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Thread: Sleep deprived mom of 12 month old

  1. #1

    Default Sleep deprived mom of 12 month old

    My daughter turned a year last month. I have been trying to night wean her. She goes to sleep around 730 and wakes around 7 am. I typically put her to sleep in her twin bed in her room then join her after the first waking. she wakes every three hours or so. I'm exhausted. My pediatrician said to just quit nursing at night as she doesn't need the calories. She said it would take three or so days and my baby would settle in to not nursing through the night. It's been about two weeks. My daughter continues to wake and look for me so she can nurse. There have been many days she is up for an hour or more asking to nurse. I sometimes offer her water. I have been pretty consistent not nursing her until 5 am or after. There were two or three nights I gave in when I had the flu. She's never slept through the night and only a handful of times has made it past three hour stretches. She is in generally very strong willed and very attached to me. Clings to me all the time.

    This is my first baby. We are also in the process of adopting a 14 year old and I work full time, mostly from home. I desperately need sleep. Any suggestions?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
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    Default Re: Sleep deprived mom of 12 month old

    Hi mama, it sounds like you have already made a lot of progress with night weaning if you are not nursing until 5 am! Here's a link to suggestions from Jay Gordon for night weaning: http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html. One thing that's common at a year is for the one-year molars to be breaking through, which is painful and makes babies want to nurse for comfort, rather than calories. Do you think that could be a possibility? If so, you might want to consider some motrin or tylenol as well. Hang in there!

  3. #3

    Default Re: Sleep deprived mom of 12 month old

    Thanks for the link. I know she has a front tooth coming in. Maybe the molars are too. She hasn't been fussy though. Even though she doesn't nurse till 5 she's still up before then, will that go away soon as she learns there's no point to wake up?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
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    Default Re: Sleep deprived mom of 12 month old

    Yeah, that's the idea - but every baby is different, and some are more stubborn than others! I think you just have to try it and see what works. And if not, try something else. One suggestion I saw on a recent post was to wear multiple layers, so baby can't smell you.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    Default Re: Sleep deprived mom of 12 month old

    Can your DH work on putting her back down when she wakes in the middle of the night? Maybe she'd go back down better for him...though it still might take a few days...

    I've been in the process of night weaning my 1-yo as well. I will nurse him all he wants until no later than 9 PM, then he goes down in his pack-n-play to start the night. So far I'm settling for five hours, nursing him anytime after 2 if he wakes (I also bring him to bed with me at this time). I plan to gradually increase this time. Most nights he will sleep through till 2 now; he used to be in the habit of waking every couple hours, so this is excellent progress for us!

    You do have to be consistent, though. And yes it's hard. Especially when it's already been 2-3 nights into the process and you're still not seeing the desired result of more sleep for yourself and you are exhausted. If you and DH could maybe work in "shifts" or something, would that help? You get up with her 2 nights, then he gets up with her 2 nights, etc...
    ~Sylvia~

    Wife to Nick, m. May 2005

    Mommy to Gabriel (b. January 2007, 8lbs. 15oz.), nursed 18 months.

    Isaac (b. August 2009, 9lbs. 1oz- naturally), nursed 22 months, through PPD/PPA and emergency gallbladder surgery.

    and Corban (b. March 2012, 11lbs. 6Oz.- naturally in the water), my NICU baby, still nursing strong at age 2!


    Daughter of God

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    Default Re: Sleep deprived mom of 12 month old

    Oh, I also find that putting DS3 down in his bed awake vs. nursing him to sleep helps him to sleep a longer stretch and not freak out as much if he wakes up to find himself not in my arms anymore. I can still be in the room with him as he settles down to sleep, patting his back, singing to him, even holding him for brief periods before putting him back down if he's being terribly fussy. After a week or so of this, it's getting much easier. And he also takes better naps during the day now.
    ~Sylvia~

    Wife to Nick, m. May 2005

    Mommy to Gabriel (b. January 2007, 8lbs. 15oz.), nursed 18 months.

    Isaac (b. August 2009, 9lbs. 1oz- naturally), nursed 22 months, through PPD/PPA and emergency gallbladder surgery.

    and Corban (b. March 2012, 11lbs. 6Oz.- naturally in the water), my NICU baby, still nursing strong at age 2!


    Daughter of God

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
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    California
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    418

    Default Re: Sleep deprived mom of 12 month old

    Night-weaning won't necessarily result in fewer night wakings, unfortunately. It MIGHT, but then again, it might not, and if it doesn't you've just removed the most effective tool in your arsenal to help baby go back to sleep. If you are determined to night-wean, I think having someone else cosleep with the baby and put baby back down when she wakes is the best way to do it--if you are right there next to her she WILL want to nurse when she wakes up and won't understand why she can't. Personally, I've chosen not to even attempt night-weaning with my DS (16 months) until he gets all his first year molars in and until I think his language is such that he can understand when I say he can't nurse now and we will nurse 'when the sun comes up'. For now, he wakes 1-3x a night and I just roll with it. I work full-time and am tired as well, but my son is actively getting his 1st year molars (late teether) and I know he's in pain so I'm not going to deny him the most comforting thing to him right now. My son also doesn't yet understand concepts of time and 'later' so if I don't let him nurse he gets very upset. I'm going to wait until he's a bit more grown up and can understand 'later' before attempting night weaning (although I hope he'll just start sleeping through the night on his own--we had a good stretch there from 13-15 months where he was doing just that, then he started on the molars). I'm not saying you're wrong for night-weaning if that's what you want to do; just explaining my rationale and saying that night-weaning doesn't always mean the end of night-waking, unfortunately. Best of luck, hang in there.
    First-time mama to Joshua, 10/29/11. 29 months and going strong! for 14 months; now finished with pump weaning!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    Ohio
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    Default Re: Sleep deprived mom of 12 month old

    I have been in your shoes! My son was the same way and I let it happen because he didn't eat a lot in the day, but at a year and half I knew things had to change. I started by decreasing a nursing a night. He would wake at regular intervals at night, so at his first waking I would soothe him to sleep other ways. Yes he would wake up a lot at first, but until that 3 hr mark I would not nurse him. After about 3 days he would wake up still, but go down till he next feeding. When the DS would sleep through the feeding , I would start on the second feeding and do the same. It can be tiring weaning, just as the nursings can be, but it does get better. After getting that first one eliminated feeding is the worse, after that one is accomplished you and baby know how to adapt, and the others are easier. I chose to wean feeding by feeding cause it just seemed so much to do all the feedings at once, especially when he was nursing 5 to 6 times a night!


    11/22/2006 - My Pro Athlete - Son

    11/13/2008 - Mommy's Superhero - Son

    03/15/2012 - What I didn't know I was missing, my baby girl

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