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Thread: help! ready to give up :(

  1. #11
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    21,249

    Default Re: help! ready to give up :(

    Go ahead and post a picture. Just be aware that how a latch looks on the outside doesn't necessarily tell you much about what it feels like on the inside- you can have a textbook perfect latch on the outside that feels awful on the inside, and vice versa.

    Can you describe the pain for us a bit more? Does it happen at any time during the feeding- maybe during letdowns, or at the conclusion of a feeding? Does it happen after the feeding is over? Is it more of a stabbing or pinching pain, or more of a burning pain? When baby unlatches, are your nipples symmetrical like pencil erasers, or asymmetrical/wedged/ridged/creased/shaped like new lipsticks?
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Victoria, Texas
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    5

    Default Re: help! ready to give up :(

    it only hurts after she's let go, it's a sharp pain. they aren't dry either, i have a tube that looks like chapstick but bigger & it's nipple balm, i put it on frequently throughout the day. if it hurts when she's latched on i make her try again, although that's not very often. she seems to know now when she has a bad latch, she lets go on her own most of the time. my nipple usually looks like a new lipstick, not a pencil eraser. she's slowed down on her eating but it's still really frequent, & my supply is up because i often wake up to leaking breasts. also i was wondering, will she be spoiled if we let her sleep on our bed with us? we have a king size & we keep her in the middle so she has lots of room & if she wakes up hungry i am easily able to feed her & get her to go back to sleep. she tends to fight sleep if we put her in her bassonet, so it's just been easier on us this way but everyone keeps saying she'll be spoiled.
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    <3 Cy

  3. #13
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    May 2006
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    Default Re: help! ready to give up :(

    Thanks for posting the picture! She's darling.

    From the pic, I'd say that the latch looks good. But looks good and feels good aren't always the same! If the baby is leaving your nipples in the new lipstick shape after she unlatches, then something isn't right. She's latched on too shallow. Something called the "sandwich technique" may be helpful to you. This link has a brief description of it: http://www.naturalbirthandbabycare.com/latch-on.html Honestly, it's something that often works best if you have someone show you how to do it- so a visit with a lactation consultant, preferably an IBCLC, might be really helpful for you.

    Don't worrying about "spoiling" your baby. Co-sleeping doesn't spoil babies. It just makes it easier for mom to breastfeed and get enough sleep- why anyone could be against that is beyond me! Just make sure you follow safe co-sleeping practices, including:
    - Use a firm sleep surface. No waterbeds, no soft pillow top mattresses. Overly yielding sleep surfaces pose a suffocation hazard.
    - Make sure there are no voids- for example, between the bed and the headboard or the bed and the wall- into which baby can roll and become entrapped.
    - Avoid mounds of soft bedding and pillows.
    - Do not overdress the baby- overheating is a risk.
    - All adults who share a bed with a baby must be drug, smoke, and alcohol-free.
    - Adults who share a bed with a baby must not have sleep disorders like narcolepsy.
    - Never co-sleep on a couch or recliner- they are notorious for having voids in which babies can become wedged.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Victoria, Texas
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: help! ready to give up :(

    Thanks, it took me a bit to get it up using my smartphone. I just never have time to get to my computer any more it seems. Never thought breastfeeding would be such a challenge, it seems like it should just come naturally to the both of us. I've been doing the sandwich thing, but I was wondering, do I have to continue to hold my breast that way? It seems like when I'm laying next to her in bed she starts to fuss if I let go & it's an awkward position to have to stay in given the angle. Also, I got my pump in & managed to squeeze an ounce out from both in 30 minutes so I guess that's not bad given I haven't pumped in a while. Using the Medela Swing now, it's much more comfortable than the evenflo POS I had before.
    I guess with the co-sleeping thing I'm just worried she'll get too used to being next to me & not want to change to her crib later on. I try to keep her in the middle but she's a snuggler & always ends up right next to me. I tend to stay very still tho & wake frequently; very different from my previous sleeping patterns lol.
    <3 Cy

  5. #15
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    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    Default Re: help! ready to give up :(

