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Thread: My 9 month old might hate nursing ..what can I do?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    17

    Default My 9 month old might hate nursing ..what can I do?

    I know babies don't self wean this early at 9 mo...and my baby still latches on but she fusses a LOT while nursing and I often need to calm her down before attempting to re-latch. I had oversupply and over-active letdown to start with so maybe she never developed that comfort at my breast? It's rare for her to comfort suck-she only nurses when very hungry. Also, when we get ready to nurse she often cries and arches away (when at home I try to stay topless and carry her in my carrier skin to skin etc to help). She also rarely looks at me while nursing She just stares up or straight ahead (when not BF, she is very active and interactive). Sometimes she reaches her hand up and pushes my face away. I try not to take it personally but I'm scared that I'm hurting my relationship with her if I'm always offering and it's making her upset. (PS-She eats about 4-6 times a day and is still getting a good amount of breastmilk and gaining...it's just a struggle and it looks like she is ambivalent or even dislikes it at times.)...any ideas of whether this is normal or if it might pass sometime when she's older? I'd love to breastfeed her for a few years and enjoy this "together" time...but I don't want to force her

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Central New York
    Posts
    127

    Default Re: My 9 month old might hate nursing ..what can I do?

    Hi Mama, welcome! First off, you have done a wonderful thing by nursing your daughter this long, so way to go! My DD is about the same age, and she is doing some of the same things. While she doesn't cry, she is very wiggly, doesn't really look at me lovingly (she is too busy looking around at all the other cool stuff in the room) and pushes on my face. I know what you mean about "not taking it personally" because all we want is our baby to just love nursing because we do! It could just be a personality thing, or she might just be trying something new and waiting to see your reaction.

    4-6 times a day seems a bit low. Could you try offering a little bit more so that you aren't so full? Minimum would be like 8 for babies our LOs age. Maybe she arches because of the OALD and she gets a TON of milk all at once because she's going so long between feedings. Even if she doesn't show a strong hunger cue, you could try offering sooner and see what happens. She may be upset in the beginning because she thinks that shes going to get a ton of milk, but if it's shorter between feedings you should have less build up of milk and hopefully a little less "WOOSH!" of milk

    I think most mamas would agree with me that babies rarely wean at 9 months. I think you have a great chance at continuing to BF! I hope others will chime in with some more suggestions Hang in there Mama!!!!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Newburyport, Ma
    Posts
    65

    Default Re: My 9 month old might hate nursing ..what can I do?

    My daughter is also about the same age and does all of the things you described. I nurse her 8 times a day or so, but she only really gets my milk to let down half of those times. She arches away, especially at night and it makes me sad that nursing only seems to be an enjoyable comfort to her in the morning. I would not take it personally though. I wonder if it is a case of taking nursing for granted. I often wonder what would happen if I didn't let her nurse at all (just as a thought experiment, I wouldn't actually try it!) and I bet she would miss it SO much and be SO upset. I find that my daughter nurses much better near a window and if I am standing up. Maybe this will work for your little one too. I had oversupply and OALD too, but that went away a long time ago, and I do think my daughter is frustrated because it doesn't come out fast enough anymore. Do you think that could be part of the problem? I frequently hand express for a minute if she is being fussy to try and encourage the milk to let down.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    17

    Default Re: My 9 month old might hate nursing ..what can I do?

    Thanks so much for your reply I feel like the amount of times we nurse is a bit low as well so I've been trying to hold off on too many solids and offer as much as possible but my daughter won't even attempt to latch unless she is truly hungry. And she doesn't do many night wakings...only occasionally once in the early morning and snoozing a bit more. I've considered dream feeds but she doesn't always nurse when I wake her to nurse and I hate waking her when she's sleeping soundly Oddly enough, I think she actually likes the overactive letdown now because in the evenings she is fussiest while breastfeeding and it might be because my breasts are less full. I think she has gotten used to the flow now but perhaps she never developed that comfort with nursing when she was a newborn bc she always struggled and choked while breastfeeding I'm really hoping that over time she might come to enjoy the cuddling together. Maybe we just need to get through this phase. I'm glad you think we have a great chance at continuing breastfeeding. I want to follow her lead... but I really don't want her to self wean any time soon! I'm fortunate that she still latches and eats even if she doesn't really look all that thrilled in the moment. I will keep offering frequently...because you never know, maybe she will want a quick snack and cuddle when I least expect it

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    17

    Default Re: My 9 month old might hate nursing ..what can I do?

    Also in reply to lizfairchild...sometimes I trigger my letdown as well when she's particularly fussy and it definitely helps! I need to try the window idea...haven't tried that one yet Standing up definitely helps as well especially in the evening when it's really hard to get through a nursing session! Thank you both for your replies to my post!

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