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Thread: At a loss, completely demoralised...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Paris, France
    Posts
    183

    Unhappy At a loss, completely demoralised...

    Hello LLL ladies, sorry this is a bit of a long post!

    So I have a problem. I have been EBF my DD since her birth in June and all has gone reasonably well with a few little hiccups. However, I am now completely at a loss and don't know where to turn.

    We had our monthly check up with our pedi this morning and I left feeling utterly demoralised. I thought my DD was gaining well but it turns out last month my pedi made a mistake when weighing her.. she added on a whole kilo (just over 2lbs!) meaning that DD had lost weight. This month she has gained but not much. We have started solids 2 weeks ago and all is well. She take a 4-5oz bottle whilst at DC and I nurse her once (the DC is at my work). At home I nurse her whenever she starts to fuss.

    So here's my trouble... I have milk! I really don't want to start supplementing as the pedi told me to this morning. I feel if I supplement that'll be the end to our wonderful BFing relationship as it was with my DS 4 years ago. With DS I struggled on BF and suppplementing for 4 months before giving up BFing. I'd hate for the same to happen this time round.

    Please help ladies as BFing is such an important thing for me to do for my LO and I have managed to get to 6 months! I'd love to get to a year without any formula.

    Thanks in advance.

    Almost forgot, here's a run down on DD's weight gain
    birth 7lbs13oz
    1month 9lbs2oz
    2months 10lbs13oz
    3months 11lbs 7oz
    4months 12lbs 5oz
    5months 11lbs13oz (a loss of 8oz but dr initialy put down 14lbs! DD also wasn't too well at 4.5months old - chest infection and vomiting)
    6months 12lbs 6oz
    -Ishy-

    Married 28 july 2005
    Mummy to my DS , born 30 july 2008
    proud to have BF him for 8 months
    Now a Mummy for the 2nd time to my DD , born 15 june 2012 for 15 1/2months! Still whenever we can and

    DS Stats
    Birth: 7lbs 15oz - 19.5inches
    4 yrs: 35lbs 4oz - 3feet 5.5inches
    5 yrs: 40lbs - 3feet 8inches

    DD Stats
    Birth: 7lbs 13oz - 19.5inches
    6.5 months 12lbs 14oz - 26inches
    9 months 15lbs 13oz
    15months 20lbs 11oz - 30 inches

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    77

    Default Re: At a loss, completely demoralised...

    TRUST YOURSELF!
    sounds like your doc might be leaning on formula because of his/her mistake. sounds like nothing is broken here, you work and so does baby. maybe offer the breast more often? maybe add a drizzle of coconut oil or olive oil to your baby foods for extra calories? better than formula, i'm sure!
    follow your instinct here. if you think formula will cause nursing issues, trust your gut!

    i'm adding, too, that baby will gain, lose, gain, and lose some more. they are moving and shakin', so as long as there is a gain now, even if it is slow, i wouldn't dwell on it.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    65

    Default Re: At a loss, completely demoralised...

    Oh, I feel your pain! I don't have much to offer by way of advice, though. My daughter didn't gain well for the first 6 or 8 weeks and it turned out to be a liver infection (?). We found out because I insisted on them doing bloodwork before I would supplement and her liver enzymes were high. We continued to monitor the enzymes (and they did an ultrasound, too) until they finally came down. At one point they told me we might need to do a liver biopsy to figure out what was causing the problem, but the enzymes finally corrected themselves and then *boom* she started gaining weight really well. All along though they were insisting that I supplement and I just refused (because, like you, I had problems BF'ing my son and wasn't going to let it go that easily with my daughter!). Turns out my instincts were right - the problem had nothing to do with my milk, milk transfer, etc. Trust your gut and assert yourself with the doc. If you're concerned about the weight, ask them to dig a little deeper.
    Good luck! Keep us posted!
    Mama to
    O - 7/10/08
    and
    J - 6/25/12

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,952

    Default Re: At a loss, completely demoralised...

    How well do you trust the doctor's scale? That 1 kilo mistake... Makes me wonder if the doc has made other mistakes when it comes to weighing your baby, and/or recording her weight.

    If that 12 lb 6 oz weight is correct, then yeah, your baby is pretty small for 6 months. That could be because she was sick, and has some ground to make up. I'd definitely try offering to nurse more often during the day, and if the baby is sleeping through the night zi'd be offering at night, as well. Lizeckel's suggestion about adding coconut or olive oil to her solids is another good idea. And if you have milk to spare, you might want to make double cream breastmilk bottles by allowing one bottle to sit in the fridge until the cream floats to the top, and then adding that cream to a second bottle of expressed milk to make one bottle with additional calories.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Paris, France
    Posts
    183

    Default Re: At a loss, completely demoralised...

    Firstly, thanks for the replies.

