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Thread: STTN and Formula fed vs BF babies

  1. #21

    Default Re: STTN and Formula fed vs BF babies

    My DH is not a reader I have tried to get him to read on so many topics that we disagree on so he can see why I feel the way I do. I do feel bad for sister in-laws son. I know they gave him his own room so that they could get more sleep so I know they are ignoring his cries at night for the sake of there own sleep. I do know I have stood my ground over and over with him when it comes to our kids. He will give up or learn to leave it alone since I wont give in to CIO or giving formula when my breasts work just fine and I am just way to lazy to do all the work that comes with formula hahahaha

  2. #22
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    Default Re: STTN and Formula fed vs BF babies

    My DH was like that. He's not the reader / researcher that I am. When I really needed him to hear it I'd resort to reading it out loud to him. If he complained, I'd just say "No, I really need you to hear this. It's important to me." Look him dead in the eye when you say it.

    DH hated it when I did it. It caused some arguments. I told him that I cared more about this issue (whatever it was) than he didn't care about it. We had the same agreement when it came to our wedding. I didn't want to have religion in our wedding (we were getting married in a non-denominational chapel). He wanted a prayer. It meant more to him to have a prayer than it did to me not to have it. So we did. I found we needed to have a plan when we were at an impasse. Rating how important (or unimportant for that matter) it was to us helped us to decide which way to go.

    The good news is that he now listens. He doesn't need to read it. I carefully pick and choose which articles I read to him so that it's only the really important ones to me. Doing it too often would lose it's effectiveness.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

  3. #23

    Default Re: STTN and Formula fed vs BF babies

    I think our biggest problem when it comes to something like that is our time together. He was Missing the first part of our sons life due to being in the army so all communication was over the phone or Skype. Now that he is out he has lived with us for a couple months but jobs in the state I live in are so hard to get so he moved back east where his family lined him up a couple jobs so he could save for us to move out there. I have noticed when we are together in the same spot he will actually hear me out but when are apart like we are now he will start giving away to his friends or family's views over hear me out. When he was here he did agree how I was doing things were gong good and the 2 times he complained about our son not STTN I would for the rest of the week ask him how many times did your son wake up and he would say i don't know once or twice and would be like no he woke up x amount of times you didn't even notice. It hasn't really affected you other than the few times our son has decided to pull the oh i think i need to play at 3 am than you notice. He than give in to the its not so bad for a while than someone opens there mouth about how this or that and makes me start doubting our way and we are back in to this nasty grove. Now that we are apart again I am hearing more and more of the my friends think my family think.... I did get short with him at one point and told him i don't care about all these other people I married him if he has a view that is all his own than i will hear him out but if he brings up my friends think or anything like i wont hear him out. I also want show me studies to back up why he might want something like formula over breast milk that I am sick of fighting over the same thing over and over most of all when the only reason he is saying anything is because someone eles in his life disapproved of how we are going about raising our kids

  4. #24
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    Default Re: STTN and Formula fed vs BF babies

    That's tough. It's probably due to his being away and his want/need to help you. It's a guy thing. If you complain in anyway way or are having a hard time, he wants to offer you a solution. Of course, his friends/family are more than happy to offer advice. It must be hard for him to be far away from you. I would think it leaves him feeling helpless a lot of the time.

    I would probably be careful about what / how I would voice my problems to him. Not that he shouldn't hear about your challenges, but I might temper it with "It's just a stage." or "I know one day I'll miss this." So that he knows it doesn't need to be fixed, just experienced and grown through.

    I've posted this advice many times here, but I'll post it again. We as women tend to over-explain. We want to convince people of our position. However as we explain, explain again, elaborate, etc. Others tend to see it as a weakness. As if we're not convinced ourselves yet. That the door is still open for discussion. That there is still an opportunity to convince you otherwise.

    If you've said it. Said your peace. Let it go. Say "This is my decision." and stop talking. There's nothing wrong with it. It's a fact. You can only argue that the sky is blue for so long before you just call it. "This is my informed decision. Thank you."
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

  5. #25

    Default Re: STTN and Formula fed vs BF babies

    Oh we don't talk about problems here he just feels the need to give advice hahahaha. It is hard since he wants to be here more than anything I know he misses kissing and cuddling our son as I would BF. I sadly am happy to not have to share my BFing time. It is cute how he would just join us on the bed as I would nurse he would kiss and cuddle our son... Kinda like a little kid feeling left out of all the fun hahaha

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
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    North Beach, Maryland
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    Default Re: STTN and Formula fed vs BF babies

    That's a great theory. I will remember that when I'm up at 2am for our first night feeding lol. Bluesea- I as well was under the same assumption. I have friends in my local Breastfeeding support group that claim their "super awesome" 3 4 6 8 month olds sleep 10 HOURS!!! I was like wtf am I doing wrong. My DD is 6 months old sleeps roughly 4-5 hours her first stretch, then we're up about every 2 hours after that until its time to wake up for real I tried all the things those moms told they were doing, NOPE doesnt work for me. So I have just learned that as soon as baby goes to bed mommy goes to bed. And my baby is "high needs" so getting naps in is almost impossible. I have no choice but to baby wear as that is the ONLY way I can get her to self soothe.

  7. #27
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    Default Re: STTN and Formula fed vs BF babies

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*zackndelaneysmama View Post
    I have no choice but to baby wear as that is the ONLY way I can get her to self soothe.
    Um, you realize that this isn't self soothing right? Baby needs you, your warmth, reassurance, hearing your heart and breath.... You're giving it to her. Reflux babies do much better with wearing because they are upright.

    You're not doing anything wrong. Sleeping through the night is an adult expectation on a baby.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

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