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Thread: Losing patience!!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    73

    Default Losing patience!!!

    I feel horrible to admit this but I think I'm reaching the end...I am 8 weeks pregnant and my nipples are becoming increasingly sore. I do feel as though my milk has been dwindling dispite my sons OBSESSION to nurse even more often than a new born. It has always been a struggle to nurse him nicely...I have always enjoyed it but he was always quite the gymnast and prankster (sticking his fingers in my mouth/nose/eyes/clavicle, sternum???). I have enjoyed nursing him all these 18 beautiful months but I feel so tired and achey as is and having the 20 minute nursing sessions every 20 minutes is way too intense for me esepcially because he has become extremely aggressive during our sessions and for some reason while he nurses i feel the morning sickness worse than ever. I feel sad to end our nursing relationship but I just feel so irritated while he nurses and I rarely find peace and love (except at the bed time nursing where he is thankfully more calm)...I have considered even putting him in daycare an extra two days so i dont have to nurse during the day. Am i horrible??? I want to gently wean but I tried the "don't offer, don't refuse" and its gotten me nowhere!!! I need suggestions that are gentle but quicker because I have ZERO interest in tandem nursing and I dont want a toddler who is jealous of his nursing baby sibling.... ADVICE PLEASE!!!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,653

    Default Re: Losing patience!!!

    Of course you're not horrible! Annoying nursing behavior and pregnancy-sore nipples are a rotten combination, and they can make even the most devoted mom feel like running for the hills.

    I think nursing limits are your friends here. A 20 minute nursing session is more than you can put up with, so let him know before he latches on that you're going to nurse until you count to 10/sing "Twinkle Twinkle"/the timer goes off/etc. Also, offer lots of snacks and beverages and get out of the house as much as possible. My kids always nursed more when hanging around the house, but in public they could go hours and hours without asking.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    73

    Default Re: Losing patience!!!

    Thanks...it definitely helps to be out and about but I just am so tired at this stage I pregnancy that in inclined to take a long time to get out, be out for a short time, and home after that for the most part. Is there any chance he will wean on his own? I don't want to force anything but I'm hoping that he will take theater with out me pushing (we all know that pressuring babies to do something NEVER works!)...will my milk change as the weeks go on?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,653

    Default Re: Losing patience!!!

    Definitely a chance that your LO will self-wean during your pregnancy. Most- about 80% IIRC- moms lose some or all supply during pregnancy, and that often means the toddler will lose interest in nursing. But if you're getting into your second trimester and not seeing a diminution of either supply or demand, it might be time to think about whether or not you want to be pushing your LO a little, and speeding up his weaning timetable.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    miles from nowhere
    Posts
    11,108

    Default Re: Losing patience!!!

    If you want to gently encourage weaning without pushing it, you can continue the don't offer-don't refuse and add in DISTRACTION. Like mommal said, getting out of the house is really good for this and once that first trimester fatigue has passed that will get easier. In the meantime, you can try to time your outings for 'usual' nursing times. You can also try offering special treats instead of nursing. Things he doesn't get often. It may sound like a bribe...and it is. But it works. And keep in mind he actually may be more hungry and thirsty if he's nursing less (or getting less milk when he does nurse). Make sure he has a cup of water available for when he's thirsty and maybe offer juice or something when he asks to nurse (if you do juice- even better if it's a rare treat for him).

    He is likely getting aggressive while nursing because your supply is diminishing. In the past, nursing more forcefully has worked to get more milk. He needs to learn it's not going to work now. When he gets too rough, unlatch him and tell him mommy is sore and he needs to be more gentle or he won't be allowed to nurse right now. Or if you feel that's more than he can grasp, just tell him to be gentle and if he isn't, unlatch him and put your breast away for a while. He'll get it.

    And this may not be something you want to hear, but...he will probably be jealous of his nursing younger sibling. Whether he weans now or not. Most kids are. And most ask to nurse again when they see the baby doing it. You can deal with that whatever way you are most comfortable with, but for me it made the most sense to say yes and let her try if she wanted to (I was about 20 weeks along the last time she nursed- she'd just turned 2). She laughed and put her mouth on my breast, but obviously didn't remember what to do. She just sat there for a second and then laughed and jumped up and ran away. She didn't actually want to nurse. She just wanted to know that if she really wanted to...I'd let her.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    652

    Default Re: Losing patience!!!

    I slowly and very gently prodded my son toward weaning when I got pregnant with my daughter. I just couldn't do being pregnant and nursing. I started giving him smoothies in place of nursing so he was not lacking nourishment, filled with whole yogurt, avocado and fruit. Like pp said he did ask to nurse when the baby was born even though he had weaned 7 months ago. He didn't remember how to nurse though and quickly got over that desire. Instead he would pretend nurse his bear when I fed the baby.
    Ds 9/09 nursed for 20 months

    Dd 12/11 nursing a toddler again

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