    I don't trust my dr's scales at all now as it's not the first time there's been a doubt when nothing has been wrong with DD's weight.. plus I weighted DD at home this morning and there's a +400g (approx 14oz) difference since Friday?! Anyway, I've been offering the breast more frequently -she was down to 6 feeds per day and I've increased that to 7-9 in the 24hrs - and I've added a bit of olive oil/butter into her purées. I'll ask them to weight her at DC tomorrow as they have digital scales there so more precice than the old fashioned weight ones at the dr. I'd don't have any spare milk so can't try the double cream BM, but I reckon DD is going through her 6month growth spurt so hoping my supply will increase a bit (it's very difficult for me to pump in between nursing as I have work/household stuff and a 4 year old to keep me busy). Since Friday I've also been taking fenugreek along with continuing to eat oatmeal (which I love!) and fennel tea.

    DD is a happy baby who wets her diapers for every change and has at least one dirty diaper every day to 2 days (she's never been a poo a day baby). Also in the past month she's cut her first 2 teeth and grown in length and head circumference so why the dr expects her to gain huge amounts every month is beyond me - every baby grows differently. I'm so disappointed with our pedi this time round. For DS she was great and had loads of ideas on how to keep BFing. This time round I think she's lost it - as from 3 months she's been on at me to start solids and doesn't seem to look at the whole overall picture of DD's growth. She even suggested that I nurse DD less so I can complement more with a bottle?! As for blood testing, the dr did mention that but wanted me to supplement with formula and increase solids/introduce yogurts etc before going in that direction.

    Anyway, I'm glad I haven't given in as deep down I know DD is ok. I'm so glad for these forums for when some people plant doubt in our ability to know what's best.... thank so much yet again, ladies
    -Ishy-

    Married 28 july 2005
    Mummy to my DS , born 30 july 2008
    proud to have BF him for 8 months
    Now a Mummy for the 2nd time to my DD , born 15 june 2012 for 15 1/2months! Still whenever we can and

    DS Stats
    Birth: 7lbs 15oz - 19.5inches
    4 yrs: 35lbs 4oz - 3feet 5.5inches
    5 yrs: 40lbs - 3feet 8inches

    DD Stats
    Birth: 7lbs 13oz - 19.5inches
    6.5 months 12lbs 14oz - 26inches
    9 months 15lbs 13oz
    15months 20lbs 11oz - 30 inches

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    77

    Default Re: At a loss, completely demoralised...

    sounds like you are doing everything you can! what a strong mommy!
    how old did you say baby was? 7 mos or so?
    just a little blind advice from a non-medical professional... i've always heard to avoid dairy (butter) at all costs until 12 mos because it can screw with the ability for baby to absorb iron. i could be wrong, but i just don't want to see you with an anemia issue to worry about on top of your current worries!
    truly wishing you and LO the best, keep us posted!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Paris, France
    Posts
    183

    Default Re: At a loss, completely demoralised...

    Really? I thought a tiny amount of butter was allowed. Another bit of incorrect info from the pedi then. I'm better to stay away from that to be prudent. Thanks. Oh and DD is 6months old.
    -Ishy-

    Married 28 july 2005
    Mummy to my DS , born 30 july 2008
    proud to have BF him for 8 months
    Now a Mummy for the 2nd time to my DD , born 15 june 2012 for 15 1/2months! Still whenever we can and

    DS Stats
    Birth: 7lbs 15oz - 19.5inches
    4 yrs: 35lbs 4oz - 3feet 5.5inches
    5 yrs: 40lbs - 3feet 8inches

    DD Stats
    Birth: 7lbs 13oz - 19.5inches
    6.5 months 12lbs 14oz - 26inches
    9 months 15lbs 13oz
    15months 20lbs 11oz - 30 inches

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,952

    Default Re: At a loss, completely demoralised...

    I think the recommendations in Europe are very different from those in the US when it comes to cow's milk. In the US it's no dairy until age 1, but in Europe it seems like pediatricians are fine with, and even actively push, the introduction of animal milk at around 8-10 months.

    IIRC, this thing with the scale has happened to you before, right?
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,415

    Default Re: At a loss, completely demoralised...

    grrrrrr inaccurate scales!

    IF a breastfed baby is not gaining enough, and there is no other issue such as illness, the problem is almost certainly not the breastmilk itself, the problem is not enough breastmilk. Breastmilk is higher in calories and healthy fats than almost all typical infant foods or formulas. So, assuming it is available, the solution is probably going to be getting more breastmilk into baby, not more purées or anything else.

    It is great you are nursing more often. 6 times a day is not enough for many babies. Nurse baby way more often. As much as you can. My four month old nurses about 10 times a 24 hour day with me not even trying, despite a very busy daily schedule running all over town with two school age kids. She does get about three sessions in at night which really helps.


    these articles may be helpful http://kellymom.com/health/growth/weight-gain_increase/

    http://kellymom.com/nutrition/starti...yfoodcalories/

    http://kellymom.com/nutrition/milk/milkcalories/

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