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Thread: 11 mo old away from Mom all day

  1. #1
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    Default 11 mo old away from Mom all day

    I have been exclusively BFing my baby for 11 months now. I am a stay at home mommy! He also gets solids for breakfast, lunch and dinner along with my BFing. He will drink a little bit of water but doesn't really like it. He really prefers the breast. I have an event I have to do tomorrow from like 8:30 am till 8 PM. I'm freaking out cuz my husband is gonna watch him, but I just don't know how he's gonna make it without me! I am unsuccessful in the pumping department and I really don't wanna use formula since I have never had to before. I might get breaks here and there but, my husband thinks its time to wean our baby and he thinks its gonna be the perfect time to do it :'( Anyone have any suggestions on how my husband can keep our baby happy and satisfied while I'm busy tomorrow??? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!
    Last edited by @llli*melrose723; November 30th, 2012 at 09:59 AM.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: 11 mo old away from Mom all day

    Has he ever taken a bottle? Can your DH bring him to you to nurse? Can you skip the event?

    I imagine that your DH is going to have a different opinion about nursing after 12 hours of trying to comfort his son without mommy around. I think he would be ok for the day with eating solids and drinking water. Do you have any milk pumped? Also, you're going to need to pump while you're away from him, if your DH can't bring him to nurse. What kind of pump do you have?
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  3. #3
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    Default Re: 11 mo old away from Mom all day

    The first thing I have to say is that your husband's weaning plan is RIDICULOUS. First of all, 11 months is too young to wean. The recommendation from the American Academy of Pediatrics is for a baby to be nursed for a minimum of 1 year, or more if both mom and baby are willing, with increased duration of breastfeeding conferring significant benefits to both mom and baby. The World Health Organization recommends a 2 year minimum, with no upper limit. Second, a woman who has been nursing on demand for 11 months cannot wean in 1 day. Abrupt, cold-turkey weaning sets a mom up for difficulty with engorgement, plugged ducts, and possibly mastitis. And once you're back with your baby, what then? Less than 24 hours of not nursing isn't going to wean him. As soon as he sees you again, he's going to want to nurse!

    If you're going to wean in a mother-led rather than baby-led fashion, you need to go slow. Drop one feeding, wait a few days, then drop another feeding, wait a few days, etc. That will allow milk supply to decrease at a slow pace, reducing the likelihood of engorgement, etc.

    Will you get chances to nurse during the day? Baby will be okay with dad until he sees you again, and then he'll nurse. In the intervals between your visits, baby will eat solids and drink water. If you won't get breaks to be with baby, you may have better luck when you're pumping in place of a feeding instead of in addition to feeding.

    Things for dad to do while caring for baby:
    - Wear baby in a sling or carrier- closeness with daddy may substitute for some closeness with mommy.
    - Take baby outside or to a big box store if it's too cold to be outside. Distraction is going to be dad's friend!
    - Bring tons of snacks and new toys for baby to explore.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4
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    Default Re: 11 mo old away from Mom all day

    The only pump I have is manual. I think that's why I have a hard time getting anything out. I'm going to try and definitely nurse when I get breaks. And probably will have to try and pump when I can so I don't get engorged. He has taken a bottle before. It has been probably 4 months since he's had one.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: 11 mo old away from Mom all day

    Thanks for ur advice Mommal. :-) I know my husbands weaning plan is ridiculous!!! It makes me mad that he doesn't support me still nursing. That's why I'm nervous to leave him alone with the baby too cuz I don't want him to give him regular milk or something! Ugh!

    I will have a lunch break so I can definitely nurse him then. I probably also can pump on my 15 min breaks and then give the milk to my husband. I'm just never successful in getting more than an ounce out :-( I've noticed that my baby is usually fine till he sees me. Lol! Then he wants to immediately nurse! I'm even still having troubles with him sleeping through the night. He still wakes up like at 3 am and 6 am wanting to nurse.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: 11 mo old away from Mom all day

    Mama, only two night wakings for an 11 month old is AWESOME. Honestly, consider yourself lucky.

    It does suck that your DH is talking about weaning and his idea that your baby will wean in one day is so far from realistic it almost made me laugh. That said, I don't think it would be all that bad, if you don't have enough breastmilk or can't nurse on breaks, to give your 11 month old some cow's milk tomorrow. You're close enough to an age that he could safely have it. It isn't a sufficient replacement for breastmilk or formula just yet, but for one day it wouldn't hurt anything and might help keep him happy and fill in the gaps. Assuming he'll even drink it. My daughter never would.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  7. #7
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    Default Re: 11 mo old away from Mom all day

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*still.here View Post
    Mama, only two night wakings for an 11 month old is AWESOME. Honestly, consider yourself lucky.


    My 22 month old wakes up more than that! Last night she went to sleep at 8 pm and woke for the first time at 11:15 pm - and that was a really good first stretch of sleep for us. I'm looking forward to the day she sleeps 5 or 6 hours in a row. And then she woke up 4 or 6 more times before 5 am.

    Why does your husband think it's time to wean? That seems like a very frustrating situation to be in.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  8. #8
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    Default Re: 11 mo old away from Mom all day

    So each time ur babies get up in the middle of the night, do both u moms nurse?? My baby boy loves nursing so much! I still nurse him every 2-3 hours. So it's normal for my baby boy to not sleep through the night? Sorry this is my first child and after talking with my friends who have kids, they all say my baby should already be sleeping through the night :-(

  9. #9
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    Default Re: 11 mo old away from Mom all day

    Sorry Tracie, forgot to reply to ur last question. I don't know why my husband thinks its time to wean. He had a child in a previous marriage and that baby was formula bottle fed and so he didn't have to be in the situation of nursing so he knows nothing about it. It is so frustrating though how he tells me that its time I stop BFing :-( It breaks my heart and I wish he was more supportive!!

  10. #10
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    Default Re: 11 mo old away from Mom all day

    I used to nurse at night when my kids were that age. And yes, it's totally normal for babies that age and even older to be waking at night. Before 12 months, they typically wake because they are hungry and they need to be fed. That and their sleep cycles don't match adult sleep cycles- they naturally have more periods of lighter sleep. Formula fed babies tend to sleep longer at night because formula sits in the tummy longer and doesn't digest as easily. That full-tummy feeling keeps them in deeper sleep longer, which isn't actually all that good for them (especially when they are very young- this is one reason breastfed babies have a lower incidence of SIDS).

    And just as a bit of a warning, you are about to come up on one of the toughest periods of early toddler-hood...molars. If he hasn't already, your little man will be breaking molars soon and that tends to really disrupt sleep. Again, totally normal, but a total pain in the a s s. Nursing, for me, was what got me through those months. It hurts a lot when the teeth break through the gums and it takes forever for them to get all the way through, but nursing provides not only comfort, but actual hormones that help relieve the pain and relax your baby back to sleep. I generally suggest to moms who come in asking about weaning or night-time weaning that they wait at least until after those 2nd year molars break before they even try it. Because even if your baby is sleeping through the night now- they are going to start waking up when that happens and IMO the easiest way to get them (and you) back to sleep is to nurse them.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

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