Desperately Need some encouragement

[@llli*lllsmum]

Hi, have been a regular lurker here for the past 8 months.got over the initial hiccups of weight loss requiring supplementation with formula and a major nursing strike.
Currently Dd is 8 months
Was born at 4 lbs and 13 oz term
Lost 13% of weight and regained birth weight by 1& 1/2 months required formula initially then exclusively bf.
Then there was steady increase in weight baring 3rd month where nursing strike coupled with flu for both.at 6 months was 14lbs and 1.7 oz. started solids initially spoon then she rejected so blw.
The weight gain was poor between 6 th and 7th month so increased her bf, increased milk,doing breast compressions as per email advice from dr jack Newman. Currently weight at 8 months is 15lbs and 13 oz. weight gain around 70 Gm per week. She is maintaining at 15 th centime in who chart, steadily , height at 50 th centile increasing steadily head circumference increasing steadily 15 th centile. She is very active pulling to stand crawling all over.we cosleep feed at night
My concerns are:
1.)That she is rather small for age ( I myself am small was 4 lbs at my birth plus race wise Indian )
She is on the 50 th centile of our charts
2.) highly distractible keep offering her to feed every hour she refuses too scared to force feel may trigger of nursing strike again

3.) don't know how to make her gain more weight tired of seeing other babies big formula and solid fed
4.) I feel that nursing her and her weight have taken over my life and have become obsevvive
Ped not too concerned
Tried spoon feeding her takes two to three then refuses
Feed between 12 to 14 times a day minimum 10
I need some help from you experienced mamma out there

[@llli*still.here]

I totally understand after your rough start why you are nervous about her weight. But 15%ile is not "rather small," it jsut means she's bigger than 15% of other babies her age. Anything from 1-99%ile is in the normal range. Even if your baby were 5%ile, I'd be telling you not to be concerned (unless he were 95%ile last month- big drops are what doctors look out for). And it is an important detail that she is 50%ile when you look at charts for babies of the same ethnicity.

Relax. Your baby is fine. I think you are absolutely right about #4 up there. But the good news is that you are the one that can change that. Step one is stop trying to get her to eat every hour. Nursing every hour is not a typical pattern for a baby this age, so it's not surprising or concerning that she refuses to nurse every hour. Watch her, see when she indicates she is hungry. Feed her then. Step two, stop comparing her to other babies. She's not other babies, she's your baby, and as long as she's happy, healthy, and meeting milestones, she's perfect just the way she is.

It is totally normal for her to not be more interested in solid foods at the moment. And if you are concerned about her weight (which you shouldn't be at this point) it's better for her to nurse than to eat solids, as the nutritional value of milk goes far beyond anything she can get from solid foods. Until one year, her primary source of nutrition should be breast milk. A few spoonfuls of food a couple times a day is not an abnormal pattern for an 8 month old.

It's also possible she just doesn't like eating from a spoon. Many babies don't. Have you tried giving her finger foods she can pick up and feed herself? Some babies prefer to eat that way and it is complementary to breastfeeding because they can regulate their own intake, like they do when they are nursing.

[@llli*mommal]

I don't see a reason to worry. If she's 15th %ile for weight and head circumference, and 50th %ile for height, then she's not particularly tiny. And her ethnicity does make a difference- I think Asian babies tend to be smaller, on average, than Causasian ones.

Most importantly, you're nursing her frequently both day and night. Unrestricted access to the breast is key for 8 month-olds, who are still almost entirely dependent on mom's milk for nutrition. At this point, solids are just for fun with new tastes, textures, and motor skills. They aren't necessary for nutrition. So it's very normal for 8 month-olds to take a taste or two from the spoon and then refuse to eat any more. One thing you could do, if you're concerned- and again, I don't think you should be!- is to offer more high-calorie solids (whole-milk yogurt, avocado, beans) and add some olive oil or coconut oil to the low-calorie ones (vegetables, fruits). And maybe add a dropper of baby vitamins once a day.

Really, I don't think you need to worry!

[@llli*lehall]

I'm currently reading _How to get your child to eat...but not too much_ and it talks about this sort of anxiety and how to deal with it. It seems that your baby does not have a weight or growth problem. But even if your child did have a weight problem, the best thing to do would be to keep offering but let your little one decide whether and how much to eat. Babies are really pretty good at self-regulating intake to what they need. If we mess with the process by trying to force or cajole they can resist and end up eating less.

[@llli*lllsmum]

Thanks a lot for the positive replies . It's just that after the initial weight loss she was only 4 lbs and 3 oz,and all skin and bones and dehydrated. It took a lot of effort to get her back thru bf . We don't have ibclc here so personally read up a lot. That fear is hard to let go. Also here in india it is the cultural norm to feed the baby it is considered neglect to let baby eat on its own. But my dd hates being fed prefers self feeding. I let her do it but find it difficult to accept it ESP since other kids I see around her age seem to eat x amount every x hours and I 'm looked as if I don't bother much bout her , her being petite adds to it. So I feel very guilty that I'm not doing enough on my part, even though I know IMp of breast feed and that solids r just for experience.some days she is great and I worry that she will not bf some days she hardly eats and I worry bout that.
Also wonder if she would ever think of solids as food and not fun
Hopefully I am able to let go of my fears as common sense prevails ans understand that dd will not starve herself and that my job is to offer her.
Thanks a lot for all your support though been a lurker managed to feed her so long through this forum .

[@llli*mommal]

That fear is hard to let go.

It really is.

I think it's the cultural norm everywhere to spoon-feed babies. I mean, I assumed that's how babies were fed until I had a baby who wouldn't take food off the spoon. The spoon would approach her lips and then she would either purse her mouth, turn her head away, or bat the spoon and send it flying!