Feeling ashamed about this...

[@llli*joe.s.mom]

Hi Mama! Have you read about D-MER? Some women feel depressed and anxious when they nurse due to the hormones. What you are describing sounds like it could be a form of this - shame and disgust are symptoms of anxiety. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dysphoric_milk_ejection_reflex

[@llli*mammi]

tallmadre, have you tried reading? I found that it has helped me massively over the years, and especially in the difficult times, until he was about 2 years. I still do it on occasion when he wants to nurse and I cant bear it.

I did not have your specific problem but rather that I could not stop thinking of horrible things happening to babies (if I read anything in the paper or heard anything or even stuff my mother had told me about her childhood in wwII) and it drove me potty to sit quietly and have only my own thoughts turning circles in my mind and dwellig on nasty stuff. So i began to read (always having been a voracious reader) and it really helped me so much to distract my mind. I chose light readng where it would not matter to be interrupted. Books work easier than magazines because of holding them.

[@llli*tallmadre]

Hi Joe's mom,

I have read about DMER, but I had the impression that it was more momentary than what I'm experiencing.

mammi, I do sometimes read, too. And it does help.

[@llli*debbers]

debbers,
I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who experiences this. The thing is, though, that it doesn't make me want sex with my husband. It's like it's the opposite. I wish I could try to turn it around, but I haven't been able to do that yet.

That's understandable. At least you know you're not alone by a long shot. Incidentally I get the same sensation sometimes when I'm about to pump or when I'm pumping at work. I guess that's how I knew it had to be a hormone release!

[@llli*joe.s.mom]

When I nurse, sometimes I get nice feelings, sometimes I get almost shooting anxiety, which often manifests in feeling of shame or self-blame. Depending on my state overall (I have had PPD or postpartum anxiety) it can be more or less long lasting? When I had PPD, I had noticeably anxious or shameful feelings nursing. When that cleared up, it seemed to get better?

[@llli*labgeekmomma]

Can you try a simple thing, and you arent out anything if it doesn't work. When you feel those feelings say "That's an interesting point of view, I have that point of view." Pause for a few seconds and say it 3-5 times.

[@llli*zackndelaneysmama]

I didnt have the feeings when my DD was a newborn either. It kicked in as se got older, I swear it's when she was able to suck hard lol. For me they dont usually last the whole time, the sensation goes away a few minutes in. I kind of just think about things that are the least sexiest possible things lol. WORD OF ADVICE...Don't read 50 shades of grey while your little is latched LOL!!

[@llli*mymp]

Wow... yes, I feel this too at times... We are all sexual beings anyway right?
The confusion is from when we think that sex is dirty... or perverted. Looks like there is so much more to our sexuality than we think we know...
Personally, nipple stimulation was for me very pleasurable before having my baby so when I started bfing and noticed some of the sensation was there, i didnt think too much of it. Funny, my DD when sucking on one nipple, would even touch/squeeze the other one... which makes me laugh sometimes.
Yes, no need to feel ashamed about any of it.... :-)

[@llli*tallmadre]

Mymp, I don't look at sex as dirty or perverted, that's the thing. I'm a very sex-positive person. My point in this thread is that I'm experiencing very irrational emotions in reaction to this.

Update: I visited my OB/GYN and got a prescription for birth control pills--Micronor. Problem is that she said to expect it to take three months to help stabilize any symptoms related to my menstrual cycle. So now I'm uncertain that I want to take it. she's 10 months old now. I have no desire to keep breastfeeding indefinitely and was planning to start looking at weaning options once we got past the year mark. I wanted to wean slowly, but I don't plan on doing this indefiintely. I feel like waiting three months won't give me much relief. Anyone else have experience with this?

[@llli*mommal]

Maybe the mini-pill would take 3 months for complete effectiveness, but what if it gave you a certain percentage of relief right now? I don't think I'd be afraid to try it, in your shoes.