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Thread: HELP!!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    77

    Exclamation HELP!!!

    OK so here is the scoope. Over the last month I have been slowly weaning my almost 2 yr old. She moved out of our bed (we had to buy and new bed and it is too high and i can no longer attach her crib to it or have her safely sleep in it) and into her big girl bed just a few feet from our room. Oviously the first few nights were hard. She use to nurse to sleep and now that was no longer and option. So I would nurse her for a little while and then tuck her in and sing her songs until she fell asleep. Gradually I had her down to a quick nurse, kiss her good night and leave the room. She would play quietly until she fell asleep. I thought to myself, wow this is phenominal. Then right before Christmas she got and ear and throat infection. On to antibiotics she went and because her throat was so sore she wanted to nurse more frequently. I understood this compleatly. Just when things started to settle down she got a cold and then another ear infection (which she is currently on anitibiotics right now). As she's had more issues she has become more and more demanding about the amount she nurses. During the day she wants to do nothing but sit in her nursing chair and nurse all day. Anytime I try to distract her with playing, food or drink in a cool new cup she becomes hysterical. I will try and take her to another room all together and she will say "mommy sit num nums please" This has even transitioned into the night. She wakes up in the night and immediatly starts crying (when she was starting to settle herself to sleep on her own before) I will nurse her for a few min and the tell her "the num nums are empty, time to go night night"....before she would roll over and go back to sleep now she screams hysterically waking everyone in the house up. I'm not talking 20 min of crying i'm talking over and hour sometimes two of screaming and crying and begging hysterically to nurse. i try to sit by her bed and comfort her, I've even given her a sippy cup of water incase she wants to drink more, but i seem to be giving her little comfort. I am not sure what to do. I don't believe in the CIO approach but after pulling my back exercising, sitting on the floor or leaning over her crib to nurse her for hours is very painful. She is also increadibly sensitive to my movements. I can wait until I am absolutly sure she is sound asleep and try to sneak to my bed, only to have her wake up crying before my head hits the pillow. This has resulted to me either sleeping sitting up or leaning over and sleeping on the floor (not comfortable) all in an attempt to get a few min of sleep before she starts again. I've tried taking her out of her bed to rock her to sleep but any attempt to move her back into her bed makes her start crying again as well. I am at my wits end. I don't mind nursing her periodically throughout the day, however, sitting hours and hours either in the day or the night is starting to wear on me. I do not have anyone to help with me during the night either. Dh works 48 hrs a week and is going to university as well. I am trying to nap when I can but would rather try and solve the issue and I have no idea how to go about this. She has been on antibiotics long enough she should no longer have any pain but she is also receiving childrens advil in the night to help with it incase i am wrong. I would appreciate any suggestions please !!!
    born 03/24/11, and and
    born 03/21/08 Breastfed for 2 yrs, and still when needed

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,258

    Default Re: HELP!!!

    Wow how frustrating, it sounds like maybe your daughters move into her own bed and less nursing got completely derailed by illness. There are other possibilities of course-maybe your daughter was not quite ready for her own bed, or for some other reason is having anxiety about the sleeping arrangement change, (or something else) which could also cause such frequent and frantic neediness.

    Whatever the reason, it sounds as if the situation is compounded by your own physical injury and exhaustion from having to 'do it all' due to your husbands demanding schedule. Ugh.

    In situations like this, brainstorming may help. Do you have a supportive friend(s) who can sit with you and your husband as well, if you like, and help you throw out ideas? You can also try it with your husband only. It helps when brainstorming to not judge the ideas while brainstorming, just write everything down no matter how kooky and then later choose a couple ideas that might work for all parties. We can try brainstorming here of course if you like.

    It also can help to define the problem first. For example, defining the problem as 'my child wants to nurse too much and won't sleep in her own bed' is different than 'I am not getting enough sleep and am burned out caring for the kids alone all day.' You can define it however you wish, but the latter ‘I’ type definition might open up more ideas and give you more power to find solutions. Because a 2 year old pretty much needs what they need. That does not mean limits cannot be set, of course. Limits must be set for responsible parenting. But they will generally work better if they are limits the child is developmentally ready for.

    here are some things to think about

    Some two year olds do still need the security of parental closeness at night and will sleep best when in close proximity to mom and/or dad.
    your child may still feel ill or not quite right.
    Some other outside factor or internal developmental factor may be at work-in other words, this situation may be very temporary.
    And, this behavior will go away, eventually, even if you do nothing. Just to be clear, I am not suggesting you actually do nothing, I think you should do something as you are so clearly miserable and that is not good! I am just trying to reassure you that all children wean, and all children become comfortable sleeping in their own beds.

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