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Thread: help! ready to give up :(

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Victoria, Texas
    Posts
    5

    Unhappy help! ready to give up :(

    I had my DD (my first) on december 21st, & I've been trying to breastfeed. I say trying because no matter how long she nurses, she's still always hungry. At her first doctor's appointment, the doctor says all the breastfed babies he sees all tend to be past their birth weight already but she's lost 7 oz off her birth weight of 6 lbs 15 oz in her first week. He told me to give her formula, which I really didn't want to but I was worried she was going hungry. She wasn't having enough wet or poopy diapers either, well enough poop maybe but not enough pee. So I started her on the formula after I get her to breastfeed. The problem is I'm really upset because I feel like I can't provide for her soley on my milk, & feel like the formula just isn't as good for her but again she always seems so hungry. I can have her nurse for 2 hours & still be sticking her hands in her mouth. I've watched countless videos on latching & good drinking & even try compressing my breasts while she's latched on. As far as I can tell she has a good latch, no pain & her head is tilted up with her chin touching. I can't tell however if she has enough aeriola in her mouth, but her bottom lip isn't ever tucked in. I don't know if maybe I'm just not producing enough for her or what. There is no LLL in my area, only one about an hour & a half away in Corpus. The nurses in the hospital didn't teach me a thing about it either so it's been internet research & videos for me. I'm so upset because I feel like a failure both by not being able to satisfy her hunger & for having to give her formula. I'm ready to quit but at the same time I know my milk is the best thing for her. Has any one else experienced this constant hunger? She's at 10 days & I know it could just be a growth spurt but how can I keep her from going hungry other than formula? Is it too late to get her off the formula & back on breastmilk only?
    <3 Cy

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Limbo
    Posts
    594

    Default Re: help! ready to give up :(

    First things first, you are not a failure. You are here. You are looking for help. You are caring for your little one and you are doing everything in your power to do the best thing for her. Motherhood is hard, and there is a steep learning curve, but you're already steps ahead by reaching out and just looking for some support. So, not a failure... And, it's definitely not too late. You CAN do this.

    Now that that's out of the way, by "enough poop but not wet" for output, what number are we looking at here?

    Also, what has her weight gain trend looked like? Birth weight was 6 lb 15 oz... how about hospital discharge weight?

    My pediatrician likes to see birth weight regained by 14 days. You're at 10 days. If she were to be on a gaining trend, then even an ounce and a half per day would put you at birth weight by day 14 again. And an ounce to an ounce and a half is about average. Can you get your hands on an accurate scale to do a before feeding and after feeding weight check to see if she's transferring milk? Would that ease your mind a bit?

    Last, how much formula are you currently giving and when do you offer it? Before offering the breast? After? Are you able to pump to maybe use your own milk and stimulate supply while you get the hang of the latch and this way you can offer the breast and some expressed milk instead of formula while you work on latch?

    It's going to be ok. You're doing a wonderful thing for you daughter, and it's also a very big challenge. This will get better, and it's definitely not too late to get her on breastmilk only.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,952

    Default Re: help! ready to give up :(

    Excellent advice from the PP. Do you have a pump? If you must supplement- and I think that is an open question because as the PP said you want a baby to regain birthweight by 14 days, not 7- then it's preferable to do so with your own milk rather than formula. Supplementing with your milk wil keep your supply equal to baby's needs, allowing an easier transition back to exclusive breastfeeding.

    You want a good pump- I am thinking Medela Pump in Style or a hospital grade rental if you can access one (call your pediatrician, your hospital, your medical supply company, etc.).
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4

    Default Re: help! ready to give up :(

    Hang in there! Hang in there! You can do it! The constant nursing will build your supply. I agree also that the pumping is probally the best choice, to suppliment.

    My gf told me that at day four she was right back up there at the hospital nursery getting the nurses to help get her son to latch on correctly. It worked.

    Please do not feel like a failure, any breastmilk that you give your baby is the best. It does not make you a failure though if you suppliment, or even give formula.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    17

    Default Re: help! ready to give up :(

    Well done getting to 10 days, and you've done it all yourself! Not an easy task so by no means a failure. Keep doing what your doing, it does get easier and in no time you'll be laughing at all your worrying. It's natural, your a mummy now! Good luck and look forward to hearing how things go for you both. Xxxx ps I have used a Medela swing pump in the past and highly recommend xx

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Victoria, Texas
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: help! ready to give up :(

