Re: baby cries all the time at the sitter and wont take bott
I am sorry you're having so much grief with your transition back to the workforce!
Who is telling you that you need to introduce formula? The sitter? Your mom? Either way, they need to stop. Your baby is growing well on breastmilk alone, and that means that there is no earthly reason why you need to use formula.
And you certainly don't need to use bottles at night or to let your child cry it out. That's ridiculous. You are the mommy, and you are in charge of how your child is fed and how your child is parented. It is the repsonsibility of your caregivers to follow your rules, not the other way round. If the sitter or your mom are telling you to change the way you parent YOUR baby in order to make their lives easier, then you can remind them that if they don't like how you care for YOUR baby, you can always find someone else to do the job.
It is absolutely 100% normal for a baby to require an adult to help her get to sleep. Especially when the baby is question is very young, like yours. Self-soothing is an advanced skill, and no-one should expect a 3 month old baby to have it. My 6 year-old can go to sleep on her own, but prefers not to. She still wants mommy or daddy to read her a book and give her a little back rub. And that's normal.
I think the way to address this is to calmly inform your caregivers that you will not be changing the way you feed or care for your baby after their shift is over. YOUR baby, YOUR rules!!!! And then give the sitter and your mom suggestions that may help them care for the baby, like wearing her in a sling (even for naps!) and trying different bottles, different nipples, and different milk temperatures to help baby get more interested in bottle-feeding.
I hate to even suggest this, but... Well, is there any chance of taking a more extended maternity leave? As you said, you waited so long for the baby and she is your everything. Maybe it's worth taking some more time off from work to enjoy these fleeting moments of infancy? Of course, I totally understand that being a SAHM is NOT possible for all moms or all families!
Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"