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Thread: Conflicted and needs advice!!!

  1. #1

    Default Conflicted and needs advice!!!

    My son is 21 Months old. Up until last night he was only nursing to fall asleep at nap/bed time. I originally wanted to nurse until 2 years old, but my DS is very tall and heavy and wakes 3-6 times a night to nurse. I havent slept through the night since the night before he was born; and now my arms hips and back are starting to be sore constantly! Last night I decided to start weaning. He fought it initally for about 20 minutes, crying, hitting me, then rubbing my breasts, trying to suck through my shirt, he even tried offering me HIS breast hoping i would return the favor. He FINALLY fell asleep and woke 3 times at night to nurse, He cried around 2 minutes each time but did not nurse.


    I am feeling very sore and conflicted today. Ilove my son and I want to make the right choice, but at the same time I would like to try to have some adult time. Because of the night nursing my husband and I have not been out for a late night since before i was pregnant! Also my DH wants me to make it to at least the 2nd year. He would prefer to have our baby lead the weaning process But i dont think my son will ever stop!!

    My questions are this: A) Am I being selfish by weaning before 2 yrs?
    B) Is this safe for me (my breasts)
    C) Will my son feel neglected by this???


    Thank you for reading my novella and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give me some advice!!!
    Last edited by @llli*teeniebeanie; April 4th, 2013 at 01:31 PM.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Conflicted and needs advice!!!

    Oh gosh, I think a mom who has been so generous as to nurse 3x a night for nearly 2 years should feel absolutely free to night-wean, especially if night-weaning gives her the strength to continue to nurse during the day!

    Are you weaning completely, or just stopping the night feedings? If you're simply cutting out 3 feedings, I think you're unlikely to experience more than a little temporary discomfort. If you're weaning completely, dropping more than 3 feedings at once, you probably need to slow down a little or you're risking engorgement, plugged ducts, etc.

    Mother-led weaning can be difficult on a kid. But I doubt he'll feel neglected. Confused and upset, sure. But probably not neglected.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
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  3. #3

    Default Re: Conflicted and needs advice!!!

    Up until last night he only nursed once in the day to nap, then once to fall asleep at night, then what i call "quick sips" where he will nurse for 1-3 min 3x's a night. all together he nurses about 45 min a day. My milk produciton has dropped too, he get frustrated with me because they run out sometimes. I am very full and sore today! I'm wondering if I should keep going (he hasnt asked for it yet) or try maybe nursing him only to fall asleep then not during the night. I'm on the fence and IDK what to do!!!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Conflicted and needs advice!!!

    By now you've probably made a decision... But FWIW, I'd keep the last pre-bedtime feeding and drop the night feedings. Keeping a pre-bedtime feeding can really ease the transition to sleep.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Conflicted and needs advice!!!

    I wouldn't wean cold turkey. Is that what we are talking about here?

    Way too lazy for formula

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Conflicted and needs advice!!!

    Personally I would try only dropping one feeding at a time. Maybe drop the middle of the night feeding first and see how that goes. You'd be surprised at the impact on your sleep from just gaining that one interruption back. I think weaning runs into difficulties when people try to do it all at once or big blocks at once. Do it gradually so that you both have time to adjust to it. Once you're both okay with it, you can look at the next feeding you want to drop (or not, depending if just losing the one achieved what you were hoping for).
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  7. #7

    Default Re: Conflicted and needs advice!!!

    Well last night I figured I wouldnt nurse unless he asked me to. He ended up falling asleep with it. HOWEVER he was inconsolable at about 1230 am. I wound up giving in and nursing. This morning he wanted to have a mid morning nursing session which we havent done in 5-8 months! I think i tried cutting it off too soon! Tonight I am going to try to nurse him to sleep and try to cut out the mid night feedings. Wish me luck!!

  8. #8

    Default Re: Conflicted and needs advice!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommal View Post
    By now you've probably made a decision... But FWIW, I'd keep the last pre-bedtime feeding and drop the night feedings. Keeping a pre-bedtime feeding can really ease the transition to sleep.
    kind of. He has been weaned of all day time feedings but still nurses at nap time, bed time, and in the middle of the night.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Conflicted and needs advice!!!

    So Iwould just concentrate on saying no to the one in the middle of the night and let him keep the other two for now.

    Way too lazy for formula

  10. #10

    Default Re: Conflicted and needs advice!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    So Iwould just concentrate on saying no to the one in the middle of the night and let him keep the other two for now.
    that seems like the best choice for all of us (my DS and DH included!) Its hard because part of me just wants to be done, all of our friends have formula fed their babies and once a month the moms have a GNO, I cant go until he is completely weaned at night, its hard having the oldest one and still feeling tied down, but at teh same time We know for sure we only want one child and I am havnig a hard time letting go of nursing, once its over its over and I get so weepy admitting that! Tonight we are going to try to only nurse to fall alseep. Any tips for when he wakes up in the middle of the night? Also what signs should I take as "im not ready to cut out my night feeding"??

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