Sorry in advance for the long post. I am extremely frustrated with breastfeeding my LO (15 days old). We have had a very bumpy road just getting to where we are now, and I am stressing myself greatly over it. I am currently supplementing with formula, and I keep telling myself to relax and that formula isn't the end of the world, but whenever it comes time to feed her formula I always feel like a failure. Here is our story:
When we were in the hospital, my LO developed jaundice. By day two, it became extremely difficult to wake her for feedings. Her output up to this point was good. On the third day, I noticed she hadn't peed all day. I decided to feed her formula (my milk hadn't come in yet. I was pumping what I could and giving her that, but it wasn't enough) so she would get more fluid into her and lower her bilirubin levels.
When we got home on the fourth day, my milk came in but very, very gradually. I would nurse her, but she was always hungry afterwards. We went to the doctor the day after we got home to follow up on her jaundice, and the doctor told us to supplement with formula when needed so that she wouldn't become lethargic and develop a weak suck.
A week after her birth, she had surpassed her birth weight, but we feel that is because we were supplementing with formula. I stopped giving her as much formula and started breastfeeding her as needed so I could build my supply. My supply has definitely increased, but I still feel like it is too low for her. We still supplement with formula (she gets approx. 4-8 oz. in each 24-hr pd.), but I always try to breastfeed first. The problem is that she can spend an hour nursing and still be hungry! I pump as well so that I can supplement with my own milk when needed, but I barely pump enough to make it through the day, and some days I can't really pump anything (I have a Medela electric). I usually can get 1.5 oz. total during one pumping (both breasts).
I've considered starting fenugreek, but each time I convince myself to try to build my supply naturally (by feeding her as often as possible). The reason I am so frustrated is because she is always hungry, and I always feel as if I am failing her. I am at the point that I don't know what to do. I am going to continue to breastfeed her, and supplement with my own milk when possible and then with formula, but each day is a struggle and she starts crying and then I get upset. I spend the entire day with her crying, or at my breast, or pumping, and we barely make it through each day. I don't know what I am looking for on this forum - maybe just some encouragement, or tips on how to build my supply. I know milk is best for my baby, and since I am producing some, I am still determined to try to make it work. I just feel like we are both miserable!!!