STTN and Formula fed vs BF babies

[@llli*bluesea]

Okay, I really need to know, are BF babies able to STTN? And when? Several of my friends and strangers I've met, continue to tell me (all with good intention) that LO will STTN if I do this or that but I don't believe it. They tell me to read "Bringing Up Bebe" which discusses the French way of raising babies but apparently the French predominantly formula feed which is why I think their babies STTN. The book talks about "la pause" which means to pause once baby starts crying to see if they can self settle. French parents pause, baby stops crying on their own, and voila... STTN. Another suggestion was "The most content baby" and instilling schedules... didn't research this book but I somehow don't think getting LO on a strict schedule will eliminate her night feeds. Baby is really drinking so I find it hard to believe that she really doesn't need to feed... also, just wanted to vent, b/c somehow I feel people think it's poor parenting or a bad thing when baby isn't STTN...

[@llli*krasota]

I EP for my youngest and she does STTN, but she's also a preemie, so she doesn't have normal hunger cues, nor normal sleep patterns, in my opinion. She recently started waking to feed in the early morning, but she previously went from 1am-10am without a feed (and she wouldn't eat if roused). I'm totally fine with this new feed because she really does need to take in more milk.

My firstborn was exclusively breastfed and didn't STTN until he self-weaned just before he turned three. He nursed every 2-3 hours for the first 32-34 months, sometimes every hour when he was going through a growth spurt. He rarely went 4-5 hours. I think it's entirely normal for babies to wake to feed often through the night and I don't believe in strict schedules.

[@llli*bfwmomof3]

Yeah, I used to think STTN was a "goal" that was my responsibility to "achieve." Then I started reading the sleep forum and realized that's ridiculous. Babies have multiple reasons to wake up at night: hunger, teething pain, wanting to know someone who can take care of them is nearby. Nursing answers all of those needs, usually quickly and efficiently! If it doesn't bother you then I wouldn't worry about these well-meaning friends and strangers.

[@llli*mommal]

Breastfed babies are able to sleep through the night. But for a breastfed baby, STTN = one 5-6 hour stretch of sleep, not a solid 8 hours like we adults are accustomed to. After that one stretch of 5-6 hours- which not all babies will give you- you can expect to be up every 1-3 hours. Formula-fed babies aren't much different- my formula-feeding friends tend to be up with their kids only slightly less than I have been with my breastfed ones. The same things that wake breastfed babies- teeth, new developmental milestones, missing mommy- also wake formula-fed babies. The big difference between formula-fed babies and breastfed babies, I think, is that when formula-fed babies wake at night, people don't automatically blame the feeding method for causing the night-waking.

People love to give advice about sleep, and most of it is bad. Schedules don't do anything to help babies sleep, they just mess up breastfeeding and cause problems with supply. French parenting isn't better than American parenting, no matter how many books it sells or how tres chic it is. The key to dealing with advice is to act as if you don't need it. The answer to "How is the baby sleeping?" is "Great, thanks for asking!" It's no-one's business but yours how many times your baby was unto nurse.

I remember when DD2 was born, and all these random grannies would come up and peak into the Bjorn. "Is she a good baby?" they would ask. "Does she sleep for you?" My answer was always a big smile followed by "ALL babies are good. And none of them sleep."

[@llli*maddieb]

there is no evidence that sleeping long stetches is normal or healthy or appropriate for baby or toddler. It is the overall amount of sleep a child gets that is important. A breastfed baby is being fed normally in the way nature/God/biology intended babies to be fed, so the sleep patterns of a breastfed baby are what should define normal.

imo.

[@llli*mercystreet]

I feel people think it's poor parenting or a bad thing when baby isn't STTN...

YES. That. 100%. Admittedly I am super sensitive about this. When someone asks me "Is he sleeping through the night?" it really raises my hackles ... they walk away from the conversation blissfully unaware that they just narrowly avoided getting a facepunch.

A friend of my (who still BFs her toddler, who still does not STTN) and I had a conversation about this recently, and we came to the very unscientific conclusion, based solely on anecdotal evidence, that we do think that exclusively breastfed babies might have more night waking for longer than exclusively bottle fed babies. Especially if they are formula fed, since the formula is digested slower so they don't get the hunger cues as frequently. But also, we wondered if breastfed babies get to crave and need the skin to skin contact so often, whereas exclusively bottle fed babies might "wean" from the physical intimacy of it sooner. I dunno. Maybe we were just rationalizing how we live like sleep deprived zombies.

And for what it's worth, there is a French mama in my LLL group with three kids, all born in France, all EBF, and she said (I am almost quoting verbatim) that in her country, when you are expecting, it is not a question of "will i choose to/be able to breastfeed" but rather just an assumption that BF is what you do. So I guess "la pause" is not taking France by storm. And when I was weeping over my sad sleep situation, she told me that one of her babies was STTN from an early age, but her youngest would wake up just as much as mine. So I'm making a giant generalization here, but I think French babies aren't any different from ours!

[@llli*losmum]

Of my 4 the only one which was completely formula fed was the only one who DIDN'T sleep through the night before he was a year. In fact, he only started to go through the night when he was about 4.5! He had routines, the lot. He just didn't like sleep. I don't know if it makes a difference, some (a lot!) of babies/children just don't sleep all night without needing comfort and/or feeding.

[@llli*filmmommy]

I got to talk to a legendary rock 'n' roll lady a few months ago, who's a mom, and when I told her I hadn't slept in months she told me she once read that babies who don't sleep well are destined to be leaders. Something about their wanting to know what's going on around them at all times, no time for sleeping. Not sure if it's true, but made me feel better -- and nice to hear it from someone I admired! I decided to go with it. My girl must want to be President, and some of you sound like your kids want to lead the U.N. or something!

[@llli*losmum]

I like this theory filmmommy

[@llli*mommal]

I got to talk to a legendary rock 'n' roll lady a few months ago, who's a mom, and when I told her I hadn't slept in months she told me she once read that babies who don't sleep well are destined to be leaders. Something about their wanting to know what's going on around them at all times, no time for sleeping. Not sure if it's true, but made me feel better -- and nice to hear it from someone I admired! I decided to go with it. My girl must want to be President, and some of you sound like your kids want to lead the U.N. or something!

In that case, my first daughter's future job description is "Galactic Overlord".