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Thread: Feel like giving up!

  1. #1

    Default Feel like giving up!

    I am a first time mum, my son is 5 weeks old and ebf. He lost 13% of hours birth weight in 3 ays, we went back into hospital, had top up with formula. My milk came in and we were discharged after 3days. Only supplemented for a week then ebf. He has put on weight and recovered his birth weight but has dropped from 50th to 25th percentile; everyday he feeds all the time. I realize he it's establishing my supply but he acts like he is starving and gets really frustrated. I have seen a LC and been to every group going but still have a painful shallow latch and he really struggles to get the milk past the initial let down. In fact he only seems to get the initial gushing let down during the night because during the day he it's constantly feeding. He may sleep for a 2 hour stretch, max, on a good day. Today he fed from 9am till 2pm, 1hour nap , then from 2.30 till now 6pm with no signs of stopping. I topped him up with 1oz expressed milk but he just threw it up and it's bacj on the boob. He seems to suck for ages, swallow a few times at beginning. Suck for ages then come off and scream rui go back on. We have sideways had shallow latch problems. No TT buy recently noticed he has alip tie. Is this normal behavior? This is an average day... Feel like giving up because I can't seem too satisfy him? I an beginning to resent breastfeeding and really upset that I can't seem to satisfy my little boy. Help please!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Kaslo BC Canada

    Default Re: Feel like giving up!

    Hi there - I don't have much in the way of suggestions, just support. You are doing a great job and it can be very difficult during the first months. We did not have trouble with weight gain, but my son (9 weeks old) still barely let's me put him down and eats all.the.time.. Breast milk is digested faster than formula - so baby will want to eat often.
    There are many knowledgeable ladies here and I'm sure a few will have some helpful advice for you soon. Hang in there

  3. #3

    Default Re: Feel like giving up!

    Thanks, any help or advice is appreciated.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2012

    Default Re: Feel like giving up!

    Hi there mama. I know the feeling of wanting to give up--my LO had a TT and a very shallow latch. In fact, bfing for me was painful for the first 2-3 months. I spent much time crying and worrying about it. I think what got me through was support and a strong committment to bf b/c I knew it was the best thing I could do for my baby. Sounds like you are seeking support; just by talking with other mothers you will be surrounded by people who understand and want to help. I would continue to see the LC, or maybe see if you have an IBCLC LC in your area, or even a LLL leader who would be willing to meet with you. I received all these kinds of help, and felt like each person I talked to offer another "piece" to the puzzle, if you know what I mean. Also sounds like you are very committed. Determination will help you overcome these initial problems.

    Personally, a few things really helped me: seeking support--you are already doing this, good job! Working on latch and positioning of baby--you might review latching techniques again. Make sure baby is positioned so that his head is far enough up on the breast. You don't want to be hunching over or bringing the breast to the baby; bring baby to the breast. For me, I had to use a lot of pillows to prop him up just right. The best position for adjusting a latch is the "cross-cradle" position--lay baby across your lap, tummy to tummy, hold baby's head with the right hand, using right forearm to support his back, and then use the left hand to hold the left breast; hand will for a C around breast (of course, reverse positions of hands/arms for the right breast). Then use your right arm to guide baby towards breast, tipping head slightly back, aim nipple toward roof of mouth, ease nipple into mouth starting with the side that will touch baby's bottom jaw first, then ease top part in. Baby should have all of areola in mouth. Make sure lips are flared out. If latch is too shallow, you can let go of baby's head with right arm (provided it's supported by pillows or a rolled/folded towel or blanket), and take the thumb or forefinger, whichever is most comfortable, and place it on the indention in baby's chin, and gently tug it down to open his mouth wider. This kinda worked for me--when the LLL leader did it, it worked great; I got mixed results, however.

    Just keep trying to position him in a good latch. Work on opening his mouth as wide as you can. It will take awhile for his latch to improve. I didn't see good results for a few weeks. But, that said, TIME will usually improve a shallow latch if you are doing your best to work on it. As baby grows bigger, so will his mouth and his ability to take in more breast. I think this is what finally helped me.

    You're doing a great job mama. Don't give up! You can do it .

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2012

    Default Re: Feel like giving up!

    Lip tie can definitely cause issues with nursing, and I've also read that posterior tongue tie usually goes hand in hand with lip ties. PTT can be really hard to spot! These websites are ones that I've found to be particularly helpful: www.kiddsteeth.com and http://thefunnyshapedwoman.blogspot....-frenulum.html

  6. #6

    Wink Re: Feel like giving up!

    Thanks for your advice and support, will try the tugging chin technique and see gp about poss posterior tt, just got to kkeep on working on it, good to know it gets better!!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2009

    Default Re: Feel like giving up!

    Hi and welcome to the forum! So as pps have said, it is very normal for baby to want to nurse basically constantly in the early weeks. See article at the very end of this post for what is normal at this age. As long as baby is gaining as baby should and nursing does not hurt, frequent nursing is simply normal. But it sounds as if nursing does hurt…is baby gaining ok now?

