Last night was night 3. Night one and two were not too bad. DH was on board and DD was accepting of other sources of comfort after some fussing.
Last night she went bezerk. Screaming and crying and not settling down. She refused to go to DH and was beating my chest and sobbing.
I eventually gave in.
I do not want to breastfeed at night.
But I also could not hold a hysterically sobbing child. DH does not feel comfortable physically restraining her from being on me.
She hardly let me sleep due to constant sucking (I have my period and it is very uncomfortable).
And now I am tired and grumpy and would rather she never ever breastfeeds again. I feel defeated. I feel like my body is not mine. It is more than 5 years that I have been breastfeeding.
I am feeling so done.
I just don't know that I can deny her.
I'm a mess.
I am just so tired. And I want my body back.