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Thread: Doesn't it get easier? Tired and frustrated I guess.

  1. #1
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    Oct 2012
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    Default Doesn't it get easier? Tired and frustrated I guess.

    My LO is 9 wks and I thought things would get easier and for a time they were. Now i dread feedings during the day because she cries, fusses and I find it hard just getting her to eat. She also almost always refuses the right breast, arching away. Now she has starting the same thing on the Left. She latches for a few secs and then pulls off and arches away. After I deal with that she will attach herself to me for the of the day snacking. Now normally this wouldn't be a problem but I have a very active 2.5 yr old who, well he's 2 and demands lots of attention.
    At night she has to nurse to sleep, I can't get her to sleep in her crib beside us and I'm basically 24 hr diner. I don't get a good night sleep as she nurses frequently. Yes, I side nurse but she still eats quite a bit. I'm sure this all sounds normal but I feel like I don't know if something's is going on with her or what. I cut dairy out of my diet because she was a totally different child in the evenings. To say she was fussy is putting it mildly and she was pooping green with intermittent mucous.
    So....here I am at a loss, tired, frustrated and feeling like things will never change.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    19,889

    Default Re: Doesn't it get easier? Tired and frustrated I guess.

    The first thing that jumps out at me from your post is that your LO has super-fussy evenings. She's right in the prime window for colic, and colicky behavior tends to intensify at night. Both my kids were severe evening fussers. From around 3-4 weeks until 3 months they both gave us an evening screamathon. I am talking inconsolable crying and breast refusal for 2-5 hours a night for 2 months. Some things that helped my girls:
    - Nurse as much as possible
    - Trip outside into the fresh air
    - Warm bath
    - Motion (rock, bounce, stroller ride)
    - White noise (radio static)
    - Closeness (wear baby in a sling)
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
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    Oct 2012
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    Default Re: Doesn't it get easier? Tired and frustrated I guess.

    Ok, my first was never like this and my head goes a little screwy with no sleep. She's just been screaming for the last two hrs and refusing to eat. I almost swore I was gonna call it quits. She just settled 5 mins ago. Almost close to tears.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Doesn't it get easier? Tired and frustrated I guess.

    I have no idea what is causing the breast refusal on one side, but I have seen this type of thing be as simple as a positioning preference or aversion to mom's new deodorant to as complicated as an ear infection, there are many possibilities. Unfortunately it becomes very hard to cope with these issues when overly exhausted.

    The breast refusal is worrying, but it sounds to me as if the immediate issue is you are really over-exhausted. Your baby is two months old, not a brand newborn, so, IF baby is gaining well, what about taking one night to get a longer sleep stretch -as long as you can comfortably go without milk removal, while someone else takes over the baby comforting? How or if baby is fed during this time depends on how long it will be and what works, I know you had bottle preference concerns a while back. But seriously, it's amazing what getting even a 5 or 6 hour stretch of sleep will do for a mom's ability to cope. I don’t suggest this often, but since you are already bedsharing and still exhausted, this might help.

    what about other strategies for increasing your sleep? Does your toddler nap and can you sleep at that same time?

    I usually don't think eliminating foods is needed, BUT, since in your case, cutting the dairy made a dramatic difference, I believe there are other foods that can cause issues that are related somehow? This area is not my strong suit. Soy maybe? Or just making sure you are not getting dairy from a hidden source?

    as far as does it get better- typically, the answer is yes. Can you remember how things were with your son? I did not remember this with my older kids, but my husband reminded me I was basically a zombie the first couple of months, even with my second when there were no serious breastfeeding issues. And I can see how different my now 4 month old daughter is after initially having awful colic the first couple of months or so. Like a different baby. What changed? my overproduction became less overwhelming, and she got older and bigger. I have no other explanation.

  5. #5
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    Jun 2006
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    Default Re: Doesn't it get easier? Tired and frustrated I guess.

