    10

    Default Re: Ready to give up.

    Hi there - thank you so much for your support!!Yes, maybe I should get a few other opinions regarding possible ties.....how did she do with the posterior clip? I hear that one is pretty painful? Glad to hear she has mproved 85% - but you are still feeling pain?

    As per the pump = using a lower setting - I just think with the frequency and duration of pumping which is so un-natural - something funky is happening in my breasts, like pulled muscles or somethiung bc sometimes I get sharp, shooting like pains, during pumping and sometimes after.

    I will definitely practice the pinky sucking bc he definitely does NOT like when anything goes deep into his mouth, fingers or nipples.

    I just wish I knew for sure if time would correct whatever it is that he has, ie nipple confusion, anatomical issues, etc....

    THANK YOU!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    8,917

    Default Re: Ready to give up.

    I really think you can rule out "nipple confusion." I just think it really unlikely that would cause painful, injurious latch in a two month old, when mom is an experienced nursing mom and presumably has tried everything under the sun to get baby to latch more comfortably. I agree with pp that it is important baby be examined (or reexamined) for oral issues and to have breastfeeding assessed (or reassessed) by someone with experience in difficult latch issues if possible. Sometimes it takes seeing several people before you find the one who can help.
    You mention having mastitis, and poor pump performance. Are you regularly engorged do you think? Being engorged can cause both pumps & baby to not extract milk well, and also make latching more difficult.

    What kind of pump are you using? Is it new or one you have used for other babes? Are you sure the flanges are sized correctly etc.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Oklahoma
    Posts
    6,770

    Default Re: Ready to give up.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mamacitablanquita View Post
    Hi there - thank you so much for your support!!Yes, maybe I should get a few other opinions regarding possible ties.....how did she do with the posterior clip? I hear that one is pretty painful? Glad to hear she has mproved 85% - but you are still feeling pain?

    As per the pump = using a lower setting - I just think with the frequency and duration of pumping which is so un-natural - something funky is happening in my breasts, like pulled muscles or somethiung bc sometimes I get sharp, shooting like pains, during pumping and sometimes after.

    I will definitely practice the pinky sucking bc he definitely does NOT like when anything goes deep into his mouth, fingers or nipples.

    I just wish I knew for sure if time would correct whatever it is that he has, ie nipple confusion, anatomical issues, etc....

    THANK YOU!
    No more pain now at 11mo and she still has lip and cheek ties that are unrevised, it just took a couple weeks for her to get the hang of her new range of motion and so it wasn't 100% pain free immediately. I do have to pull her top lip out when we nurse though. I honestly haven't been in a position to be able to afford the outrageous out of pocket for the laser locally and her ENT wouldn't do her lip or cheeks without sedating her and I didn't feel comfortable with it at the time. My DD did great with her PTT clip. It was very quick and I only gave her some pain medication as a precaution the first few days. There are two methods, one is by clipping with tiny scissors and one is with a laser. There are differing schools of though, with some people saying one is better than the other. For us the clip was best. How is your flange fit while pumping? Does you nipple rub the sides a lot of the milk collection tube or perhaps maybe they are took big and pop out with each suction pull?

    Good questions from the PP too!
    Mom to 3 awesome kiddos...
    C - 9yrs

    O - 7yrs
    A - 1yr old in Nov '15



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Oklahoma
    Posts
    6,770

    Default Re: Ready to give up.

    You may find this video helpful for watching some latching.
    http://globalhealthmedia.org/portfol...rtfolioID=5623
    Mom to 3 awesome kiddos...
    C - 9yrs

    O - 7yrs
    A - 1yr old in Nov '15



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