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Thread: weaning question

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
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    199

    Default weaning question

    My son is almost 23 months and I am DONE with nursing. I would like my body back. I have night weaned him and have been making sure he isn't going to sleep ever while nursing so he can get to sleep without it now. My plan is for the next two weeks to discontinue day time feeding except at his naps (right now he is just doing token nursing for the most part anyway) and to start to decrease the amount of time I let him nurse right before he takes a nap and at night (he does still nurse in the morning, sometime after 6 am and I fall asleep while he is nursing, so I don't know if I can decrease the duration of those nursing sessions). Then in 2 weeks to stop nursing all together. I had thought of decreasing the night sessions by one at a time, but thought that would be more confusing for him to only get to nurse sometimes (although that is what I am doing right now with only letting him nurse after 6 am and telling him no the rest of the night, but offering cuddling). Is that too quick? I would like to wean him before he turns 2, because we are going to put him in a "big boy" toddler bed on his birthday and I don't want that bed associated with the negativity of weaning. I know it will be hard and he won't like it much, but I really need to wean him soon. I am tired of it, and I think 2 years is more than enough time.
    Please excuse my typos, I am always NAK.

    DS since 1/30/11

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    1,710

    Default Re: weaning question

    Two weeks seems pretty quick to me if you are not doing baby-led, but it depends on what you are doing now, which I am not totally following, and how he responds. If you are taking away an "occasional" nursing session, that can happen a lot quicker than something that is an established pattern like it sounds like the 6 am one is. For the latter, I'd give it a few weeks to adjust to just that before making any other changes. Is he still having trouble with some of the other night weaning/etc. you have been doing? If so, I'd wait until he's OK with that before making any other changes.

    But really, there are no hard and fast rules about this - you have to pay attention to your own feelings and your son's and you'll be fine. Congrats on doing it for two years!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    20,935

    Default Re: weaning question

    How often are you nursing right now? 2 weeks seems like a very reasonable amount of time for mother-led weaning with an older baby- unless your toddler is nursing a lot during the day, in which case it may take longer than you're thinking. The key to weaning is usually to drop one feeding, wait a couple of days for supply to adjust downwards, and then drop another, wait a few days, etc., until you're done. If you're nursing just a few times a day, you could be down to no feedings in a week or so. If your toddler still nurses very frequently, it might take longer.

    Can I make a suggestion about the big boy bed? I think a lot of parents try to speed the transition from the crib, and that can mean tears and stress for everyone. What worked for my first kid was to simply put the big girl bed in her room, with the new sheets and coverlet and everything, and then allow her to decide when to sleep in it. For a few weeks, she would start her naps and nighttime sleep in the big girl bed, and then, after about 1/2 an hour, ask to go to her crib. She was excited about the new bed, but still not comfortable enough in it to fall asleep in it. But after a few weeks, she started falling asleep in the big girl bed and we were able to take the crib away. It was a cakewalk! Of course, this method only works if you have space for both crib and bed in your toddler's room... :/
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
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    199

    Default Re: weaning question

    I nurse him once or twice a day besides his nap and night time (and then once or twice between 6 and when he wakes). Today so far, he has only nursed at nap time. He asked a couple more times, but I offered him milk and he excitedly accepted.
    Right now he sleeps with us, so there is no need for a toddler bed and crib
    Please excuse my typos, I am always NAK.

    DS since 1/30/11

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    1,710

    Default Re: weaning question

    Listen to mommal - she's a smart cookie. I'm probably being overly cautious because my DD was really resistant to night weaning (at close to three years), and it was pretty traumatic for both of us. Like I said, it's much more important that you're being responsive to how well he's dealing with it, than the exact timing.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
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    199

    Default Re: weaning question

    It has been a week and he doesn't even ask for nursing during the day anymore. He went to sleep last night for hubby without complaint (I was out with family). He has been much more attached to hubby this past week, which has been nice, as he tends to cling. DS has been more cuddly with me this past week, not clingy, he just comes up and says "I cuddle you" instead of his usual request to nurse. Tonight when I put him to bed, he didn't even ask to nurse. I think I will just do the rest of the nursing sessions this week instead of waiting since he is taking it so well. I am not sure how the morning will go since he seems to really struggle at around 4:30 am with no nursing until 6. Some mornings he is awake until 6 when he can nurse so I wonder if he will have a really hard time with no nursing at all. I guess I will see tonight.
    Another question. I never feel at all full anymore, even when he goes all day without nursing, but I am worried I will get uncomfortably full when I stop all together. Any advice?
    Please excuse my typos, I am always NAK.

    DS since 1/30/11

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    20,935

    Default Re: weaning question

    If you get uncomfortably full, just hand-express enough to restore comfort. Or nurse. Slow weaning sometimes means that even after you've been "done" for a few days you allow a nursing session here and there.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    199

    Default Re: weaning question

    This morning was not good. He cried off and on for an hour to nurse and then he wanted to wake up all the way, even though it was only 6 and he had been up since 5 (he usually sleeps until 7). Then he whined for nursing for two hours even though I was playing with him. I think the morning (and probably nap) time sessions will have to wait a bit too go away. That's ok though because I am mostly done and I am actually a bit sad to have it end all together. I will work toward being completely done by summer so DH and I can go on an overnight trip for our anniversary that we have been putting off four the past 2 years because of a nursing baby who doesn't sleep through the night.
    Thanks for all your help
    Please excuse my typos, I am always NAK.

    DS since 1/30/11

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    1,710

    Default Re: weaning question

    I'm glad things are going well. Sounds like you have gotten things to a place that you are both happy with and a plan for the long term. So jealous of being able to plan an overnight trip!!

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