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Thread: is this the end?

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    Indiana
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    Default Re: is this the end?

    I have given daycare the handout lllmeg provided in the link. They say they follow these guidelines, but he seems to eat on more of a schedule based on naps and a time frame of 2-3 hrs btw Feedings. I guess the problem I am having is I don't know myself what his cues are to eat. He never asks and his hands are always in his mouth. The only way I know is to offer and if he takes it, ok, if not,then I now he's not hungry. But since I don't know his cues, I can't tell daycare what to look for. What are common cues for older nursing babies?
    First-time mom to David Alan, born 5-20-12. Enjoying maternity leave for his 1st 5 months and then returning to full-time work as a school social worker and nursing mom.





  2. #12
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    Jun 2012
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    Indiana
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    Default Re: is this the end?

    I should add that he is not a big eater and in the beginning at daycare there were days that he didn't even take 9 ounces in 9 hours- because of this and his weight concerns I told them to feed on demand, but not to let more than 2 hours go between Feedings (he takes 3 oz bottles). I always provide extra bottles and he only taken more twice. There have also been times he doesn't finish the 9 oz. when I'm home with him, I try to offer no more than 2 hours after the start of the last feeding if he doesn't act hungry, unless he is sleeping. I swear he would be content with only eating a few times a day, but then he would never gain weight. I'm trying to get him to eat as much as he will/ wants, which isn't much to start with. He also sleeps from 8 til 5 and would sleep longer if I didn't wake him to eat. He always goes back to sleep till 7:30-8 AM. It's hard not to have him on a schedule when he's so content with not eating (rather watch the other kids and play) and he's such a peanut!
    Last edited by @llli*davidsmomma; March 31st, 2013 at 11:53 AM.
    First-time mom to David Alan, born 5-20-12. Enjoying maternity leave for his 1st 5 months and then returning to full-time work as a school social worker and nursing mom.





  3. #13
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    Jun 2009
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    Default Re: is this the end?

    You know your baby better than you think, I suspect. Maybe you are overthinking it. It sounds as if you are doing what I and the other experienced nursing moms I know do at this stage-when in doubt, offer to nurse, and if baby is not interested, try a different side, or position, or moving to a less distracting spot, whatever, or do something else to comfort baby and just try to nurse again later.

    For example, my baby fussed and cried all through church this morning, usually she nurses contentedly and to sleep there no problem. I kept offering, she kept nursing for a few seconds, then stopping and crying again. We were up-down, out-in, walking around all through the service. Finally she nursed at home for a while but still kept switching sides and not sleeping. What was up? distraction? discomfort (she has gone over a week without pooping, plus was in a stiff Easter dress at church) who knows? There is no real science to cues at this age imo. It never hurts to offer to nurse, but if baby is not interested you cannot make a baby nurse.
    Your caregivers can try to follow the same guidelines (when in doubt, offer.) They say they are following the paced feeding/cue feeding suggestions now, so, what do they mean? What do they think are cues?
    I think 3 ounces is a normal amount for a baby to take at a time. Yes it’s low, but it’s not crazy low. And many babies take less at daycare then the usually suggested amount of 1.5 ounces per hour of separation. Of course, they often do make up for it when at home. However, many 10 month olds do not nurse as frequently as every two hours, and a sleep stretch of up to 8 hours could be totally normal at this age...

    I really don't know what to make or it. It sounds like you schedule so baby will nurse more often, which on the face of it is fine (I thought maybe you were deliberately nursing less often, which is usually what happens when baby is “put on a schedule.”) But is more milk into baby the actual result? Maybe you have gotten onto a schedule that is not quite the natural one for this baby, and so it is resulting in baby eating less? Or maybe your baby is getting enough to eat, and is simply a very small baby?

    I understand you are so worried about all this because your baby is small. I wonder if it is possible he is getting enough to eat, and would continue to, if his own cues were followed, and he is simply small? Has he grown consistently? (Weight, length, head circumference) Milestones normal? What does your doctor say? In other words, is the issue that he does not get enough to eat- or is he simply small? Or is there some other issue-a vitamin deficiency or something causing slow weight gain? For example, a deficiency of Vitamin B12 can make a baby uninterested in eating. If your baby has true difficulty gaining weight, to the point where it is medically concerning, that brings your situation out of the normal course of breastfeeding that I would feel comfortable commenting on.
    Do you really think your baby would be content to let himself starve? Never cue, never cry, and thus truly go hungry?

  4. #14
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    Jun 2012
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    Indiana
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    Default Re: is this the end?

    I'm sure I probably am over thinking this- thanks for the encouragement and support. I will have to ask dc what they are using as cues- I'm guessing they a just going more based on time, except for when he doesn't even take the 3 oz, then I think they just try again in a little bit. I do try to nurse him as much as he will, offering like every 1-2 hrs when I'm home with him. I'll just keep doing this and hope that he will drink/ get as much as he wants/ needs. He very well may be just a s,all baby, but I worry soooooo much about him and his weight. Doc doesn't seem as worried as I am- he said he would like to see him gain more, but is meeting all milestones and gaining consistently (just a little at a time)- and is at (or above) 50th percentile for height and head- just 1st percentile for weight. And now with this past week, with him eating even less I'm extra concerned- I've been trying so hard to add calories, and I'm certain this week has been a setback. Maybe I need to just stop worrying so much and trust it will all work out- just so hard to do when it's your first baby, you know? I will mention the vitamin deficiency to my doc- he never mentioned the possibility so I'd be interested to see his thoughts on that. And I'll just keep trying and persevering w/ nursing, knowing I can always come here for advice (thank you!). Today was a good nursing day (thank God), but not so much w/ solids. But I'll take good nursing sessions over solids any day. Let's just hope for more like these and a bigger appetite in general. I should add it is nice to have some support because I don't get that anywhere else. And when we struggle so much with his low weight, it's easy to wonder- is it my fault? Would he have gained more if I gave up earlier and fed him formula? Would he gain more now if I gave up and transitioned him to whole milk, after all I've made it 10 months? Is my supply low? What am I doing wrong? And so many people tell me, let it go, it's time to give it up, put him on formula, etc. it's not been an easy journey, but it is the most precious thing I have ever been a part of and I don't want to give up unless that is what's best for him.
    Last edited by @llli*davidsmomma; April 1st, 2013 at 08:31 PM.
    First-time mom to David Alan, born 5-20-12. Enjoying maternity leave for his 1st 5 months and then returning to full-time work as a school social worker and nursing mom.





  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    5,731

    Default Re: is this the end?

    just fyi vitamin B12 is a usually more likely issue if mom is a vegan or otherwise extremely restricted diet wise, or has a history of gastric bypass or other surgery that would cause poor absorbtion of nutrients. I know about B12 because we need to suggest to vegan breastfeeding moms that they take a supplement.

    But it's possible defciency in another vitamin would cause an issue. I just don't know.

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