Age old question: is she getting enough

[@llli*beebs4ever]

I think my 15 week old is fine but nanny continues to push back and says she's really hungry - which I assume means crying or sucking immediately after feeding and during the day. Please keep in my mind my baby is a crier. I know this from my first 12 weeks with her at home. Thoughts? Here's the run down.

I leave 13 oz/day, which +/- 1 oz it's what I'm pumping over four sessions. I'm out of the house about 10 hours
Nanny is then taking this and feeding her 2- 5oz bottles, often missing that last 3 oz because the baby is sleeping and then I come gone. I've left her a generic schedule which mimics what I seem to out put - 4 oz, 4 oz, 3 oz, 2 oz - but she still is pushing these big bottles.
She generally has 5 wet/poopy diapers while I'm away and is smiley when I get home so I'm feeling confident it's enough and my daughter is just a bit of a tough customer who isn't the best sleeper and is pretty orally fixated already which means she's irritated when that bottle is taken away from her.

TIA

[@llli*mommal]

13 oz sounds a little low for a 10 hour separation. The general rule of thumb is 1.5 oz per hour of separation, which would be 15 oz. If you're having trouble getting that extra 2 oz, you may need to add a pump session... Or contemplate using some formula...

I'd talk to the nanny. What behavior is she seeing which is making her conclude the baby is hungry? What is she doing in response? Is she trying a paci? Is she using paced feeding, i.e. pausing the feeding after every oz or two in order to let the baby read her own satiation cues?

[@llli*djs.mom]

Mommal! NO. It's 1-1.5 oz for every hour a way. ! So the MOST she'd need to leave is 15oz and she says she is coming back often to 2-3oz LEFT. I think she is doing fine. And her DCP should NEVER give the baby 5oz bottles. Ideally if there is an OVERAGE at the end of the day let that milk ride into the next day and get used 1st and you may end up with some 15oz days. But I would NOT stress!

[@llli*mommy2lilah]

Mommal! NO. It's 1-1.5 oz for every hour a way. ! So the MOST she'd need to leave is 15oz and she says she is coming back often to 2-3oz LEFT. I think she is doing fine. And her DCP should NEVER give the baby 5oz bottles. Ideally if there is an OVERAGE at the end of the day let that milk ride into the next day and get used 1st and you may end up with some 15oz days. But I would NOT stress!

[@llli*zaynethepain]

Remind her she's your employee and should follow your instructions. Store the milk in two oz containers and keep only small 2-4 oz bottles in the house. Then she can see her behavior is the same no matter how much you stuff into her. Ds was a fussy infant too. No matter how I explained to people his temperament, it was always something I was doing wrong.

[@llli*beebs4ever]

Regarding giving the 5-6oz bottles, should this be avoided because it does not replicate the way should would feed from me? I did notice on Saturday that she was fussy at the breast mid-day and I'm thinking that could be because she's used to getting a bigger boost at that time.

I must admit I'm so darn tired of being questioned by my nanny - and at times my husband. Even this morning the nanny was saying how good DD was on Friday when she gave her two 6 oz bottles during the day. Yikes!! I know she means well but I think the predominant theory out there for nannies is to feed the baby, baby passes out, wakes up a few hours later and start routine again. Oh well, I will persevere!

[@llli*djs.mom]

YEAH NO. There are MANY reasons that it's not OK. Let's list them. The 1st is yes, that your child would NEVER get that much from you and your bottles left should Only mimic feedings at the breast. And by overfeeding your child she is essentially WASTING your milk. Because a bottle fed baby will almost always eat until a bottle is empty. But just because she drinks that much doesn't mean she NEEDS that much. And the the goal is NOT to get the baby to pass out and then repeat. Because causing her to do that throws off her ability to self regulate. Because she will start to look for that STUFFED feeling rather than be satisfied with the feeling of "not hungry." And your nannies job is to engage your child. Not feed her and watch her sleep. A LOT of nannies think that breastfed children are spoiled because they want to be held and cuddled and fed more often than formula fed babies. But that is how babies are NATURALLY. They are supposed to be held and interacted with almost constantly. Lots new mothers can barely put their children down the 1st few months. That is the way they are designed. So stuffing your baby is NOT the goal! And terms of wasting milk, think about it mathematically. On a 10 separation the amount you should be leaving is 10-15oz. 5 3oz bottles is the MOST she should need. If you started giving her just 2 extra oz a day that is 10 extra oz a week. That your child WILL DRINK but doesn't NEED. So it's 10oz your pumped labor just used for no reason. Except that your nanny sees food as the only way to get the baby to stop crying. Talk to her about walking with your baby, bouncing your baby and in general being OK with a baby that fusses. Extra food is NOT the answer.

[@llli*mommal]

Mommal! NO. It's 1-1.5 oz for every hour a way. ! So the MOST she'd need to leave is 15oz and she says she is coming back often to 2-3oz LEFT. I think she is doing fine. And her DCP should NEVER give the baby 5oz bottles. Ideally if there is an OVERAGE at the end of the day let that milk ride into the next day and get used 1st and you may end up with some 15oz days. But I would NOT stress!

Oops, my bad! Thanks for catching me.

[@llli*amysmom]

Think of it this way, how often does your baby nurse when she is with you? Probably every 2 - 3 hours. If she's giving 2 bottles, that means she's only feeding 2x in 10 hours where you would have nursed 3 - 4 times! Baby is probably getting very fussy and by the time the bottle comes, is exhausted.

I agree with the previous posters. Leave the bottles in 3oz amounts. Have her offer one, 1 hour after you leave. Let her take what she wants. If she finishes, fine. If she doesn't, fine. Put it back in the fridge. Then continue to offer every 3 hours from then, OR MORE OFTEN as she signals. Her request is ALWAYS respected. Frequent, smaller feedings mimics what you do for her.

Keep in mind that she's still very young. It's not just about food. It's also about warmth, contact, being held, feeling a breathing, speaking (vibrations), heartbeat beside them. They crave it!

Care givers need to mimic YOU. So tell her what you do through a day (write down a full day in case you're unsure, or get an app on your smartphone - you may surprise yourself at how often you nurse ). That is what she needs to do. If the nanny is being difficult about it (i.e. if she's cared for formula babes before and doesn't/won't understand), tell her this is not negotiable. If she won't, you need to find someone else.

Good luck Momma.