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Thread: ready to give up on breastfeeding

  1. #1

    Default ready to give up on breastfeeding

    Had my baby on December 31st and since then have had so many issues trying to get him to breast feed. I had a ton of nurses trying to help me get him to latch but nothing seemed to help. When I left the hospital I was under the impression that it would be easier once my milk came in. Well it hasn't been. I've been using a nipple shield because that is the only way that I have been able to get him to suck. And he has a great suck when he wants to use it. My nipples aren't inverted or flat or anything like that. Last night he actually latch on my breast without the nipple shield for the first time ever and nursed great! However I only got him to repeat that once for about ten minutes during the following feeding and then he wouldn't even try to latch onto the nipple sheild. I'm ready to just break down and cry. I want to be able to feed my baby but I feel like I'm failing. I don't have enough hands to hold his head in place and compact my nipple enough to get it into his mouth. And even when I do he just keeps crying and won't suck. I don't know what to do anymore.

  2. #2

    Default Re: ready to give up on breastfeeding

    Don't give up. I really don't have any specific advice for your situation, but I totally feel your frustration. Maybe talk to the lactation consultant at the hospital you delivered at. I think the feeling of giving up comes and goes, so just stick to it and remind yourself what a special gift you are giving that sweet baby and just keep trying.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!

    Default Re: ready to give up on breastfeeding

    Here are some video links of what it should look like. HTH!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wj9tLgYn-bA

    Way too lazy for formula

  4. #4

    Default Re: ready to give up on breastfeeding

    Skin to skin time (with him only in his diaper against your bare chest) before and after he feeds can make a huge difference. Its very calming for him and for you, so you will both handle the difficulties a little better. Time at the breast should be as happy and calm as possible, so if feedings are frustrating then you both need even more calm skin-to-skin time, as much as you can fit in. Try to find a lactation consultant (IBCLC) to help you again now that your milk is in. And try not to give up! He obviously is capable so its just a matter of getting him consistent, he can do it momma!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Austin, TX

    Default Re: ready to give up on breastfeeding

    I think it's really great that you were able to latch last night without the shield and have a good nursing session! That is cause for celebration, and I encourage you to take hope from that success and have faith that if baby did it once, he will do it again. I don't have any technical suggestions for your specific situation (hopefully other veteran moms on the forum can chime in with tips for you there). But I will say that that in the first few months they are still learning and so are we, and no matter what the BF challenge is that you are trying to overcome, I think that newborn babies don't typically turn a corner immediately and change their behavior overnight ... it seems to be a "two steps forward, one step back" kind of process, with gradual improvement until they latch and feed well consistently. But every day, baby gets stronger, more developed, more coordinated. It is so normal to feel emotional about it, you are not alone in that -- breastfeeding can feel very personal -- but try not to internalize it as a personal failure. You are not failing -- far from it! -- it's just a learning process. Keep your head up mama!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2010

    Default Re: ready to give up on breastfeeding

    Try to do something you enjoy while nursing. Netflix, perhaps? Sometimes even the tiniest of babes can pick up on stress and just won't latch. I would go topless at my computer with DD in a sling or propped up on a circular pillow. She would snuggle and latch whenever she felt like it and that solved 90 percent of our fusses at that age.

    YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. You've got lots of hormones right now and they've got to work themselves out. Go ahead and cry, too because you'll probably feel a release afterward. In the meantime, start a good book or movie and go to it when you need to nurse. If the latch takes awhile back off and just keep it within a few inches of baby's mouth and let yourself get distracted.

    being a SAHM to DD born 12/09

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2012

    Default Re: ready to give up on breastfeeding

    Oh my gosh, mama, I totally understand where you are. I had to use a nipple shield with my daughter for the first month or so and it was soooooo frustrating. It was two steps forward and one step back. I remember breaking down in the middle of the night when she wouldn't latch and was so hungry. I wailed to my husband that it was so unfair that I was the only one who could do this. Over the course of about two weeks, though, things got so much better. She started latching every once in a while without the shield. And then sometimes she would get super frustrated and not latch at all. But gradually, we figured it out. Skin to skin really helps. Netflix really helps. Passing the baby to someone so you can cry in the bathroom really helps. You'll both get through it. We weaned completely off the nipple shield in two weeks. She took one breast first, resisting the other unless it had the shield, and then gradually she took the other. It will take a little time, but I was amazed at the progress. If you got him to latch on today without the shield, you're already there!!! It's just a matter of time before he's nursing like a pro. There will be other challenges (my nipples really hurt shortly after we weaned off the shield and now I'm struggling with pumping while I'm at work), but if you can keep it up it only gets easier. My daughter will be 5 months this week and we have been exclusively breastfed the whole time. It's possible. It's so hard at the beginning, but just realize that you're almost over the first big hump. Good luck!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2009

    Default Re: ready to give up on breastfeeding

    Hi and welcome to the forum. So baby is less than two weeks old? This is really early days, lots of moms and babies take way longer than that to get the hang of it. You are both still learning-learning breastfeeding and learning each other and how you best 'fit together'-I know it is frustrating but try to be patient with yourself.

    Last night he actually latch on my breast without the nipple shield for the first time ever and nursed great! However I only got him to repeat that once for about ten minutes during the following feeding and then he wouldn't even try to latch onto the nipple sheild.
    If a baby can latch and nurse once, that means they are capable of doing it all the time. So how can we help baby nurse all the time-or rather, enough. Many babies refuse or are not interested to nurse some of the time, that is just normal, and another reason it's important to offer to nurse a lot.

    So just generally, here are some suggestions.

    Offer very frequently. Before baby fusses. Even before any cue. As much as possible, keep baby on you or close to you so you can see the early cues. Bring baby to the breast while baby is calm, sleepy, just waking, or asleep. Skin to skin is great if you are comfortable with it but if not, just keep baby on you with quick and easy access to the breasts so there is not a lot of delay getting to them once baby starts to root.

    Try different positions. Have you tried side lying? Laid Back? Football? What about latch techniques-shaping the breast to help baby latch-'breast sandwich?"

    Use the sheild if/when it helps. At this point the key is to get baby nursing often-10 or more times a day is normal-sheilds or no.

    Consider seeing a board certified lactation consultant if things don't start improving soon. Do you have a local breastfeeding support group? Call them or go to a meeting if you can.

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