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Thread: new momma in need of support

  1. #1

    Default new momma in need of support

    My little one is 9 weeks old, and although I'm assured by our pediatrician, friends, and the BF community, I still worry about how much he's getting and whether or not I'm feeding him the "Right" way.
    He has a less than perfect latch (his tongue & lip ties were corrected, but we still have some problems- though I can hear and feel him transferring milk much more effectively) and often has green poop.
    I know that my letdown can be forceful, although it was decreasing but since he's sleeping more at night, it's come back. I tried block feeding, which FREAKED me out once I found out that it decreases your supply. Mostly, he nurses on one side at a time and falls asleep and/or won't want to take the second breast.
    Because of all I've read, I'm terrified of "foremilk/hindmilk imbalance," losing my supply, and allergies. I'm constantly anxious (to the point of getting meds) that I will be missing something that is going wrong with him.
    Here's what I want to know: Is green poop really that bad? Will the letdown ever finally calm down for good? How do I know if my supply is okay? How do I tell he's getting enough food?
    Please provide your best new momma tips and support.

  2. #2

    Default Re: new momma in need of support

    Oh- and how do you know that the baby is getting "hindmilk?"
    GAH! I just want to feed my baby without all of this worry!!!

  3. #3
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    Default Re: new momma in need of support

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*meatcat View Post
    Is green poop really that bad?

    Will the letdown ever finally calm down for good?

    How do I know if my supply is okay?

    How do I tell he's getting enough food?

    Please provide your best new momma tips and support.
    Nope. It's not a problem unless your baby is in discomfort.

    It probably will. Once your supply adjusts to baby sleeping more at night it will settle back down. Or once your baby starts waking more often (which is likely to happen at some point for some reason or another- teething, illness, growth spurts, meeting developmental milestones).

    If baby is giving you plenty of wet diapers (5-6 per day) you are giving him enough milk and he is getting enough food. BTW it can be totally normal for babies to only take one side at a feeding.

    Best new mama tip: TRUST YOUR BODY, TRUST YOUR BABY You can do this! You are already doing this. You're doing great. Nothing you've described seems abnormal in any way (except maybe the level of your anxiety ). And I don't say this to every mother, because it can be a very helpful tool, but I think you need to stop googling so much.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

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    Default Re: new momma in need of support

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*meatcat View Post
    Oh- and how do you know that the baby is getting "hindmilk?"
    GAH! I just want to feed my baby without all of this worry!!!
    There is no magic point at which your breast switches from foremilk to hindmilk. It's a gradual transition. And if green poops are your only indication that your baby might be getting more of one than the other, then it's not anything to worry about.

    And, speaking as the mom of a baby who has a ton of allergies- you can just put that worry right out of your mind. If your baby was allergic there would be other signs.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  5. #5
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    Default Re: new momma in need of support

    Excellent advice from the PP. Sometimes knowing more about breastfeeding- the poop colors! the latch! the foremilk/hindmilk thing! allergies! lactose!- just takes your focus off of the best measure of breastfeeding success: the baby. As long as your baby is growing normally and seems happy and healthy, all the other stuff is of little concern.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  6. #6
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    Default Re: new momma in need of support

    Since you have been reassured again and again, I wonder if there is something else going on. Anxiety issues as you mentoned? Or maybe someone in your life who has doubts about breastfeeding and is scaring you?

    Do you have a good reliable breastfeeding manual, such as the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (8th edition)? IMO that is much more likely to give you info that is not tinged with lots of misleading and out and out non-existent concerns, which are found all over the web.

  7. #7

    Default Re: new momma in need of support

    Thank you all for your replies.
    I think I've heard so many stories of "I tried and couldn't" from others that I'm scared. And the stories of "my milk dried up" freak me out, too.
    Anxiety has always been a huge part of my life, but I've always managed. I think the transition to motherhood has resurfaced a lot of anxiety and family issues.
    I was reading the Womanly Art, and I have great resources in my community. I'm trying very hard to trust that he is okay, that he's eating enough and getting what he needs, and that I am doing the best thing for him (no matter if he's having green poops).

  8. #8
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    Default Re: new momma in need of support

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*meatcat View Post
    Thank you all for your replies.
    I think I've heard so many stories of "I tried and couldn't" from others that I'm scared. And the stories of "my milk dried up" freak me out, too.
    Anxiety has always been a huge part of my life, but I've always managed. I think the transition to motherhood has resurfaced a lot of anxiety and family issues.
    I was reading the Womanly Art, and I have great resources in my community. I'm trying very hard to trust that he is okay, that he's eating enough and getting what he needs, and that I am doing the best thing for him (no matter if he's having green poops).
    oh, mama! i could have written your posts a year ago. it's a horrible feeling to be so anxious and to worry all the time if your baby is getting enough.

    i wouldn't worry about the green poop, if your pedi isn't worried. my lo had lots of green poop and it went away as he got older and my supply evened out. he also learned to cope with the fast let down/flow and the let down eased up a bit too....with time.

    the anxiety can be debilitating and it can really hinder your enjoyment of this special time with your baby. i am really glad that you have good resources in your community--use them! i also found it really helpful to educate myself about breastfeeding (which you are obviously doing) and then to do a LOT of self talk when the worries came (like, "he had 7 wet diapers today--it's okay;" "he's so active and alert and developing well, he's obviously getting enough;" "my body WILL make enough milk for him--it has and it will as long as i am responding to his hunger cues;" and so on). i was a little ocd about the diapers and drove my husband crazy asking "how wet is it" when he changed the diapers, but it helped me to be aware of the signs that he was doing well. the best self talk i gave myself was "he knows what he needs and is good at telling me when he wants to eat and i am good at responding to that" and then (as a pp said) trusting my baby and my body to do their thing.

    i have also started seeing a therapist about anxiety and the family of origin issues that i think have, as you say, resurfaced with motherhood. i don't like taking the time away from lo, but it has been HUGELY helpful.

    if those things don't work, it may be worthwhile talking to your doctor about anti-anxiety medications (i don't know if/what might be compatible with bfing, but it is worth looking into if you feel you aren't coping).

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    Default Re: new momma in need of support

    Many medications can be safely taken when nursing, if that is something you are interested in.

    There is no doubt new parenthood is very anxiety provoking! Actually, forget new. Parenthood is anxiety provoking! And it really brings up childhood stuff, wow.

    I enjoy hanging out with other moms and hearing many opinions about all kinds of things. I have learned all kinds of cool things that way. But I figured out early on that all the 'advice' was crazy making if I tried to follow it all or worried that, if it was different than what I was doing, that meant I was somehow doing it 'wrong."
    Instead, I have found, when I need to figure something out, I do best with consulting a few resources I know are trustworthy and following my heart. The hardest thing for me to learn is to give myself a break and be ok with the idea I am NOT, ever, going to do everything 'right.' No one does. Becoming a mother happens in an instant yet takes a lifetime to figure out.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: new momma in need of support

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*lllmeg View Post
    There is no doubt new parenthood is very anxiety provoking! Actually, forget new. Parenthood is anxiety provoking! And it really brings up childhood stuff, wow.
    The entire childbearing year- pregnancy, birth, life with a new baby- can stir up the psychological muck. I think a lot of women have issues in their life that they think the have handled or buried long ago that pop up again, maybe in a new form, during their transition into mommy-hood.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

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