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Thread: yes she is 4......

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Hamiton, ON
    Posts
    1

    Default yes she is 4......

    I am feeling very alone and secretive about the fact my 4 year old, (49months) still nurses.

    Although I started out believing I would only nurse for less than a year, I slowly realized Child lead weaning was logical to me, (along with most attachment parenting ways).

    She basically only nurses at night, (occasionally during the day if she is sick). I am so embarrassed the odd time we are out and she asks for "milkie".

    I believe its only abnormal because "society" has labelled it that way. I know anthropologically, (is that a word, ), it is appropriate. and deep inside I am OK with it but I still feel this way.

    Is there anyone out there in a similar situation or was at some point? Has anyone nursed for an extended time that led to a negative outcome for the child?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    West Salem, Ohio
    Posts
    176

    Default Re: yes she is 4......

    I knew a girl in school who would nurse after getting home from kindergarten. I had no idea until after high school when the topic came up and my mom mentioned it. She was normal and seemed well rounded to me She was a couple years younger than me but we were friends for a long time...

    Hope this helps. My little one just turned one, so we aren't close to that point yet Although it seems like she will be 4 before I know it
    Mother of 3 beautiful girls, and expecting baby number 4 in July

    Elisabeth ~ 9/25/07
    Eliana ~ 1/08/09
    Elivia ~ 1/22/12 ~ EBF

    with all 3 still

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,949

    Default Re: yes she is 4......

    My DD is turning 4 in a few months, and she still nurses. It is mainly at sleepy times or when she is sick. I am at the point now that I feel she will wean in due time, when she matures a bit more. It isnt a huge issue for us as she does it infrequently and never in public or infront of others. So whats the harm? She truley loves it still and its such a source of comfort for her.

    Hang in there you are doing great by your girl!
    Mommy of 4,
    3 who I watch over, 1 who watches over all of us

    J- 8/20/05 pumped breastmilk for 11 months due to his cleft lip and palate!

    M- 10/17/07 my precious baby lives forever in her mommys heart

    M- 3/31/09 my special gift, she helps heal her mommy and daddys heart. Nursed for 4 years and 10 days, self weaned the day her baby brother was born!

    E-, new little miracle born 4/11/13, my BIG baby! Born 8.6 at 38 weeks. At 9 weeks nearly 17lbs, at 12 weeks nearly 20lbs, at 6 months nearly 23lbs, at 8 months nearly 25lbs and all from BREASTMILK


  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,996

    Default Re: yes she is 4......

    I think a lot of people who nurse their older children do feel secretive about it. You'd have to be pretty thick-skinned to not let broadly held opinions about a "proper" age of weaning to affect you.

    The one person I know IRL who nursed her child through her fourth year doesn't seem to have had any negative outcomes from that- except that the mom did get pretty tired of nursing by the end!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    1,710

    Default Re: yes she is 4......

    My close friend nursed her child until 4 years. I have to admit I thought it a bit odd at the time, but then I nursed one of mine until 3.

    Another of my friends (a family friend) was nursed herself until she was 6!

    There are plenty of cultures in which this is totally the norm. I can understand your feeling alone and secretive, but there are lots of other moms doing similar things behind closed doors. Is your partner (if there is one in the picture) supportive at least?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,447

    Default Re: yes she is 4......

    What kind of negative outcome are you looking for? I nursed my son until he was 4.5 years old. And we didn't do it out in public. But we didn't lie about the fact the we did it. We had a weaning party where all his friends came. He was very proud of stopping on his own.

    Way too lazy for formula

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    53

    Default Re: yes she is 4......

    I was nursed until I was about 4.5 years. I think it was a positive influence on my llife! (And no I don't actually remember the act of nursing). I'm still very close with my mom.
    Married to wonderful husband Chris - 2004.

    Finally, after 8 years of trying, we were blessed with a beautiful Tristan - Oct 2012

    Proud of my bonus son Drake - Oct, 2000

    We're having so much fun

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,949

    Default Re: yes she is 4......

