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Thread: How did weaning affect your relationship with your child?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Northern CA
    Posts
    548

    Default How did weaning affect your relationship with your child?

    DD is 2.5 years old and has been very attached to me since day one. She will tolerate being left with DH and my mom only. If she is with anyone else she cries non-stop.When she is with DH and my mom she asks about me several times an hour. Specifically she asks, "where's mommy, where's nursies?" She only nurses three times a day when we are together: when she wakes up, before nap and at bedtime. When we are together as a family, she is constantly up my butt all day long. She loves DH, but will not let him carry her or do anything for her. I am the one to change her diapers, tie her shoes, etc.... Her attachment is interfering with my relationship with DS and I am already worried about preschool next fall. I am wondering if weaning would help loosen her attachment to me. DS weaned easily at 17 months, so this is new territory for me. For those of you who have weaned an older toddler, how did it affect your relationship with your child?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,949

    Default Re: How did weaning affect your relationship with your child

    My DD was much more attached at 2 1/2 then she is at 3 1/2, I believe it just comes with maturity. At 2 1/2 she was still nursing a lot, still didnt want to be left with anyone but me, still super clingy. One year later, she is much more indapendant, she nurses only about 2-3x and usually around bed and nap time. She can be left with a bunch of different people, she goes to pre school and is very indapendant, secure little girl.

    As for her wanting YOU to do everything, thats normal. What we did in that case was I just went out. I would go and she would have to let DH help her. Eventually, she would go to him as well. Now, she loves to go out with Daddy, he takes her to a music class weekly, they go to the store, she is daddys little helper. At first she would protest, but once she got used to it she was loving her daddy time.

    IM no expert, but with the relationship that she has with you that you have described, I would think it would affect her negatively to wean now.

    Make some other changes, like you going out even if its to the store, and leave her with DH. Let him take a role, dont always do everything for her. Let her protest that but she will get over it. My DDis super stubborn, but she even got over it. You will see major changes as she matures, she is still sooo young. It will happen!!
    Mommy of 4,
    3 who I watch over, 1 who watches over all of us

    J- 8/20/05 pumped breastmilk for 11 months due to his cleft lip and palate!

    M- 10/17/07 my precious baby lives forever in her mommys heart

    M- 3/31/09 my special gift, she helps heal her mommy and daddys heart. Nursed for 4 years and 10 days, self weaned the day her baby brother was born!

    E-, new little miracle born 4/11/13, my BIG baby! Born 8.6 at 38 weeks. At 9 weeks nearly 17lbs, at 12 weeks nearly 20lbs, at 6 months nearly 23lbs, at 8 months nearly 25lbs and all from BREASTMILK


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,467

    Default Re: How did weaning affect your relationship with your child

    Still up my butt. I think that's normal and I wouldn't worry about preschool. That tends to handle itself. Really what it meant was one less tool on my parenting arsenal. One less way for us to make up when things get tense. In fact I am not sure he wants to be held or cuddled less. OR that he has any less affection for my breasts. He just no longer puts them in his mouth. But he still wants to lay on them and still puts his hand down my top if he is feeling anxious....I think attached kids stay attached. They become more independent. My son has no issue going with other people but when we are together he wants to be with me. And he doesn't have a sibling but I will tell you he gets very jealous of my relationship with his dog.

    Way too lazy for formula

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    399

    Default Re: How did weaning affect your relationship with your child

    So, when we went through a similar phase with my older DS where he wanted me to do everything for him (at a similar age) at the exclusion of my DH, it made everyone somewhat crazy -- me, my husband, etc. Our solution (we are sort of tough love people sometimes) was that sometimes DS got to pick who did things for him, and sometimes, he didn't. It wasn't up to him who tied his shoes -- whoever was available did it. It wasn't always met with smiles (and sometimes was met with tears and frustration) but it seemed to resolve it fairly quickly. Currently, my husband is now wrestling him into snow clothes, so I guess it's resolved.
    Ellen

    Mama-surgeon;
    DS Ethan 12/16/2008
    Breast fed/pumped 11 months as a surgical resident, 80 hours a week at work
    DS Abram Daniel 12/20/2012
    Feel like we've gotten a strong start

  5. #5

    Default Re: How did weaning affect your relationship with your child

    I think some kids are just simply high-needs kids. They aren't high-needs because they nurse well into preschool years. In fact, I would say that high-needs kids are more adaptable if they are nursed into preschool years. I would argue that weaning a high-needs mommy's girl would probably make her more clingy??

    This can be challenging. Good luck!

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