Hi to all!
This is my first post. Please help me I am going out of my mind with worry for my DD. I also have a 3 year old son with ASD and a severe eating disorder and recently discovered heart abnormality issues and I am loosing the plot right now.
I am EBF my second child. She is 4 1/2 months old. I have always worried about whether or not she is getting enough as she seems hungry all of the time and is an extremely sleepy feeder. From birth and to this day, the times that she does feed well (longer/deeper) she is much happier and naps better. Most of the time however she is crying and not able to nap and needs to suck all of the time. She needs to suck to sleep and wakes up within minutes and screams if I leave her side.
I have hired a BA IBCLC to come and monitor us over 2.5 hours when she was a couple of months old and the lactation consultant had never seen such a sleepy baby! She suggested it could be a birth trauma issue before I told her about her birth. DS was a very fast home birth, born under 2 hours from first contraction and out in 2 pushes. She was born suckling her fingers furiously and we had to try hard to keep her fingers out of her mouth in order to breastfeed her. The consultant recommended cranial sacral therapy (we did two cranial sessions and thought saw improvement for 24 hours). The consultant also observed that DD was reluctant to put her head back to latch on properly and seemed too sleepy to want to feed properly, but was sure that she was getting enough milk.
DD will cry if I am not holding her and is not keen on slings although slings work some of the time. She will become hysterical the moment I lay her down to go and do something. She will only nap if she is on me with a boob in her mouth but doesn't suck for too long. She does do deep sucking on the boob for about one minute and the rest is like she is snacking in small doses and very sleepy. I think she is over-tired in the day because she can't nap efficiently without being in my arms.
I went through HELL to breastfeed my DS. He had/has multiple food intolerances (reflux/severe colick) when he was a baby and I was down to 7 foods for almost 14 months and had to wean at 14 months due to my own health issues.
My point is, I would normally do ANYTHING to give my babies the best and I am doing everything I can. I offer DS the breast constantly and hold her constantly. I hardly get the time to take a shower. My son with ASD is very hard work and needs A LOT of one-to-one and I don't have a great support network to help me out, just my amazing husband who works a day job.
DS is slowly slipping down from her curve in a gradual slide from the line between 50th and 75th to where she is currently which is just above 50th but soon to reach 25th on her current trend. She is 20 weeks old and weighs 6.9 kg. We co-sleep and she dream feeds a few times per night.
I've off dairy, soy and gluten since the last trimester. Eggs give her blood in her poop so I've been off of egg for months. Her poop is sometimes great but mostly very watery.
What can I do? I feel like she is hungry and tired all of the time. She does have times each day where she is happy but only for a couple of minutes. If someone else holds her she will just cry or watch me wherever I go with a sad look on her face before crying inconsolably.
It could be teething but unless she was teething at birth, nothing has really changed since her birth.
Please help, I can't hold it together much longer without help/advice.
Sorry this is long and thank you so much.