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Thread: Exhausted and very frustrated

  1. #1
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    Default Exhausted and very frustrated

    Again, ladies I apologize for the long post, please bear with me. My premie born at 34 weeks is now approaching her due date of March 22. I've been to my military hospital's lactation consultant and I left confused as ever and nothing seems to work. As per advice from my last post here, here's what I've done...

    1. Pumped every 2 hours, still only pumping very little
    2. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate is what I did...felt like I was pregnant allover again
    3. Placed my baby (kangaroo care and all) on my chest, let her smell me (no perfume was used, dye and detergent free soap used to wash my clothes as well)
    4. Put baby on breast as much as I could
    5. I have been pumping with Medela Symphony hospital grade
    6. Approved to do so, been taking 3 fenugreek 3x a day (purchasing more milk plus as we speak as well as the tea)

    Now, this consult we attended went like this...Baby was weighed and she's gaining weight. (Baby born at 4 lbs 11 oz/2 week check up baby was at 5 lbs/Synagis shot appointment baby weighed 7 lbs 3 oz/and at lactation visit 3 days later she was at 7 lbs 7 oz) Talked to consultatant about baby's poop (pea greenish, but she's also supplementing as per doctor's orders for first year of life on Similac Neo Care), she watched us "try" to breastfeed and told me to stop using my shield. I have not used the shield in a long time so we were ok with that. In addition, she told me to pump every 3 instead of 2. Baby was squirted with milk to "remind" her that milk comes from my breast, told me to hold my breast in a "sandwich" and that was about it. Baby "latched" on twice (and I sure felt it), but short of just latching, she didn't "eat" or do much else except that. Soon after I was encouraged in a fake manner to keep up the "good job" I'm doing and sent me on my merry way. I'm not bashing the resources available to me but I've read or been told everything this woman "advised" me on. Got the lesson on oatmeal, dark room-stress free, massage breast, kangaroo care and EVERYTHING I have tried.

    I appreciate the help from a professional, but I'm not sure what to do anymore. Please understand that I am fully aware of her early start and she's still trying to catch up...I'm active duty and have to go back to work April 1 (joke's on me lol), and I just know based on my difficulty with work schedules, my pumping will probably take a major hit. (not because they don't allow us to pump, except it's a very hectic environment where I work and I have to resort to my transportable pump-Medela Pump in style advanced, which is garbage!)...

    Anyways, I think this is more of a vent since I'm flustered and unsure...I've been to my medical, kellymom.com, facebook, you name it....If all else fails, probably will resort to exclusive bottle feeding both formula and whatever drops I can pump. Thank you for listening to me

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Exhausted and very frustrated

    What would you like to accomplish? If it's exclusive breastmilk, you need to pump 10-12 times in a 24hour period. Period. There is no way around that. IF there is some ways to do that with pumping every 3hours I can't see it. Because every 3 hours only gets you pumping 8 times a day. Which is NOT ENOUGH. Have you decided to give up? Because you are frustrated that you are hearing the same thing from everyone? Because you are getting the right advice. What you do with that advice is up to you. Honestly deciding to pump LESS suggests to me that you are ok with the idea of NOT making it work. Are you feeling that way? Because to get your supply up you pump 10-12 times a day, you keep your baby skin to skin, you let her latch and suck as much as she possibly will and you ACCEPT the fact that the 1st 6-12 weeks of having a new born and breastfeeding mean sitting on the couch in your PJs all. day. long and doing Not much else. Are you willing to do that? Until you go back to work at least? Because every day that you do this, actually DO IT, and not be mad that you aren't hearing some different magic answer, but do the work, you affect your supply positively.

    Way too lazy for formula

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Exhausted and very frustrated

    It's not that I want to hear a "magic" reply...I was simply sharing my frustration with everything I've done. I don't have the luxury to sit and pump every 2 hours, especially since I'm headed back to work soon. My husband is deployed so its just baby and I. I do put in a lot of effort and "work" into it; i resent your judgmental tone and inference about my lack of wants and efforts in my dilemma. Thank for your reply though.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Exhausted and very frustrated

    No tone. Just honest questions. I don't see you mentioning anywhere in your post about what progress you have made. Or anything about your actual milk production. Where it was vs where you are. Or what you want to see happen. There is no real point in talking to in depth about getting the baby all the way back to breast if that isn't your intention is there? So I am trying to figure out what your actual goals are so that we may effectively help you.
    And also Why can't you? If it's just you and the baby and no one else, why can't you just sit around get her to latch as often as possible and pump while she sleeps? For as long as you can? Why isn't that a viable option?

