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Thread: Very Worried/Desperate - Please Help Me Ladies!!!

  1. #1

    Default Very Worried/Desperate - Please Help Me Ladies!!!

    Hi to all!

    This is my first post. Please help me I am going out of my mind with worry for my DD. I also have a 3 year old son with ASD and a severe eating disorder and recently discovered heart abnormality issues and I am loosing the plot right now.

    I am EBF my second child. She is 4 1/2 months old. I have always worried about whether or not she is getting enough as she seems hungry all of the time and is an extremely sleepy feeder. From birth and to this day, the times that she does feed well (longer/deeper) she is much happier and naps better. Most of the time however she is crying and not able to nap and needs to suck all of the time. She needs to suck to sleep and wakes up within minutes and screams if I leave her side.

    I have hired a BA IBCLC to come and monitor us over 2.5 hours when she was a couple of months old and the lactation consultant had never seen such a sleepy baby! She suggested it could be a birth trauma issue before I told her about her birth. DS was a very fast home birth, born under 2 hours from first contraction and out in 2 pushes. She was born suckling her fingers furiously and we had to try hard to keep her fingers out of her mouth in order to breastfeed her. The consultant recommended cranial sacral therapy (we did two cranial sessions and thought saw improvement for 24 hours). The consultant also observed that DD was reluctant to put her head back to latch on properly and seemed too sleepy to want to feed properly, but was sure that she was getting enough milk.

    DD will cry if I am not holding her and is not keen on slings although slings work some of the time. She will become hysterical the moment I lay her down to go and do something. She will only nap if she is on me with a boob in her mouth but doesn't suck for too long. She does do deep sucking on the boob for about one minute and the rest is like she is snacking in small doses and very sleepy. I think she is over-tired in the day because she can't nap efficiently without being in my arms.

    I went through HELL to breastfeed my DS. He had/has multiple food intolerances (reflux/severe colick) when he was a baby and I was down to 7 foods for almost 14 months and had to wean at 14 months due to my own health issues.

    My point is, I would normally do ANYTHING to give my babies the best and I am doing everything I can. I offer DS the breast constantly and hold her constantly. I hardly get the time to take a shower. My son with ASD is very hard work and needs A LOT of one-to-one and I don't have a great support network to help me out, just my amazing husband who works a day job.

    DS is slowly slipping down from her curve in a gradual slide from the line between 50th and 75th to where she is currently which is just above 50th but soon to reach 25th on her current trend. She is 20 weeks old and weighs 6.9 kg. We co-sleep and she dream feeds a few times per night.

    I've off dairy, soy and gluten since the last trimester. Eggs give her blood in her poop so I've been off of egg for months. Her poop is sometimes great but mostly very watery.

    What can I do? I feel like she is hungry and tired all of the time. She does have times each day where she is happy but only for a couple of minutes. If someone else holds her she will just cry or watch me wherever I go with a sad look on her face before crying inconsolably.

    It could be teething but unless she was teething at birth, nothing has really changed since her birth.

    Please help, I can't hold it together much longer without help/advice.

    Sorry this is long and thank you so much.


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    San Diego

    Default Re: Very Worried/Desperate - Please Help Me Ladies!!!

    Hi mama. You have a lot on your plate... I give you big hugs.

    By any chance, has your daughter been checked for posterior tongue tie (PTT) and upper lip tie (ULT)? My son had both, and he was a very sleepy nurser and wanted to be latched on almost constantly. I'm sure more experienced, knowledgable women will respond with more help, but it may be worth looking into PTT and ULT.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Very Worried/Desperate - Please Help Me Ladies!!!

    Hello and thank you for your reply. The lactation consultant also had that concern and checked out the inside of her mouth but said she had no problems there. I could always get a second opinion though!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006

    Default Re: Very Worried/Desperate - Please Help Me Ladies!!!

    Was your son kind of a little guy, too? Or was he a plump baby?

    It's pretty common for babies to slip down the charts between the 2 and 4 month visits. Breastfed babies tend to gain weight fastest in early infancy, and then level out. The rate of weight gain often slows even more when a baby becomes active- reaching, rolling, crawling, standing, etc. all burn tons of calories. What's important is that babies continue to gain weight, height, and head circumference, and that they appear happy and healthy. Happy, of course, is a relative term- there are content, placid babies and also fussy, high-needs babies. It sounds like you have one of the latter, if your LO is already exhibiting signs of separation anxiety and will not nap unless she is in your arms.

    Have you tried lots of different slings, or just one? Not all babies are comfortable in all slings. Some babies are only content when facing out, some want to snuggle in, some prefer a hip carry.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Very Worried/Desperate - Please Help Me Ladies!!!

    Hello, thanks very much for your reply! My son was always on the curve for his weight and height - 50th for weight and 75th for height. He was EBF for 6.5 months.His build was always slim but plump until around 5 months old or so where he got long and lean but he didn't change on his curves. As he was my first I think I expected DS to be the same, as in not wandering off the curve mark where she started off. DD is in the 90s for height (can't remember exactly where) but seems to be doing what you described for breastfed babies. I haven't had her head circumference checked recently so I must arrange this. When she is not crying she seems happy (only If I am holding her but no one else). She will laugh when I play with her or laugh when others play with her as long as she is with her mama. Her weight is gaining but not by much. Is this the leveling out part? Last week she put on 1.7 ounces. I've had severe mastitis three times since she was born and we've had a virus twice and on those weeks she didn't gain anything.

    I haven't tried a whole lot of slings. I carried DS for 7 months. With DD she hates to be carried on my front with either my Manduca or Sleepy Wrap and Close Baby. When she is happy for me to put her in a carrier she will accept the back carry of my Manduca (it's like an Ergobaby). Half the time she is in there she will eventually start to yell at me and beat me on my back to get out. The other half she is happy for me to do housework and will fall asleep on my back. I don't keep her on my back for long whilst she sleeps because I am worried about her slouching her head too much as it is hard to see when the straps hide her face at that time. However she does sleep for longer stretches if I keep her on my back for a while to nap and then lower her down on to the bed. I'm personally not too keen on the crotch-dangling forward facing type carriers like the Baby Bjorn which is a very popular choice here in the UK. I've owned a couple for DS. Knowing my luck, she'll probably love those! I haven't tried the hip carry, I have bad hip issues and I need the equal distribution with the baby's weight so the back or front carry is all I'm happy to do until my hip improves.

    Thank you so much ladies, I am already feeling calmer about things. It is tough with two high-needs little ones but easier to deal with if I know that DS is okay and not starving or something. I will get her head circ checked asap though.

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