    There are a couple things you said that struck me-
    Today he fed from 9am till 2pm,
    Your baby nursed continuously for 5 hours? Or do you mean baby cluster fed-nursed frequently with short breaks in between?

    I have seen a LC and been to every group going but still have a painful shallow latch and he really struggles to get the milk past the initial let down.
    Did you see a Board certified lactation consultant (IBCLC) for a private session? Did the appointment last at least 90 minutes? Did she take a history, look in baby’s mouth, watch a nursing session, show you different latch and positioning techniques, assess if baby was actively sucking and transferring milk effectively, and give you a written plan for going forward, and give you a way to follow up with her? Because that is generally what an IBCLC is supposed to do. For more on this please see this article: http://cwgenna.com/lconsult.html

    Is baby gaining about an ounce a day at this point? If baby is not gaining well despite nursing frequently, and/or nursing is painful or uncomfortable for mom, then that is NOT normal.

    one way to try "speeding up" feedings and keep baby vigorously nursing is to try breast compressions.

    If breastfeeding is uncomfortable for you, Keep experimenting with positions and latch techniques to find what works for you. I am going to attach some of my current favorite latch and positioning articles and videos, read/watch what you like.

    If you have worked on it and latch is still painful and/or, baby is not gaining well when exclusively breasted (with no formula top offs) then it might be a good idea to again see a board certified lactation consultant (IBCLC.)

    tt that adversely affects breastfeeding is very under diagnosed and undertreated. lip tie it's even worse. I hope your gp is knowledgeable on this subject but I suggest talking to your local breastfeeding support groups and/or IBCLC about how best to get this accurately diagnosed and, if needed, treated.

    Breast compressions: http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=...tion&Itemid=17

    Tips on latch and positioning http://www.llli.org/faq/positioning.html

    Laid back position http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...astfeeding.pdf

    laid back video http://www.biologicalnurturing.com/video/bn3clip.html

    Here are two simple pictorials, one on latch, one on tongue tie http://cwgenna.com/quickhelp.html

    latch and 'Breast sandwich' article http://www.llli.org/llleaderweb/lv/lvfebmar04p3.html

    What is normal in the early weeks with a breastfed baby http://kellymom.com/bf/normal/newborn-nursing/

  8. #8

    Default Re: Feel like giving up!

    Hey mama, I know how hard it must be for you now. I really do! But I'd like to point out that what your lo is doing really totally normal! My lo used to want to latch on pretty much 24 hours a day. And I felt like I couldn't satisfy him too. It doesn't help by the fact that he appeared totally contented after given a bottle of expressed milk. I almost went down the path of exclusively pumping. It was when I came here, the wonderful ladies on this forum told me it was totally normal. Long story short, I went back to ebf (not without difficulties!), and we are a happy nursing couple till now, lo is 12 months!
    Your lo's constant latching is tough, but will not last forever. Very soon his latch will get better. You are doing an awesome job so far, so don't give up now! I have always heard moms saying they regret not trying harder at breastfeeding, but I've never heard anyone regret trying too hard! Hang in there! This tough time will pass!

  9. #9

    Default Re: Feel like giving up!

    When I said he nursed for 5 hours, then had a 1 hour nap then for another 5 hours I guess I mean cluster feeding but there were no real gaps inbetween, I alternated boobs and the only gap was if he fell asleep after coming off, even then he would only nap for 5 mins max then be desperate for the boob again. No active happy down time.

    The LC I see is the infant feeding co-ordinator at the local hospital and runs a club, I have spent 3 hours with her but I just checked and she is not registered as IBCLC. She has been working on cross cradle hold with me and says it is only a matter of mm and everything looks great but whatever I do I still have pain and my nipples come out like a wedge shape, normal on the side deepest in his mouth, shorter and squished on the side nearest to his lips.

    Baby has gained 14 oz in 20 days so below the 1oz per day @llli*lllmeg suggested. I have tried biological and side lying but he struggles to latch on himself and just sucks the nipple.

    I am also using breast compressions but towards the end of the feed they don't seem to make much difference, he just chews away at the nipple without swallowing. I know there is milk there as I squeeze the boob and milk comes out but my son seems unable to get it and gets frustrated at the boob? Is this normal comfort sucking or is he starving?

    Thanks for the links I have lots to read and for the moral support...love the never regretting trying too hard, a great sentiment!

    There is an IBCLC in my area so I will contact her and see if I can help.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    middle of IA

    Default Re: Feel like giving up!

    yes, please do see the IBCLC!! because any LC who says the latch is good while the mom is saying it hurts, and her nipples come out asymmetrical, does not have the training you need. boo to that LC.
    DS1 6/7/11
    DS2 10/29/13

    Nursing, pumping, cloth-diapering, babywearing, working professor mama with the awesomest SAHD ever.

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