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Thread: moral support needed

  1. #1

    Default moral support needed

    so this is less a question and more a call for some emotional bolstering. my little girl is almost 5 months and growing so fast! right now she's having some congestion issues, along with the other age appropriate attention issues that tend to disrupt sleep, and it is really tearing me down. she's EBF, and while that will not change it does make getting a good nights rest these days pretty much impossible. this past week she's awakened at least 6 times from 10pm-5am and will nurse for 20+ minutes, more for soothing than anything. we used to co-sleep up until she was about 3 months but then, for my sanity, we transitioned her to her own bed (she was kicking me non stop all night and very restless. putting her in her own bed was a no tears affair, thank goodness, and we both slept better until now). if i knew i could actually sleep i would bring her back to bed in a heart beat, but we've tried and it's actually worse for me than getting up and nursing her back to sleep. i know daytime naps would help, but i'm one of those weird people the, unless i am literally about to pass out, i can not sleep once the sun is up. it sucks and right now my husband is no help what so ever, which is the truly frustrating part.

    any tips or tricks would be helpful but mostly i just need some emotional support that i'm not really getting from home right now.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: moral support needed

    No Tips. It's totally par for the course. However I do want to point out that if the night wakings have recently INCREASED then due to her age I would more likely assume TEETH. Which yes she is nursing for soothing but not just because she wants her mama but because she is in actual PAIN. The oxcytocin in your breastmilk helps with that pain. Whenever nightwakings increase to the point of resentment, that is usually it. Also reconsider taking naps. I hear what you are saying and I understand it. I think a lot of us when we first give birth feel like we CAN'T nap. But with time and exhaustion the ability usually shows up. For me it wasn't until the 4 month point because that is when my child effectively learned to sidelye nurse. But what I found was that if I laid down with him, I would be dozing. If you can doze you can sleep. Pull the curtains in your room and lay down for at least one nap a day with your baby. If you can't sleep, you can't sleep. But you will have still gotten the REST that comes from quiet laying down time. But if you PLAN for it, then your mind won't be thinking about all the things you SHOULD be doing instead of napping. And if you mind can rest, you very well may be able to nap.

    Way too lazy for formula

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
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    18

    Default Re: moral support needed

    I wish I could help. This is exactly how it was with my son, actually up until this past weekend, he was still getting up between 3 & 5 times at night. I even had to transition from co sleeping to his crib b/c he was so restless at night. He is almost 11 monthes. I have been so exhausted. It was so hard and I cried every night, but this past weekend when he woke up, not every time, but a couple of times during the night I let him cry. Every few minutes I'd go in lay him down and say good night (no other conversation) until he fell asleep, which only took about 20 minutes. I only had to do this for three nights. The last two nights he has only woken once and I get up and nurse him. Your little one might be to young to do this with, as she may actually need those night time feedings to get enough calories. I hope you find a way to get some rest. Your doing a great job Momma

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    Default Re: moral support needed

    No tricks, but if she's having some congestion you might want to take her in and make sure her ears are okay.

    I also have trouble napping during the day, for reasons similar to yours. But sometimes closing your eyes can help, even if you never quite manage to get to sleep!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
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    San Diego
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    Default Re: moral support needed

    I understand where you're coming from on several of your concerns. If you were able to make a room dark enough could you sleep? We bought those thick curtains frm walmart for my DDs room when the time changed and they work pretty well. It isn't night time dark, but it's pretty close.

    Or if that doesn't work, would it be possible to set up a sleeping arrangement where she is right next to the bed, but separated so as to not keep you up with ehr kicking? Would that help?

    I'm a relatively new mother, as my oldest is only 2yrs old, but i can say that just as quickly as this phase has begun, it will end. I know it doesn't feel like it when you're in teh throws of sleep deprivation, but... as far as sleep goes... it does get significantly better relatively quickly.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
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    Default Re: moral support needed

    Hang in there Mama--I just recently posted something very similar with my 8.5month old and night waking. He sleeps in his own crib and was waking about 4 times a night to nurse back to sleep and boy was I tired! With so many factors involved at this age (teething, developmental milestones etc) it seems one thing after another that affects sleep. Eventually they will reach the milestone of sleeping through the night! In just a few weeks DS has gone from 4-6 wakings a night to 2-3 and I'm sure it will change again in another few weeks!

