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Thread: I'm about to give up, seriously

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Kernersville, NC
    Posts
    31

    Default I'm about to give up, seriously

    I really, really am. I've never had such issues with nursing, nor have I ever wanted to just throttle a baby (though I haven't) more.

    He cries and screams ALL DAY LONG. Nothing makes him happy, unless he's nursing or being bounced in his bouncy seat; he does not like to be held and he hates being close to anyone, tied in a carrier. He is gassy. He has gassy poops and farts and is still straining to go. He will spit-up right after he nurses, burp sometimes, and then will spit up even an hour and a half after he has eaten.

    Now his latch is sucking. It's not only the problem I just posted about - the sound of him not getting suction down right - he's already clamping down, he GAGS when I try to get a good latch into his mouth, my nipples are raw and sore and pink, and I'm just seriously about to be done. The pediatrician said his mouth looks fine, that he has no tie problems, and so I just sit here, crying, and wondering what the HELL I am doing wrong. He fights and pulls back and wriggles and thrashes his limbs around when I nurse him, too. I try to make sure his upper lip is flanged out; I can't see or feel the bottom, because if I try, if I move him at ALL while he is nursing, we have to start all over again and he's even grumpier than he was before.

    I just pumped and tried a bottle. He's gagging on the nipple, not even on the flow of the milk, it's the nipple of the bottle. I don't know what I'm supposed to do if I can't even frigging feed him with a bottle that he'd been doing fine on previously when I'd pump and try to get a snooze in.

    I'm seriously at a loss. I can't stand it anymore. It is 24/7 screaming and crying and fighting me at the breast. I am at my wit's frigging end, and I can't afford an LC because we are strapped for cash, literally: SO lost his job about 3 weeks ago, so we have to ration anything and I have nothing left over for an LC. I'm just at a frigging loss.
    The Three Loves of My Life:
    SO: 12/12/2005
    DS: 10/11/2011
    DS: 1/27/2013

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Salt Lake City
    Posts
    86

    Default Re: I'm about to give up, seriously

    I'm so so sorry! Nothing is worse than your baby not eating. Some of the symptoms sound like lactose intolerance and some sound like milk oversupply. I'd look into those two options right away. I've read good articles about both here in the FAQs. It might also be reflux? Ask your doctor about those three things. I hope you can find a solution right away!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    West Salem, Ohio
    Posts
    176

    Default Re: I'm about to give up, seriously

    If you wanted to try a LC, you could contact your local WIC agency. I have received helped from WIC when I started nursing and they were very helpful and there is no cost to you.

    I hope things get better for you both soon
    Mother of 3 beautiful girls, and expecting baby number 4 in July

    Elisabeth ~ 9/25/07
    Eliana ~ 1/08/09
    Elivia ~ 1/22/12 ~ EBF

    with all 3 still

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    2,476

    Default Re: I'm about to give up, seriously

    Here's LLL in Kernersville on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LLLOfKernersville
    Maybe they can help? It really sounds like you need some support.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,841

    Default Re: I'm about to give up, seriously

    Mama, I am so sorry. Believe me when I say that I know how much this sucks- I have BTDT!

    I think you should call the LC. Tell her that you literally have no money to spare right now because your SO lost his job. She may find a way to help you for a very reduced fee or a very spread-out fee- most LCs are in the business not because they think they're going to get rich, but because they like helping moms and babies. Both of my LCs helped me out for free, one as a favor to the family and the other because she's a devout christian and considers her IBCLC work to be her ministry.

    I agree with the PPs that this could be lactose overload or fast letdowns and oversupply- are you having symptoms that would match?
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Kernersville, NC
    Posts
    31

    Default Re: I'm about to give up, seriously

    Yes! I am. Thing is, when I even -try- block feeding, he doesn't get enough from one boob. I'll leave him there, I'll wake him up, he'll quit nursing, or nurse forever ... and then it's not enough. If I switch boobs, then he gets gassy and grumpy. Today he was alright, but tonight, I guess my supply faded and one boob was no longer enough.

    I don't know. I'm simply at a loss. The LC at our WIC office sucks - my mom works there and she's an absolute, well, jerk. She's been doing her job for like, 30 years, is about to retire, and you can tell she simply doesn't give two craps anymore.

    I'll try to contact someone in Kernersville. It's hard for us to get anywhere these days and I know where they meet - it's just simply WAY too far to walk to get there.

    Thank you all for your constant support and advice. I'm just so tired and lonely and drained and at a loss.
    The Three Loves of My Life:
    SO: 12/12/2005
    DS: 10/11/2011
    DS: 1/27/2013

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,841

    Default Re: I'm about to give up, seriously

    It's very common to have to block feed for just part of the day. Most women notice that their supply fluctuates to some degree, usually highest in the wee hours of the night and the morning, and lowest in the evenings. So if you're block feeding, often you use just one breast in the morning and two in the later afternoon and evening.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Kernersville, NC
    Posts
    31

    Default Re: I'm about to give up, seriously

    Also, another thing that's been worrying me: He'll fall asleep at the boob and I do wake him up about 2-5 times per feeding to burp him, but then ... after I remove him upon him not sucking anymore, he goes immediately to suck his fist and gets cranky. I just... I don't know! I don't know what to do. It's either I satisfy him, or it's not enough, or it's too much. My head's about to explode.
    The Three Loves of My Life:
    SO: 12/12/2005
    DS: 10/11/2011
    DS: 1/27/2013

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,841

    Default Re: I'm about to give up, seriously

    He's a newborn. Confusing nursing behavior is normal for him. He's learning how to read his own cues, to know when he's full and when he's still hungry. You can't go wrong by nursing him.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Kernersville, NC
    Posts
    31

    Default Re: I'm about to give up, seriously

    But that's just it. If he could, he'd do it all day and it's so very hard for me to balance nursing while trying to wrangle my 18 month old. I'm home alone all day and don't have family that can come over except every so often on a weekend.

    I guess I'm just experiencing baby blues, too, and my nipples have resored up for whatever reason and I'm just tired. Just really, really tired.
    The Three Loves of My Life:
    SO: 12/12/2005
    DS: 10/11/2011
    DS: 1/27/2013

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