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Thread: beginning to feel insecure with nursing...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    103

    Default beginning to feel insecure with nursing...

    my son is turning 2 next week. anyone else feel that they wanted to keep their nursing secret if they went over a certain amount of time? for me it feels like two years. i am very proud that we went this long and i dont feel any strong desire to stop. yes, some evenings are annoying and i want him to just unlatch already but most nursing sessions i don't even think about it, it's just what we do. there is a part of me that feels if i keep it secret maybe there is a part of me that is ashamed, or people will think i'm weird. again, i know this is not a reason to stop and i know that it is healthy for him and me... i'm just feeling weird.

    anybody else feel this way?

    one other question, he still takes a pacifier at night after our evening nursing session and i want to wean him from the paci . any helpful hints on that?

    thanks ladies!
    mom to ds daniel 12/16/09 and ben 2/27/11

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    240

    Default Re: beginning to feel insecure with nursing...

    Ihave been nursing my son now for 4 years and I did stop nursing in public or in front of friends even, when my son was about two. I was simply not interested in discussions anymore and eventually it became a sort of semi-secret as most people anyway assumed I had weaned him as they no longer saw us nursing. Over a period of time I simply told my son that we would nurse later at home or when we were alone. I did not tell him it was a secret but he evenutally stopped asking for it in front of others. I am not ashamed of nursing him but I find that the unsolicited advice I got was not at all helpful and in fact the discussions were only stressful for me.

    The best part about keeping it a secret is that all those people who blamed any and all problems i might have shared on nursing now simply said: oh you know it is just his age, instead of: well, if you stopped nursing you would not have this problem.

    I know there are many out there who say that by being open about it society's attitude towards nursing will change. I am not convinced. People who oppose nursing beyond 6 months in my experience do not look for genuine exchange of ideas, they are simply put off by it. most I met are opposed to it on an emotional level and not interested to change their mind. And it makes sense, if you weaned your child with 3 or 4 montsh because MIL told you to, seeing someone nurse their 2yr old will make you feel bad, and defensive.

    when he was three I actually had a very bad experience when he asked to nurse when i picked him up from day care and another mom ridiculed him for it. This was nasty for both him and me and he actually stopped talking about it then (up to that point he sometimes hd told people about it).

    Now he is four and the only people who know are my husband and my mom and this is just fine with me.
    Last edited by @llli*mammi; February 18th, 2013 at 05:51 PM.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,860

    Default Re: beginning to feel insecure with nursing...

    I think a lot of moms who are nursing older toddlers are in the closet about it. Sometimes it's not intentional, but simply a feature of having a toddler: most busy toddlers no longer nurse in public, and most people will assume your child is weaned, so it just stops coming up as a topic of conversation.

    Weaning from a paci... I know some people have "bye-bye paci" parties or "plant the paci in the garden" events or "give the pacis to the new baby down the street" ceremonies, in order to make it positive and mark the transition. Then when the kid says "Wah, I want my Nuk!" you can respond "we don't have them anymore, remember? We already had the party!"
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    141

    Default Re: beginning to feel insecure with nursing...

    I say who cares if youre still breastfeeding! I am sure there are plenty who either still are BF their toddler or wish they were. Besides it isnt anybodys business how you rear your babies and if they dont have the decency to be supportive they can kiss your arse! Tehehe. As for a paci. My babygirl who is also two recently just stopped using them during the day and one day we "lost" it and she had to go to bed without one. She cried a little but eventually just went to sleep and the next morning when she woke up she didnt remember to ask for it. Lol. Sneaky mummy and daddy.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    29

    Default Re: beginning to feel insecure with nursing...

    I'm also nursing my 2 year old. I know how you feel, one of the playgroups we were still nursing in December. The group just opened back up this month and I will not nurse there anymore. I've had to explaine to her before we go that we don't have nums nums there, we are there to play and we can wait till get home. It has been working the couple of times we've been, even though she still asks, I just remind her what we talked about. Even before going she told me " no nums nums", so she knows! But yes I feel people/ family don't understand. As for the paci no advice, my daughter never took one.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    103

    Default Re: beginning to feel insecure with nursing...

    thanks ladies for sharing your thoughts and feelings. it's nice to have the re-assurance that i am not the only one nursing a 2 year old. i am secure and confident that i am doing the right thing for me and my baby, i know that culturally i am not the norm for an american but i am okay with that. i will keep my business to myself, unless of course someone asks or speaks poorly of a woman who practices "extended breastfeeding". then my jersey girl will come out. happy nursing
    mom to ds daniel 12/16/09 and ben 2/27/11

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