    I can't nap during the day either, but I have been trying to unwind earlier and head to bed shortly after the baby goes down to get the most sleep I can! Its not easy.

    You might try saline drops if stuffy nose is messing with sleep/feedings--and also rule out and ear infection as Mommal pointed out

    Hang in there, ride it out and feel confident in knowing you're giving your babe exactly what she needs in this moment

    xoxo

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
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    159

    Default Re: moral support needed

    The suction bulb from the hospital and saline drops (I get the ones for babies... Little noses or something) work good to clear the congestion a little, but you may want to take her to the dr as pp's pointed out. Also, one thing that really helped my DD when she was congested at that age was inclining a little her crib mattress. Some people use rolled towels, but I actually got a wedge from babies r us and that really helped us, I guess it helps them drain down the congestion and are able to breathe a little better...

    And I'm with about DH being no help... It is frustrating, but if he can't help with baby, does he at least help you with house chores? I realized that I became real bossy after around 6mo, and started telling him to do stuff around the house... He did tell me I was bossing him around LOL, but I don't care, we as mommas need help, that was way back in the day when wives supposed to do everything for the DH

    Oh! And my DD got her first 2 teeth at 4mo so check your baby's gums to see if they look puffy and get some teething gel or tablets (I use homeopathic tablets - no benzocaine) and give her some.

    Hang in there!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    orange.county.ca
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    Default Re: moral support needed

    I had several months of my son having bad gas as a side effect of galactagogues I was taking for my low supply. He was squirmy and up constantly screaming in the night. I had to roll on my back and cradle his head with one arm and pat his bottom with the other...about 8 times a night on bad nights. I am switched over to domperidone now and the gas only happens when he eats grapes before bed...so the waking is so much better. It was really exhausting for a time but its better now.

    The congestion cant last forever...once you rule out ear infections or teething (my son got his first two teeth at 3 months) you could consider an allergy as a factor if the congestion doesn't subside. Definately try positioning for the congestion like a pp mentioned, it helped when my son was sick. Could you make yourself a bed in the baby's Room or a bed for the baby in yours to minimize how far you have to travel and how awake you become each time he wakes? Its only temporary and worth a try. As for day time napping, I take a warm bath with my baby and get us both clean, dress and nurse him and if I'm not asleep already during his nurse (he takes a long time with a sns of bm) then I have some herbal tea and curl up win a down comforter while watching my favorite movie...provided my son is napping at this point. I find he sleeps much better when he is next to me so if I am really exhausted I just curl him up with me. It feels like cheating, but it just makes things so simple.
    Long time wannabe Momma. First time actual Momma.

    -candice -

  9. #9

    Default Re: moral support needed

    thank you for the much needed support. we went to see the doctor yesterday and she's just got a very minor cold( though her cough sounds horrid) so we don't even need antibiotics at this point. we have saline drops for her nose, and while they help giving them to her is a battle every time, so we only do it about 2x a day morning and evening. we do have the humidifier going by her bed at night and i've inclined her bed and it seemed to make it easier for her to breathe last night but she still "woke up" very frequently again. since her bed is in our (small) bedroom i don;t have to go too far to get her at night, the biggest issue is i'm so tired that i really and cross eyed and stumbling so i end up having a small anxiety spike as well as the usual late night blehs.

    i'm hoping that once this cold goes away she'll settle back into a better sleeping pattern but i'm not going to hold my breath lol.

    thank you all again, it means a lot to have ladies i can moan to that know what i'm dealing with

  10. #10
    Join Date
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    Default Re: moral support needed

    Oh. I would put breast milk in a dropper and use that instead of Saline. you will get less resistance. I forgot to post that.

    Way too lazy for formula

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