    YIPPEE!!! I can see that nursing DD until she is ready is helping her be secure and indapendant. I hope when she is bigger she has fond memories of either nursing or just feeling very close to me!

    THat is a lot of what keeps me going when she is nursing and it is extremely painful (I am 27 weeks preg).
    Mommy of 4,
    3 who I watch over, 1 who watches over all of us

    J- 8/20/05 pumped breastmilk for 11 months due to his cleft lip and palate!

    M- 10/17/07 my precious baby lives forever in her mommys heart

    M- 3/31/09 my special gift, she helps heal her mommy and daddys heart. Nursed for 4 years and 10 days, self weaned the day her baby brother was born!

    E-, new little miracle born 4/11/13, my BIG baby! Born 8.6 at 38 weeks. At 9 weeks nearly 17lbs, at 12 weeks nearly 20lbs, at 6 months nearly 23lbs, at 8 months nearly 25lbs and all from BREASTMILK


  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    240

    Default Re: yes she is 4......

    I am feeling very alone and secretive about the fact my 4 year old, (49months) still nurses.

    Although I started out believing I would only nurse for less than a year, I slowly realized Child lead weaning was logical to me, (along with most attachment parenting ways).

    She basically only nurses at night, (occasionally during the day if she is sick). I am so embarrassed the odd time we are out and she asks for "milkie".

    I believe its only abnormal because "society" has labelled it that way. I know anthropologically, (is that a word, ), it is appropriate. and deep inside I am OK with it but I still feel this way.

    Is there anyone out there in a similar situation or was at some point? Has anyone nursed for an extended time that led to a negative outcome for the child?

    I still nurse my son, he is 4 years and 3 months. And yes, it is a "secret" (but I do not tell my son it is a secret, but he just does nto talk about it as far as I am aware), and I have stopped mentioning it to anyone as the comments I got were just so uselss and clueless i pretty muched stopped sharing with anyone except by husband about it when he was about 3. I had already stopped NIP when he was 2.

    Recently he moved to his own bed, and he still nurses to sleep most nights, and in addiiton sometimes when he wakes at night but this is maybe once a week. I am always surprised there is still milk, I ask him sometimes and he always says yes, but he mostly only now uses the left breast, I think right one has dried up. He never asks at all during the day anymore, has not since he was about three, I think this is due to a rather negative experience we had when he started day care at age 3 - he asked for bf in the changing room and another mum caught onto what he wanted (despite that I had taught him to use an innocent term) and ridiculed him (not me but him, it was awful!).

    I can totally relate to keeping it secret, and since that experience where he was ridiculed and shamed, I made it a point to keep it so, to protect him.

    Whilst I have no scientific evidence I am certain it does not harm him as long as he is doing it because he wants to, and not me pushing it onto him. I had never planned to bf more than 6 months. But I have no regrets we ontinue so long and I am happy to let him nurse as long as he wants to but hope also that it is not much more than 5 years because I do get tired of it sometimes and also tired of the secrecy. I should add that I do not offer it anymore, as I do get tired of it some days and so I have since about 6months stopped offering but do not refuse.

    i have sometimes whished for a sub forum here for nursing older children - let's say 36 months plus. Because the needs are so very differnt from 12months + or even 24 months + but may be there would not be enough interest?
    Last edited by @llli*mammi; January 26th, 2013 at 08:42 PM. Reason: forgetfulness

  10. #10

    Default Re: yes she is 4......

    My 3 year old still nurses at bedtime and when she wakes up. I do not do it in public but, like you I do not hide it. I have gotten a few comments from family members but i shut that down pretty quickly. I am also still nursing my 17 month old. I love nursing my kids but I have been doing it for 3 years straight so I do wish for a break from time to time. My girls are both very healthy & happy. My 3 yr old only needs to nurse for a minute or so to be happy so I know part of it is just her way of being reassured and she tells me that it tastes good too. ;-)

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