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Thread: The soother and the sleepless nights....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Kaslo BC Canada
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    21

    Post The soother and the sleepless nights....

    This is going to be a bit long, so please bear with me
    The first months with my DS (born end of Jan) were challenging, oversupply and OAL (comfort nursing turned into fussing, pulling off and screaming, wanting the breast repeat..). . LO refused to sleep at all unless mom or dad was holding him (standing and bouncing - not sitting down or else!!) and even then we were lucky to get a half hour or so of him sleeping this way. He would be exhausted, but would fight sleep to the point where even getting him to nurse was a fight (he would be so tired he would have trouble latching and would get impatient for the milk to come). We nurse on demand and the boob is the first thing I would offer constantly. After learning about oversupply and oal (thank you ladies!) Lo and I are now BF better, but he still fights going to sleep and will spend a couple of days exhausted, miserable and awake - then crash and sleep for a day where I have to wake him up just to feed him... Anyone else here experienced something like this??? Any advice?

    On top of this I have been fighting back pain since the birth (does anyone know if back labour can cause something like this? I have always been careful with my back and core strength...) And although I've tried baby wearing - I physically can't get anything done around the house while wearing him. 1. He won't let me stop moving - he will grump, cry and finaly scream and 2. the bending, twisting etc hurts... I am working on the back issue, but it will take time.

    Soooo, when I got my period back (was not impressed) and we had another full couple days of lo fighting sleep, I finally pulled out the soother and bliss! He went to sleep!!!!!!!! I take the soother out once he is asleep (just feel like he wouldn't wake up when he was hungry). And once asleep he stays asleep for an hour or two! I had not wanted to use a soother, but I am realistic in that this is a tool that right now is helping too much to not use. How do you wean a baby from the soother? I would like to do so when he starts teething - my first son spat his out when his first tooth came in and never wanted it back... Is there any advice for how to limit the use of the soother, especially with DH and extended family? Am I right to take it out when he's asleep or does it make a difference? I haven't done any research on soothers, just didn't want to use it... cause I wanted him to use the boob. sigh. I have been working to make it easier for him to comfort nurse, and sometimes its successful and sometimes not. I've tried just about everything I could find in the forums. Funnily enough just getting my period seems to have helped with the oversupply and he will comfort nurse more - just until he is going to sleep and then he will get upset (that he was falling asleep) and wake himself up.
    LO's weight gain is awesome with tons of poopy/wet diapers - I think this is just a personality thing and that he will always be a light sleeper. We knew he would want to be with mamma 24/7, but weren't prepared for the sleep fighting or that I would have such a hard time with my back...
    Lots of questions, and even just writing it all out helps my poor tired brain put things together. I am exhausted, my house is a wreck and I just need.. to tired to even figure that out. Thanks for listening and for any words of wisdom.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,096

    Default Re: The soother and the sleepless nights....

    Oh goodness, it doesn't sound like you have anything to lose by using the soother! Your baby is old enough that a soother won't interfere with his latch. And taking it out as soon as he falls asleep is a great idea- that way there's no way he'll skip a feeding, and there's less chance that your baby will become hooked on having the soother in at all times when sleeping. That can become annoying when you're always having to pop the thing back in!

    Don't feel bad about this. Some babies are terrific comfort nursers, and some aren't. The soother is there for babies who still want to suck but don't want to nurse and don't like to suck their thumbs. And don't worry about weaning from the soother right now. Your baby is just too young for you to worry over something that's still far off in the future. And there's every chance that your baby will eventually transition to comfort nursing, and the soother will phase out very naturally as the breast takes its place.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Nashville, TN
    Posts
    525

    Default Re: The soother and the sleepless nights....

    Lets see things to which I can relate. Rough early infancy (birth to 3 months, always needed to be held, nursed), light sleeper, back pain. Mine still needs to be held to nap and night sleeping is a combination of holding and side lying. Things to which I can't relate - soother success.

    Regarding back pain, I've always focused on fitness and core strength but my over 40 year old back needs ongoing attention. Carrying around a growing baby really adds to the issue. I see a physical therapist and incorporate yoga and mat pilates into my life when I can. This yoga workout is fantastic and does give me some relief www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHf1KpmlhQU
    1st time mom over 40 to Alex(andra) b: 7/14/12

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    43

    Default Re: The soother and the sleepless nights....

    My little one (born end of January also) SOO fights sleeping. She'll go for 2 days hardly napping at all during the day - then on the third (or sometimes forth) day - she'll crash . . . she did this in the womb also, crazy movements for 2 or 3 days, then the third or forth . . she'd hardly move at all. (Caused me to worry like crazy at first until I realized it was a pattern ...!) LO is a very light sleeper . . which makes things more difficult. I finally decided that co sleeping was the way to go with her and it's been wonderful. Both she and I get sleep - and night time nursing is a breeze. I definitely sleep lightly now that she's with me . . . but it's worth it. She's so much more content.

    I tried a soother with her - and she just won't have it. Actually - we tried MANY different soothers. My other children loved their *dummies* and looking back on it - it wasn't that difficult to get them away from having them.

    I'm hoping that this pattern of going days with little to no sleep, then crashing will fade. On the plus side - the last week - she's been happier even during her wakeful days . . . the older she's getting the more she's coming out of herself and showing us her personality. It really is true that these first few months are taxing!
    Life is Beautiful.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Kaslo BC Canada
    Posts
    21

    Default Re: The soother and the sleepless nights....

    Thank you - nice to know we're not alone in this! We have coslept since the beginning and its been a life saver. Funny you mentioned it - but lo was the same in the womb, I would joke that he had a mini jungle gym in there Today has been a better awake day - slept for 45 min early this morning and had a 30 min nap around 3:00. Now I just finally got him to sleep (10:00). At night he's usually good for at least 2, 2-3 hr stints. Its when he won't sleep until midnight and wants to get up at 4:00 that are the worst.
    I have been using Pilates for years - love it! And I've played a bit with yoga, but never really got a good schedule going. The video in the link looks like it could really help. I had been deliberating on going to a physical therapist, but wanted to see if I could 'work it out' with exercise and stretching... Only problem has been getting the time to do it. Now if I could do the stretches while holding lo... believe me I've actually tried it and I don't recomend it I watched my mom destroy her back and have always tried to practice safe lifting etc.

    I do hope he will transition to comfort nursing - I would love to have more time just snuggling with him rather than constantly struggling just to keep him from meltdown. At least as he gets older he is generally happier during the day - I get lots of smiles too, not just the fussing and crying. Huge smiles while he tries to chat with me (gibberish of course - but adorable) I guess I just have to keep ignoring the mess I'm really not very good at doing that (I am a bit of a clean freak). OK it drives me right around the bend.
    Sorry this is a little all over the place! So, I won't worry too much about the soother. I'll just have to let DH and family know not to abuse it. I've already had to step in on that one a few times, its been really hard for DH trying to help with lo when all he wants is mom. The soother has helped there too .

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