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Thread: Coming to an end

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    106

    Default Coming to an end

    I have decided to go ahead and wean DD. She is 13 1/2 months old now. She drinks cows milk good. There has ben a stomach bug going through or house and I have been sick since early this am. She hadn't nursed since around 2am. Mom is keeping her for me bc I have been so sick. Is it ok health wise to quit cold turkey? I am not engorged at all...actually feel very empty. How am I going to get past her nursing to sleep? DH took her this am when I got sick and said she kept feeling for my breast/trying to nurse with him. She wil not take a paci either. It is kinda bitter sweet but I am ready....I think.
    Mom to Kaleb born 7/24/08......clueless about BF and began to supplement. Supply was gone at 8 weeks.

    Sarah Beth born 11/29/11.....found this forum(lifesaver) and glad to say she has only had BM since day 1 and we are still going strong!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    19,913

    Default Re: Coming to an end

    Weaning cold turkey is generally advised against because it can set a mom up for engorgement, plugged ducts, or mastitis. But if you have been nursing pretty minimally up to this point- say just a couple of times a day- you have weaned gradually and you're probably good to drop both sessions at once. If you're nursing more like 4-5 times a day, or even more than that, I think you may need to throttle back on your plan and nurse or express if you start feeling overfull.

    Getting past nursing to sleep is really difficult, in my experience. For me, it's the feeding I keep the longest because it's the easiest way to get a toddler to bed. If you are certain you want to wean, you're just going to need to be tough and not nurse even if she's crying, tantruming, or staying up until all hours. Having someone else handle bedtime is often the best way to avd a nursing-related meltdown.

    I hope you feel better soon! And... Since it sounds like weaning is something you're not 100% ready for, just remember that you can change your mind. If you suddenly decide you'd like to nurse again, your LO may go right back to nursing. And we'll be happy to help with any challenges toddler nursing may bring!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3

    Default Re: Coming to an end

    The general LLL philosophy on weaning is that, whenever it happens, ideally, the process is gradual and done with love and respect for mom and baby. How gradually you (or your child) chooses to wean is going to depend on many factors. But for many reasons, abrupt weaning is often distressing to the mom and/or the child.
    I just got over the flu and there is no way I would have been wanting to make major decisions about important things when I was so ill. If you like, you can just take a 'wait and see what develops' approach.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    106

    Default Re: Coming to an end

    Well I went this am to pick her up and decided that if she really fussed to nurse, I would let her. She has only asked once at nap time and I told her no. She pouted just a second and layed her had down and went to sleep. She is handling it better than me lol. We will have to see how things go tonight. It is a good time to wean according to the signs on the farmer's almanac.
    Mom to Kaleb born 7/24/08......clueless about BF and began to supplement. Supply was gone at 8 weeks.

    Sarah Beth born 11/29/11.....found this forum(lifesaver) and glad to say she has only had BM since day 1 and we are still going strong!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    38

    Default Re: Coming to an end

    What does the farmer's almanac say about weaning?
    DS born 7/03/2012 Posterior tongue tie and upper lip tie lasered at 5 1/2 months. Nursing is going great now!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    106

    Default Re: Coming to an end

    You are supposed to start on the second day that the signs are in the thighs, and by the time the signs are back in the head they will be weaned. It is supposed to be easier on them like that. I know it sounds a little crazy but my husband and his dad try to go by that when they castrate bull calves {signs in feet) and they don't hardly bleed but at other time they bleed alot more.
    Mom to Kaleb born 7/24/08......clueless about BF and began to supplement. Supply was gone at 8 weeks.

    Sarah Beth born 11/29/11.....found this forum(lifesaver) and glad to say she has only had BM since day 1 and we are still going strong!

  7. #7

    Default Re: Coming to an end

    Some people believe there are certain days of each year that are best for weaning. I believe this started with ancient recommendations based on moon cycles of when it was the best time to safely wean farm animals, as weaning too early or in times of illness or low food supply could lead to the farmer losing young animals to death, and weaning too late would cut into profitability one way or another. This idea that there are specific dates it is best to wean has carried over to weaning human babies from the breast or bottle, although even the farmers almanac folks say weaning human infants is 'more complicated.' Here is the whole quote from Farmers Almanac website -

    "Weaning a human baby is a more complicated process, and every child is different. Though we do list best days to wean, and encourage parents to try the dates listed, we recommend that you do what’s best for you child when weaning him or her from a bottle."

    If you look at the Farmers Almanac calendar, the times that are supposedly best to wean happen several times a year, usually in the late winter or early spring. They also happen every year. So even if one holds with the FA dates, there is no particular reason to choose these specific dates, other than mom and baby being ready.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    19,913

    Default Re: Coming to an end

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*lllmeg View Post
    I believe this started with ancient recommendations based on moon cycles of when it was the best time to safely wean farm animals, as weaning too early or in times of illness or low food supply could lead to the farmer losing young animals to death, and weaning too late would cut into profitability one way or another.
    The "signs" recommendations are about maximizing profit in the animal husbandry industry, not about weaning human children. When a farmer removes a calf from its mom, he's trying to get maximum milk out of the cow and also make sure the cow doesn't get too attached to and protective of the calf, while also ensuring that the calf got enough colostrum and milk to survive.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    106

    Default Re: Coming to an end

    I thought things were going to be really easy. Last night, she fussed a little (>3 min) and went to sleep on her own. I couldn't believe out went that easy......then 2am rolled around and she woke up. She wouldn't go back to sleep so I got up with her and fixed her a bottle. She ate and went back to sleep but was restless the rest of the night. So I was wondering if it would be harder on her if we just nursed at night and not during the day? Would this be confusing to her? We haven't nursed since ~2am on fri and had a stomach virus during this time but I did however pump once yest to relieve some discomfort (no engorgement though). If I do this, will there be enough milk to satisfy her? My 4 year old, who also sleeps in or room keep screaming "Just nurse her!!"
    Mom to Kaleb born 7/24/08......clueless about BF and began to supplement. Supply was gone at 8 weeks.

    Sarah Beth born 11/29/11.....found this forum(lifesaver) and glad to say she has only had BM since day 1 and we are still going strong!

  10. #10

    Default Re: Coming to an end

    Ideally, weaning is a process and happens gradually, over weeks, months, or years, rather than an event that just happens one day. Weaning begins with the first bite of solid food, and does not end until the child no longer nurses at all.

    This gives mom lots of room to experiment with what process(es) will work best for her and her child. If you want to move weaning along more quickly, you can start eliminating typical nursing sessions, maybe one at a time, with a few days or weeks between each elimination. Certainly you could start with a daytime session if you prefer. I would not suggest starting with the most loved or regular session-start with one that will be easier to eliminate. If eliminating a particular session causes upset, you can add that one back in and try something else. How weaning happens-even 'natural' or 'child-led' weaning, differs tremendously from nursing pair to nursing pair.

    Other gradual weaning techniques are -
    don't offer, don't refuse
    delay sessions (child asks to nurse, you say yes, but later)
    distraction
    limit length of sessions
    offering alternatives (how about a snack instead?)

    I am sure there are more that I have forgotten. You may realize you are already doing some of these things. There are two excellent books on weaning that I suggest (one or the other, no need to read both)-How Weaning Happens and The Nursing Mothers Guide to Weaning. There are also several weaning articles on this website.

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