    Way too lazy for formula

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Exhausted and very frustrated

    I don't think Djs.mom meant anything "tone-y" or judgmental with her questions. It's not entirely clear from your original post what you're hoping to accomplish, or exactly where you are at this point. Maybe you covered that in a previous post? If so, either link us to it or give us the rundown again- otherwise we're going to be all "is she the lady who is exclusively pumping or the lady who thinks she has low supply but probably doesn't or the one with the non-latching baby..."
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Exhausted and very frustrated

    I had my baby via emergency c section February 9 at 34 weeks due to preeclampsia. My blood pressures were through the roof and I had already been hospitalized right before my surgery for same issues. Baby went into NICU and I went to ICU for my complications. I was physically unable to pump right after because of heavy medications, ICU stay and not being able to hold baby because she was in an incubator. I pumped a few days later and only pumped a few drops of colostrum. I didn't get my milk until about the 5/6 day if I remember correctly. I held my baby in NICU but she had to be fed through feeding tube. So as you can see we didn't have the normal start most of you get with your children. I have never been able to pump more than 20 mL on both breasts. When I started I pumped 5-10 mL, went up to 15-20 mL and have been pumping since I was able to. Baby latched on via nipple shield and fed through nippling (syringe with milk and squeezed through shield). She wasn't diagnosed with the tongue tie, but her pediatrician did tell us she was not mature yet to latch and suckle. After many attempts her doc insisted she not be pushed to try to latch (because she was premie) longer than 5 minutes. I was instructed that feeding her was to take higher precedence. I'm down to 10-15 mL again. I sit with her and feed but I also have to tend to my house work, I'm in graduate school so my classes don't stop, and she sleeps during the day and awake all night. It might not have been "tone-y" but I came to this forum for help and it feels like there's an air of judging because immediately the blame falls on me. I do apologize if I'm cranky and frustrated, but this is my first time and with my clock ticking to go back to work, my options look bleak.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Exhausted and very frustrated

    She recently began refusing to eat or use the shield so consultant said to stop using it.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Exhausted and very frustrated

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mandykane View Post
    So as you can see we didn't have the normal start most of you get with your children.
    I'm so sorry you got such a rough start. That makes establishing a nursing relationship so much harder. Keep in mind most of us are here because we did not get 'normal' starts or had difficulties for one reason or another. We're just trying to figure out how best to help you reach your goals, whatever they are. If you let us know what they are we can help better. I'm going to go look for a couple of mamas who had preemies and send them to talk to you, since it's not something I have any experience dealing with.

    It might be time to look at things you can let go of so you can focus on taking care of the baby. I'd start with letting go of housework, since that's the lowest priority. I'm guessing you don't have anyone that can come help you out with the new baby or they'd already be there, but if you do have anyone you could ask, call them now. This is not the time to feel like you shouldn't bother people. Did you make any arrangements with them prior to the baby's birth regarding what was going to happen when baby was born? Can you talk to your professors and delay some of your assignments for school?

    It's okay to be frustrated. We're here to help. Let's work together.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
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  9. #9
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    Default Re: Exhausted and very frustrated

    Yeah my intitial Gut reaction is to get you to make more milk. Because you can. And because if anyone needs breastmilk, it's a preemie. So what I would normally do is talk to you about how to make all her milk. Whether she drinks it directly from you or not.
    And what Blame? I am just wanting a clear picture of where you want to go. Plenty of people go back to work and pump and feed and it's fine. The sooner you introduce formula the more slippery the slope is with it. And you are still speaking as if going back to work means certain doom. But it doesn't have to mean that. But ultimateley what do you want to see happen? How long do you want to provide breastmilk for your child? Those are the questions we need the answers to to adequately help you problem solve.

    Way too lazy for formula

  10. #10
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    Mar 2013
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    Default Re: Exhausted and very frustrated

    That is so tough to have a start like that! My hubby is former Navy, so I feel your pain regarding deployment. It is really tough to have a new baby when your spouse is away and you probably don't live near family. Looks like you are going back to work 8 weeks post-delivery. Did you use 4 weeks pre-baby, I'm guessing? I wish that longer maternity leave was granted for moms of premies.

    It sounds like right now baby is getting formula. Is she also getting the breast milk you are able to produce? I'm all for baby getting as much breast milk as possible. Formula is a blessing for when that is not able to happen. It sounds like you are doing all that you can do to provide breast milk for your little one. In the end you are the momma and you will do what is best for your baby, whether that is continuing to try to nurse, pump, or use formula. I'm sorry it has been such a hard road for you. I know you will make the best decision for your family!

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