    But you do know it's going to change right? Even with an easy or non fussy baby nursing is overwhelming and all consuming in the beginning. It's normal and usually like that for the 1st 12weeks at least. And then it gets better. Did you not nurse your 1st baby? Because this all sound very normal. My son was an easy baby and I still spend the 1st 6 weeks in my PJ on the couch. And then started venturing out once a week. And was always an all night diner. Get a wrap or sling so you are hands free to deal with your older child and your 2 year old still naps? Consider laying down for nap time with both of them. You need sleep. But it doesn't have to be in 6 or 8 hour blocks. Nap when the kids nap.

    Way too lazy for formula

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    15

    Default Re: Doesn't it get easier? Tired and frustrated I guess.

    When did you cut the milk out? It does sound like colic to me, but that can also be a symptom of an allergy, or an allergy can make the colic worse. When I took milk out of my diet I noticed a huge difference right away, but it can take 2 weeks to get it fully out of your and baby's systems.

    My daughter had a breast preference.. she is 19.5 months and she still has a preference. I think it is more she likes to lay on one side than the other. Lucky me I have big ol saggy boobs, I just keep her in one position she likes and I move my other boob over to her, now that she is older, she likes self service. HAHA!

    I also think maybe having and SO or another family member come and take over for a little while so you can get a good stretch of sleep. I would get a good nights sleep 2-3 times a month and it made a HUGE difference in my ability to function as a parent

  7. #7
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    Jan 2012
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    Default Re: Doesn't it get easier? Tired and frustrated I guess.

    For the screaming/crying -- have you tried gripe water? We found it occasionally helped our LO during her colic times. We only ended up giving it to her occasionally, but it seemed to work well. In fact, it seemed like if we gave it to her one say, she would be better for another couple days (or maybe I could just tolerate it a little better with one night of rest). Our doctor said we could use it more than we did, but I did not want to throw her digestive system off balance.
    Mom to my sweet little "Pooper," born 10/12/11, and married to heavy metal husband. Working more than full-time, making healthy vegetarian meals for family, and trying to keep up with exercise routine.

    with #2, due mid-June. Will I ever sleep again?

  8. #8
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    Oct 2012
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    Default Re: Doesn't it get easier? Tired and frustrated I guess.

    This morning seems like a repeat of last night. She fed great in the night and again this morning, however it seemed as though she didn't finish her feed (fist eating, rooting etc.). I tried to continue to feed her and she started to lose her marbles! Refusing both sides and screaming, latching on off or just out right refusing. I even tried expressing a bit and cup feeding her, which she was never the best at and didn't work. I gave her a bath and she calmed down a bit and then really started to lose it. Crying/screaming so hard. I decided to try to bottle her and I wrapped her up with her soother and put her in her swing and she crashed. Now what? Nursing strike? I have stared to wean off Dom but I know I still gave a good milk supply, I was almost wondering if the flow isn't as strong? But other times shes gulping and coughing during the first let down. I really hope she's not starving. I'm at a loss. The days have started resembling the nights now.
    I go to the dr. Today for shots and weight. I am going to ask about allergy(s), reflux. Don't know really what else to do at this point. I should point out that I had two coffees this morning and I use coffee mate which of course has whey in it. I also had coffee last night. I didn't think it could be that because it never bothered her before. I also take fenugreek and milk thistle (which I have taken since day 1 to deal with other issues) while I wean from Dom. Guess I cut out the caffiene....
    Last edited by @llli*bonniefleming; December 14th, 2012 at 09:49 AM.

  9. #9
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    Oct 2012
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    Default Re: Doesn't it get easier? Tired and frustrated I guess.

    Just a quick update. I noticed she was awake but very drowsy so I put her on and she fed for a small bit. When she stopped or slowed down I switched her to the least fav boob and she are a bit there however when she woke up she starting having a fit again. Back in the swing with a soother. I don't know if that's the best way to deal but right now not sure what else to do.
    And mg toddler is what some may call very very busy of even high needs. Naps only happen if we go out for a drive Nd even then it's not a gaurentee and he certainly doesn't allow me to nap. I EP with him bc he was a preemie and got traumatized by the icu nurses conflicting advice that I never persisted in trying to get him to stay latched. I am much better prepared and informed this time round.
    Last edited by @llli*bonniefleming; December 14th, 2012 at 10:21 AM.

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