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Thread: Super long and frustrating story

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    5,338

    Default Re: Super long and frustrating story

    I agree your wife may be experiencing more than just a mild case of the baby blues. Just fyi, mom absolutley can be treated for depression-even medication- without weaning.

    on the other hand, when I was pumping after every nursing session with a poorly latching baby, and ready to pass out with exhaustion and frustration in the first few weeks with my oldest, I did some major crying as well, and I was fine once breastfeeding started going well.

    Please see my pp about taking a break. if the sns is not working and adding to the frustration, I suggest stop using it for a bit. Will baby nurse without the sns?
    Right now my wife's milk supply seems to be doing better and better. She's getting around 2oz per pumping session and we've stashed about 8oz or so in the fridge, which means we are staying ahead of our baby's feeding schedule and are off formula now. Finally!
    this is truly fantastic. Your wife makes enough milk, that is 1/2 the battle won. If baby will nurse well enough to get milk, you can do away with everything else and just nurse. Weak suck or no, you are almost there!

    But then on the boob my wife reports a very weak suck, almost just like a lick. It seems like baby is just unable to latch fully (only takes in just a bit more than the nipple), and then proceeds to feebly suckle.
    Nursing with a good latch does not feel like when baby sucks on a finger. That would hurt! A good latch and suck feels like a gentle tugging. Also a good latch may look 'shallow' and still be good. Basically if baby is getting enough milk and it does not hurt, its a good latch. At this age many babies take 30 minutes or more per nursing session and nurse 10-12 times OR MORE a day.

    Was there a before and after nursing weight check done without the sns?

    Dr. Jack Newman has some very good information sheets and videos on using a lactation aid (like the sns) finger feeding, and also how to observe for swallowing etc. http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=...tpage&Itemid=1

    I also think this is a helpful article. It's important to know what is normal in terms of behavior in these early days. http://kellymom.com/bf/normal/newborn-nursing/

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    13

    Default Re: Super long and frustrating story

    I don't have any experience with an SNS. However, my husband and I have a lot of experience with the weak suck + baby refusing to stay awake. We were pretty much at battle stations at every nursing session. Added two cents: I held baby in cross cradle with a nursing pillow under her; if she was on my left breast, I used my left hand to do breast compressions. By doing this, I felt like she got more milk and started to get the hang of it a little better.

    I remember being very surprised a few weeks into it that I actually felt my milk letting down as a result of her sucking. Up until then, her suck was so weak that I wasn't stimulated enough to properly let down (or at least I could tell that I was letting down). By doing rhythmic breast compressions, I was able to get a little more milk into her. She then would suck a little better, which would cause me to let down, which would give her more milk, which would make her suck a little more. We seemed to get into a better cycle with it. The compressions were very important for us in the early weeks.

    Also it was critical that I put her to the breast very, very often -- not just when she showed hunger cues (which was infrequent). She seemed to fall asleep so often that the only way I felt we were making any progress (which was very important for me in terms of caring for her but also psychologically) was changing the concept from "meals" to "snacks." In my head: 1/10 of an ounce here. 1/2 once there. 1 once. 3/4 ounce. Etc. - all day long. You can't know how much baby is taking (excepting the SNS), but you can try to make "a nip" here, "a nip" there into a success for you and your wife. Obviously, you have to make sure you offer plenty of times during the day to make sure baby's getting enough overall.

    Let us all know how you three are getting along!
    *Sweet baby girl born November 2011*

  3. #13

    Default Re: Super long and frustrating story

    Our baby is 2 wks + 1 day old today.

    I've considered the possibility that my wife may have PPD. Although there are also plenty of times during the day, when things are going well, that she seems to be just fine.

    on the other hand, when I was pumping after every nursing session with a poorly latching baby, and ready to pass out with exhaustion and frustration in the first few weeks with my oldest, I did some major crying as well, and I was fine once breastfeeding started going well.
    I think that's probably what's going on. Frustration + exhaustion + sleep deprivation.

    Today was just a strange day. We agreed that she should abandon the SNS for today, and just do paced bottle feeding and pumping, especially since I'd be at work all day and wouldn't be available to help. For whatever reason today, baby has been very lethargic and only taking 0.5-1.0 oz per feed, and then falling asleep and not re-accepting the bottle. (She used to take around 2.0 oz per feed.) Also, as luck would have it, she would instantly wake up, screaming and kicking whenever my wife decided to try to pump. This understandably has driven my wife crazy all day today. Suffice to say morale is quite low in this home, once again. ;(

    We did purchase a digital scale and plan to do before and after weights. We discussed that one day this weekend, when I'll be home, we'll try to do breastfeeding only, no bottles/SNS/fingerfeeds, and see how far we get. We'll use the scale to try to get an idea of how much she's taking in and count the diapers as well. I agree with the previous poster that repeated attempts at the breast is probably the way to go, except that my wife loses motivation quickly, gets frustrated, and then has no desire to try again.

    I took the baby as soon as I got home and let my wife nap for the past few hours, hopefully things will be looking up when she awakens! Thanks everyone for all the advice so far. Keep the ideas coming!

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    miles from nowhere
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    11,108

    Default Re: Super long and frustrating story

    You've gotten some great advice so far and your plan for moving ahead sounds good. I just wanted to chime in with some kudos for being such a supportive partner and a great daddy. Keep encouraging her. She can do this. It DOES get easier.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Austin, TX
    Posts
    465

    Default Re: Super long and frustrating story

    I have no technical support suggestions to offer, but I just want to say that I've been following your thread and hoping for the best for you & your wife & baby. Kudos to you for giving her so much support with the baby and feedings, giving her time to sleep, and coming to these boards for ideas and advice. In my personal experience, although we didn't face hurdles quite so big, we still had to troubleshoot some issues in the beginning, and I never would have been able to stick with it had it not been for my husband shouldering the load with everything else (other aspects of baby care, chores around the house, etc) in addition to the emotional encouragement he provided with breastfeeding. So even though you might not realize how big a role you are playing in all of this (and even though you might not get much thanks for it--yet), you are being an amazing partner. Keep it up daddy I will be thinking of you guys.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,338

    Default Re: Super long and frustrating story

    baby has been very lethargic and only taking 0.5-1.0 oz per feed, and then falling asleep and not re-accepting the bottle. (She used to take around 2.0 oz per feed.)
    How is babies output (esp. poops?) Newborn babies sleep a tremendous amopunt of time, but "Lethargic" is a scary word to me.

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