    When on breastmilk alone she was having maybe 2-3 wets & 3 poops maybe 4 on a good day. She was discharged at 6 lbs 7 oz & we'd taken her to the ER one morning when she was screaming her head off & we couldn't figure out why. She was 6 lbs 10 oz then, but then 6 lbs 8 oz at the doctor's office this last Friday. So she's been up & down. I don't have a scale at home either so I don't know if she's gained since then. It would help too to check her weight before & after feedings. When I hand expressed the other day (I have an evenflo electric pump, it's a joke) I got about 2 oz & she drank it all at once. When she drinks formula she can drink almost 4 oz if she doesn't have any breast milk. I try to offer her breast milk first, & get her to nurse as long as possible before offering formula. When she does drink breast milk first, she'll drink about 1 oz to 2.5 oz of formula. I'm worried my breasts just aren't making enough. I have a credit card I can put a medela pump on but I cut it up months ago in an attempt to pay it off so I'll have to wait a bit for the replacement to come in before I can get the single electric pump walmart has. Hand expressing seems to get me more than the pump, but it's uncomfortable & takes quite a while since I'm not used to it yet. Today she has been at the breast all day already but I'm doing my best not to lose patience. She was satisfied for a bit but is already hungry again so she's nursing right now. My nipples are sore from yesterday, when I tried again to fill her up with not much luck. Ended up taking the night off to let myself enjoy some wine after such a stressful day. Woke up with my breasts feeling like water balloons about to burst, so she's had a good supply today I guess.
    <3 Cy

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    399

    Default Re: help! ready to give up :(

    I really feel for you and hope things will get better. I had my son on the 20th, and if I didn't already go through this once, I'd think something was wrong. He eats practically hourly during the day. Last week, we had some commitments and I sort of overdid it. This week, I'm taking a big chunk of the day to lie in bed with him and nurse nurse nurse. One thing about those weights you describe -- I bet they were all on different scales, so that amount of difference doesn't add up to a whole lot for me. Plus, baby's are supposed to be back to birth weight by 2 weeks -- and it seems as though yours in back to birth weight now, a few days early, so that's encouraging.

    As others have said, breast feeding is supply and demand. My son essentially hangs out on my breast between 5 and 10 pm -- I probably nurse him 6-8 times in that period. So I drink a bunch of water, chill out on the couch and make sure my husband can tend to my four year old, be in charge of dinner and help me with whatever I need. It's a family commitment.

    I'm not an expert on getting a child off of formula supplement -- I'll let others chime in. I just want you to know that a lot of what you are describing is totally normal newborn behavior, and you don't have to feel so desperate. It'll get better and easier, and I'm pretty sure that with a little work you will get off the formula.

    My DH said today -- "There's really no way to do anything else than nurse in the first 6 weeks, if you want to breast feed your baby." It was a nice acknowledgement of the commitment and sacrifice it takes in the beginning. Hang in there. You an do this!!
    Ellen

    Mama-surgeon;
    DS Ethan 12/16/2008
    Breast fed/pumped 11 months as a surgical resident, 80 hours a week at work
    DS Abram Daniel 12/20/2012
    Feel like we've gotten a strong start

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,438

    Default Re: help! ready to give up :(

    This is all normal. You have to sit in one spot all day and just let her nurse. And EXPECT THAT. She is working to establish your supply. Every time you give her formula, you are negatively affecting the supply and demand ques between your brain and your body. Don't mistake constant eating for not getting enough. Babies have teeny stomachs and breastmilk is completely absorbed into their systems very quickly. Don't mistake going longer with formula as "more satisfied" either. The reason they go longer is because it's harder on their systems and takes longer to digest.
    And when counting wet diapers you do know that you need be counting in a 24hour period right? Not all day long. But from whatever time you wake up to the same time the next day. So if in THAT time frame you don't have 6-8 wet diapers there could be an issue. But It's ot morning till bedtime. Its Morning till morning.

    Way too lazy for formula

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Victoria, Texas
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: help! ready to give up :(

    So is it okay to just completely stop the formula, or will I have to wean her off? Nursed her for a long time but she was still hungry so I gave her a bit of formula. She only took about an ounce. Ordered the pump with paypal since my credit card info is still on there, so hopefully soon it will come in & I can get a supply going. And what about my nipples? They are so sore from all day nursing. I'm wondering again now if the latch is right or if it's just hurting from it being an all day thing. It looks right but again, I can never tell if she has enough aerola in her mouth. Is it okay to take a picture of her latched & share it on this thread? Maybe you other mommies can give me a second opinion.
    <3 Cy

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Texas, USA
    Posts
    50

    Default Re: help! ready to give up :(

    My daughters took about 3 weeks to get back to birth weight. With the first one it was because it took a full week for my milk to come in. With the second one it was due to a weak suck and poor lip/seal. She would nurse for hours and still scream. I worked with a very understanding pro breastfeeding pediatrician as well as an IBCLC and an OT. Now my little one has rolls upon rolls and is gaining well.
    To get to that point I nursed constantly, pumped several times a day, endured bleeding nipples, mastitis and thrush. For me breastfeeding was difficult and still is sometimes when my little one is tired or sick. All I can say is hang in there supplement with pumped milk rather than formula and keep looking for support in your area.
    For me the harder I worked the more rewarding it has been in the end.

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