Re: Unhappy with choices - long post
Welcome to the forum and congratulations on the new baby, and on making it to 14 weeks of nursing! The first few weeks are so exhausting, even when everything is going perfectly, and it's wonderful that you continued to breastfeed part-time. A lot of moms simply throw in the towel, and you didn't!
The first thing to know about breastfeeding is that it doesn't have to be all or nothing. Even if you are "just" combination feeding, your milk is giving your baby huge health benefits. So if you simply decide that nursing a couple of times a day is what is right for you, you are still doing the right thing.
The second thing to know about breastfeeding is that supply can be increased at any time. It is not too late for you to get a full supply. It might not be easy, but I don't think it's going to be "hell." And you can do it without the pump, simply by nursing more. The way I would do it would be to nurse first, and then offer a small bottle (say 2 oz), and then nurse at the conclusion of the feeding (so that baby associates that feeling of being full, comfortable, and satisfied with the breast rather than the bottle). The more you nurse, the faster you'll be able to wean from the formula. And FTR, this is how my mom got her supply back from the grave after 3 months of not being allowed to nurse.
Now, if you want to go a little faster, you can use the pump. The way milk supply works is that supply = demand. The more demand you give your body, the more frequently and completely you empty the breast, the faster your supply will increase. So if you decide you want to throw a few pumping sessions in, in addition to nursing, I think you will see a positive effect. But I can totally understand not wanting to- pumping is annoying! Using the best possible pump is sometimes a lot less so- if you can get your hands on a top-of-the-line consumer model or, better yet, a hospital-grade rental, you should be able to get more milk in less time.
I'm really sorry your husband isn't being more supportive. It's pretty common for guys to feel "at a loss how to help" when it comes to nursing. Often they want to help you by feeding the baby, not realizing that feeding the baby with a bottle isn't really helping. It's just screwing up breastfeeding, making you a slave to a pump... A guy who really wants to be helpful will be making meals (or buying take-out), sweeping the floor, diapering the baby, fetching you snacks and bottles of water, doing laundry... In short, everything EXCEPT feeding the baby! And it isn't too late to have your husband doing all those fetch/carry/clean tasks, while you get breastfeeding going again. My suggestion is to not make it negotiable. Don't ask your husband if he will, pretty please, help you while you put more effort into nursing. Inform him that you plan to nurse the baby a lot more, and that while you are focusing on that, you will need his help when it comes to other household tasks.
We will be happy to support you every step of the way, and you really can do this!!! No need to feel jealous of the nursing mums. You are one of them.
Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"