    Yeah. Your previous sleeping patterns are pretty much gone forever. I mean....maybe not forever. But you shouldn't do anything in terms of your child with ideas of getting them back. You won't get any solid blocks for a LONG TIME. Accepting that makes it easier to deal with IME. Your baby's stomach is the size of a grape. So she will constantly need to eat. It takes most dyads a while to master nursing. You have never done it before. And neither has she. And she is working off of instinct. Which is to stay on you and nursing pretty much non stop for the 1st 6-8weeks. At least. This is how a newborn regulates a new mothers milk supply. It's also how they stay alive. By staying close to their mother. The reality is that mother nature means for your child to be attached to you or touching for the 1st weeks of life. It's true on all fronts. They are supposed to be working to regulate your milk supply, which requires constant contact. You are all she knows. For nine months she has been with your 24/7. So even if you hold and feed your baby for 12hours a day that is still a 50% reduction in what she is used to. And a child that is co sleeping with her mother in the 1st months drastically reduces their risk of SIDS. Because you and the child are chemically connected. Most breastfeeding mothers will wake when their child begins to stir. Long before the 1st cry comes. And they stay warm and are less likely to forget to breathe. So hold your baby. Feed your baby. And wrap your mind around the fact that this is ALL that you should really be doing. All day. Wake up and set up a nursing station. Plan to hold and feed her all day. I put my kid down to pee, and get more food. The only other time I got off the couch was to change his diapers. And the only time I got dressed was to go to those doctor appts. Until about the 5 weeks point. At weeks I started making one weekly trip to a Mommy and me group. It all happens slowly. But the majority of time in the 1st few months of a newborns life are usually spent a a couch or in a bed nursing. That's how we all learn to do it. So just plan for that. And REST when the baby rests during the day. Have your DH bring home takeout. Do the dishes and laundry on the weekends. Right now, just feed the baby.

    Way too lazy for formula

  6. #16
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    Default Re: help! ready to give up :(

    Just because breastfeeding is natural doesn't mean it's also easy. A lot of things that are natural are also really hard. Childbirth. Running long distances. Learning to swim.

    Continue to hold your breast in the sandwich hold only if that improves the nursing experience and leads to less pain.

    Don't worry about co-sleeping. As Djs.mom said, your previous sleeping pattern is a thing of the past. Don't fight it. Just roll with it. And remember that it is natural for moms and babies to sleep together- that's how it is in most human societies which are still breastfeeding societies, and how it was throughout human history up until the invention of bottles.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    259

    Default Re: help! ready to give up :(

    Hi mama! Please don't get discouraged. Breastfeeding is hard and is truly a commitment of time and energy. When my DS was born he was 10lb 11oz, had jaundice, and after leaving the hospital didnt poop for five days. We were stuck at 9lb 13oz for over a week and the docs kept pushing supplement to get DS to poop. Finally, I gave in, but I did so stupidly. I would nurse DS and then give him a bottle until he acted full. IME by the time they act full, they're beyond full . So, I had to cut back on the supplement. I bought a used baby scale ($35 i think) and did before and after weigh ins for each feeding for a few days and only supplemented enough to make sure he was getting about 2.5oz per feeding. YOU have to control how much supplement she gets if you want breastfeeding to work. Obviously you want to give as little as possible. Anyhow, over time, and very slowly, I cut out the formula and now have been advised that weight gain is sufficient w/ out supplement.

    My DS will be 5mo next Monday, and there are still days where we nurse for hours. It's the nature of the commitment. I only share my experience so you know that supplementation isn't a life sentence. All in all, we used two cans. I have a good supply, which I never would have believed due to DS not gaining or pooping. I know it's frustrating, too. No one tells you how sedentary nursing is. I urge you to not take any more nights off. At least not this soon. Keep her st the breast as frequently and as long as she wants. I would also make sure she doesn't get more than 3oz at any one feeding. You will get her off formula if you want to. We finally got DS off around the 2 month mark. Good luck mama. You can do it. Trust me... If a nervous ninny like me can do it, you can do it!!!

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