Need support...return to work freak out

[@llli*tampamama]

I am returning to work a week from today. I'll be working from home with nanny help Mon and Fri and gone (nanny at home with LO) tues and thurs. Off on wednesdays and home with LO. She is 4.5 months old. We ebf and do lots of baby wearing. I'm basically her everything....which I love but I'm getting really nervous about leaving her. I have three other kids so we've been kinda flying by the seat of our pants : ) No real nap schedule, very little routine, just doing what I have to to keep her happy. She also continues to refuse most bottle attempts. I'm having some luck with a sippy cup but not great.
So my big fear is that when I'm gone she will be miserable. The nanny is an older lady who comes highly recommended but I don't think she will baby wear and I can't imagine she has the stamina to walk Emmie around all day to keep her happy (which is what I do many days). Should I be letting her cry more when she's with m and stop nursing her to sleep to get her used to that? It breaks my heart! But I'd rather her figure it out with me than feel totally abandoned when I have to leave her.
Oh and I have to work and this is a last resort child care option so those variables can't change.

Any encouragement would be greatly appreciated!!

[@llli*bfwmomof3]

Hi tampamama, always hard to go back to work after having a little one! I would not change what you are doing with her. A lot of babies have different routines with mom than with caregiver. For example, most BF'ing mamas nurse their babies down to sleep, obviously caregivers don't - yet still they find ways (usually!) to get babies to nap. Nanny and LO will figure out their own routine and it will likely be different from what you do with her. And have no bearing on what goes on on the weekends when you're together!

[@llli*evolvingmama]

Hi tampamama, always hard to go back to work after having a little one! I would not change what you are doing with her. A lot of babies have different routines with mom than with caregiver. For example, most BF'ing mamas nurse their babies down to sleep, obviously caregivers don't - yet still they find ways (usually!) to get babies to nap. Nanny and LO will figure out their own routine and it will likely be different from what you do with her. And have no bearing on what goes on on the weekends when you're together!

I couldn't agree with this more. My LO didn't take a bottle until the day I went back to work. LO is home with DH when I work, but their days and ways of doing things are much different than mine (though they do stem from the same core parenting values). As long as you trust that your nanny is going to care for your baby in a way that is consistent with how you want her cared for, I wouldn't worry....they will work it out!

It's really hard going back to work. Let us know how you are doing with it.