Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 22

Thread: Feeling ashamed about this...

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,984

    Default Re: Feeling ashamed about this...

    Hi Mama! Have you read about D-MER? Some women feel depressed and anxious when they nurse due to the hormones. What you are describing sounds like it could be a form of this - shame and disgust are symptoms of anxiety. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dysphoric_milk_ejection_reflex


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    240

    Default Re: Feeling ashamed about this...

    tallmadre, have you tried reading? I found that it has helped me massively over the years, and especially in the difficult times, until he was about 2 years. I still do it on occasion when he wants to nurse and I cant bear it.

    I did not have your specific problem but rather that I could not stop thinking of horrible things happening to babies (if I read anything in the paper or heard anything or even stuff my mother had told me about her childhood in wwII) and it drove me potty to sit quietly and have only my own thoughts turning circles in my mind and dwellig on nasty stuff. So i began to read (always having been a voracious reader) and it really helped me so much to distract my mind. I chose light readng where it would not matter to be interrupted. Books work easier than magazines because of holding them.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    138

    Default Re: Feeling ashamed about this...

    Hi Joe's mom,

    I have read about DMER, but I had the impression that it was more momentary than what I'm experiencing.

    mammi, I do sometimes read, too. And it does help.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Nashville, TN
    Posts
    524

    Default Re: Feeling ashamed about this...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*tallmadre View Post
    debbers,
    I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who experiences this. The thing is, though, that it doesn't make me want sex with my husband. It's like it's the opposite. I wish I could try to turn it around, but I haven't been able to do that yet.
    That's understandable. At least you know you're not alone by a long shot. Incidentally I get the same sensation sometimes when I'm about to pump or when I'm pumping at work. I guess that's how I knew it had to be a hormone release!
    1st time mom over 40 to Alex(andra) b: 7/14/12

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,984

    Default Re: Feeling ashamed about this...

    When I nurse, sometimes I get nice feelings, sometimes I get almost shooting anxiety, which often manifests in feeling of shame or self-blame. Depending on my state overall (I have had PPD or postpartum anxiety) it can be more or less long lasting? When I had PPD, I had noticeably anxious or shameful feelings nursing. When that cleared up, it seemed to get better?


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    iowa
    Posts
    30

    Default Re: Feeling ashamed about this...

    Can you try a simple thing, and you arent out anything if it doesn't work. When you feel those feelings say "That's an interesting point of view, I have that point of view." Pause for a few seconds and say it 3-5 times.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    North Beach, Maryland
    Posts
    45

    Default Re: Feeling ashamed about this...

    I didnt have the feeings when my DD was a newborn either. It kicked in as se got older, I swear it's when she was able to suck hard lol. For me they dont usually last the whole time, the sensation goes away a few minutes in. I kind of just think about things that are the least sexiest possible things lol. WORD OF ADVICE...Don't read 50 shades of grey while your little is latched LOL!!

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Romania
    Posts
    20

    Default Re: Feeling ashamed about this...

    Wow... yes, I feel this too at times... We are all sexual beings anyway right?
    The confusion is from when we think that sex is dirty... or perverted. Looks like there is so much more to our sexuality than we think we know...
    Personally, nipple stimulation was for me very pleasurable before having my baby so when I started bfing and noticed some of the sensation was there, i didnt think too much of it. Funny, my DD when sucking on one nipple, would even touch/squeeze the other one... which makes me laugh sometimes.
    Yes, no need to feel ashamed about any of it.... :-)

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    138

    Default Re: Feeling ashamed about this...

    Mymp, I don't look at sex as dirty or perverted, that's the thing. I'm a very sex-positive person. My point in this thread is that I'm experiencing very irrational emotions in reaction to this.

    Update: I visited my OB/GYN and got a prescription for birth control pills--Micronor. Problem is that she said to expect it to take three months to help stabilize any symptoms related to my menstrual cycle. So now I'm uncertain that I want to take it. she's 10 months old now. I have no desire to keep breastfeeding indefinitely and was planning to start looking at weaning options once we got past the year mark. I wanted to wean slowly, but I don't plan on doing this indefiintely. I feel like waiting three months won't give me much relief. Anyone else have experience with this?

  10. #20
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,930

    Default Re: Feeling ashamed about this...

    Maybe the mini-pill would take 3 months for complete effectiveness, but what if it gave you a certain percentage of relief right now? I don't think I'd be afraid to try it, in your shoes.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •