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Thread: How to stop using a breastfeeding pillow...

  1. #1

    Default How to stop using a breastfeeding pillow...

    I've used My Brest Friend to nurse since coming home from the hospital. Now baby is almost 4 months and getting too long and very squirmy for the pillow.

    But I have a hard time feeding her without it. I feel like I can't position her head right and her nose gets stuffed up in my boob. She will unlatch a lot and leak milk while she eats without the pillow.

    Even with the pillow, I usually have to hold my boob and kinda squish it in her mouth or else she will unlatch. Not sure if this is due to a lip tie and an incompletely released tongue tie that she has or if she is just being lazy or distracted. Its a lot harder to hold my boob without the pillow so I think this may be the main reason why I can't ditch it... .Also, she seems to do better staying latched on in the middle of the night without me having to hold my boob, which leads me to think that it is not due to her ties.

    Anyway, need tips on how to transition off of the BFing pillow!
    Last edited by @llli*breastfeedinglp; June 13th, 2016 at 01:14 PM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    9,439

    Default Re: How to stop using a breastfeeding pillow...

    Hi, with my oldest child I was also "tied" to my breastfeeding pillow for months. We had many serious latch issues early on and the pillow helped, and then I could not figure out how to not use it. I would always bring it with me on outings. I then started using a smaller version for outings. And eventually stopped needing it at all, ever. I think in the end I was attached to it more psychologically than anything else.

    I honestly forget exactly how I finally stopped using it. I think it was partially baby growing and both of us learning, but a big part of it was me finding the confidence to go without. What exact little adjustments I needed to make I totally forget, and that info is unlikely to be helpful to you anyway. You and your baby fit in a unique way, and you will discover together what works and what does not.

    I have nursed two more children and never used a pillow with either, except a regular bed or couch pillow now and then mostly to support my own arms or prop myself up somehow.

    Anyway, I would suggest there are two general approaches to 'weaning' off a pillow. One is, see what the pillow does for you and try to replicate that another way. For example, if the pillow brings baby to the perfect nipple height, what other adjustments can you make that will do the same?
    Two is, what other ways could baby be coming to the breast? What other positions or adjustments to your positioning could you be trying without using a pillow? Sidelying? Laid back? etc.

    Many moms feel that baby is squished into the breast. Often this can be solved by gently pressing into the breast near the nose to clear the airway. Trying a different position may help as well. By 4 months, generally speaking (of course everyone is different) but usually by this time baby is beginning to become very adept at self attachment (if they were not before.) But sometimes mom gets in the way of baby learning how to self attach with how she is positioning/actively latching baby. You might try looking at some videos of laid back breastfeeding/biological nurturing to see one type of positioning that tends to promote self attachment.

    I never have believed in babies becoming spontaneously "lazy" at the breast. A breastfed baby who is hungry, thirsty, or seeking the breast for comfort, and is physically capable of nursing normally, is going to nurse with the vigor that is appropriate at that moment. Why wouldn't they? Babies need milk and they need to suckle, so they are going to do what they need to do. The only reason a baby might stop doing this at the breast is if the need for nourishment or comfort is being met elsewhere with pacifier or bottle overuse. When a baby gets older they may change how long, how often, and even how vigorously they need to nurse, one way or another. This may appear to be laziness but is not.

    Distraction is something that is fairly common starting around this age. But this is rarely a serious issue. What is often happening is that baby is changing up their nursing patterns as is normal.

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