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Thread: Am I doing something wrong?? 2 week old only happy at breast

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    Austin, TX
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    464

    Default Re: Am I doing something wrong?? 2 week old only happy at br

    oh and as far as needing to "wake yourself up" after baby is done eating ... that is the beauty of side-lying night nursing - you can let yourself and baby just fall right back asleep! if you are worried about baby rolling out of bed (not likely as a newborn, but soon enough), you can put the mattress on the floor, push the bed up against the wall (stuff some blankets into the void though), or get a gaurdrail. i second the recommendation of not swaddling baby if you are cosleeping - in addition to baby potentially getting overheated (your body provides plenty of warmth), he needs his limbs free to give you a kick or a poke if he needs to wake you up if baby is really eating around the clock, just embracing shared sleep (even for a little while) can really be a lifesaver for you and your rest.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    May 2012
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    Ann Arbor MI
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    81

    Default Re: Am I doing something wrong?? 2 week old only happy at br

    I think this is a great post full of amazing information. One of women's biggest problems, is we invent problems. I know I did. I had to relax and feel blessed that our nursing relationship was going well, there would be real challenges soon enough. I agree wi everything said here! Nursing vacations saved me! Saved my nursing relationship with my daughter. I was exhausted and didn't know what to do. I got all my favorites, iPad, IPad charger, cell phone, books, snacks, water etc...and we nursed! I nursed like it was my job (it was hehe). We introduced co-sharing short after and my life changed forever! At this very moment I am side laying next to my 26 week old who is happily fed and sleeping. No longer comfort nursing, she usually eats, suckles for a few minutes then she sleeps. Unless she is uncomfortable, constipated (almost never) teething, or having a bad day, she rarely comfort nurses. I love Sharing a bed with her, I love her waking me up in the morning, we sleep until about 9 every morning, and she coos and babbles. It's something so special I feel like I would have missed out on had she been in a crib. I've also caught her spitting up in the night and coughing. Things I feel I needed to be there for. It really sounds like your doing an amazing job, pat yourself on the back! It's tough and your making the best of it! Great Job Mama! These ladies are amazing by the way, I could never say enough how great this forum has been for me!
    First time mommy

    I think I'm doing really well. Babies are amazing little creatures and every moment with her is a gift to me.

    I'm not political but don't mess with my baby or her meal!

    EBF <3 5 months old now
    Co-sharing sleep <3
    BLS when she gives us a thumbs up
    NIP, and she'll wean when she's ready

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
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    12

    Default Re: Am I doing something wrong?? 2 week old only happy at br

    ..I really cannot thank you ladies enough for all of your help. Everything has been very helpful... we went back to sharing the bed/side laying nursing and the rest has helped incredibly... I'm still kind of worried about some behaviors though...

    She exhibits hunger signs almost constantly. She falls asleep at the breast every time, and with repeated attempts to wake her eventually she detaches herself, but the moment we take her off and try to burp her she starts to stick out her tongue and root. We're going to weigh her again today... my breasts feel empty, not really firm ever... and sometimes right after a feeding she spits up and then still shows hunger signs...

    She has started cluster feeding at night and I go about 5 hours (with breaks of less than 25 minutes) just nursing her. It just doesn't FEEL like this is the way things should be but it's my first time so maybe I'm just wrong.

    I don't understand why she delatches herself and then immediately exhibits hunger signs. I worry that she's doing more wwork trying to eat than calories she's gaining from milk. She sometimes refuses my left breast, and sometimes refuses both... I think I have a slow flow but all the massage in the world doesn't help her fussing at the left breast.

    I'm looking into getting some fenugreek and I want to pump to stimulate milk flow but I don't have any time between feedings now!! It seems like the only time she gives me a substantial break is at night for a couple hours at a time when I'm catching up on my sleep. I swear I never feel like I know she'll be okay and not want to nurse in 20-30 min so I never feel like I have enough time to pump and reload.

    Am I really just crazy? She is 4 weeks old today and maybe these are just growing pains but I am so worried... especially when she won't take both breasts and we have to supplement... I feel like that is definitely a sign something is wrong.

  4. #14
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    Nov 2006
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    Default Re: Am I doing something wrong?? 2 week old only happy at br

    How many wet diapers does she have in a day? How often are you supplementing? Are you using expressed breast milk or formula? When you supplement do you pump at the same time?
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  5. #15
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    Nov 2012
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    Default Re: Am I doing something wrong?? 2 week old only happy at br

    She has at least 6 wet diapers every day. Now they aren't always sopping wet or completely saturated but she has changed the line color on her diaper. And she loves to pee while I'm changing her diaper. We only supplement at night. Normally after nursing when she still seems incredibly hungry. She has about 3 ounces sometimes she's had 5. These are times when I am so exhausted the only reason we're supplementing is so I can get a few more hours of sleep so no I'm not pumping then. That's the only time... we're about to now because she's been at the breast for an hour and just keeps falling asleep and then eventually delatching and then getting burped and then being hungry again so I want to feed her a bottle and see if that fills her cuz my boobs just aren't doing it. And yes in this case I will pump while supplementing since I am awake to do so.
    I feel like I have to defend the supplementing at night... we do side-laying nursing but as with any other time she nurses for about 30min, delatches, and then starts that (incredibly adorable) searching for my nipple which just wakes me up again so I never really sleep. And from what I've read sleep affects your supply greatly so I try to make sure I'm not desperately exhausted anymore.
    Last night we supplemented after she had been nursing for 3 hours, she ate about 3 oz and then when she woke again I nursed her, and then when she woke again I nursed her and she kept doing the nurse for about 30min, delatch and root thing so we supplemented again and she still seemed hungry after a 2 oz bottle so I nursed her again (I feel so guilty supplementing so I try to nurse as often as possible) and then she was pretty good for the morning until this afternoon she's been eating non stop.

  6. #16
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    Nov 2012
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    Default Re: Am I doing something wrong?? 2 week old only happy at br

    Just pumped and got next to nothing out. Maybe half an oz. Probably less. Oh this is terribly depressing I had hoped that if I weren't able to bf at least I could supplement with milk... is this why nothing is working? Could I have really dried up already??

  7. #17
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    Nov 2012
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    Default Re: Am I doing something wrong?? 2 week old only happy at br

    The longest I've ever gone without bf'ing was 6 hours max... did I do this to myself?? Is it my fault? Did itake away the best thing for my baby without even meaning to?? For someone who wanted to find a reason not to bf the idea of not being able to wrecks me. Its grown on me and become so important... I love being the comfort she needs and providing that for her... can I fix this or am I broken?

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
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    212

    Default Re: Am I doing something wrong?? 2 week old only happy at br

    You sound so worried and frustrated. Hang in there. Your baby is still tiny and even though it seems like it will never change, it will. Really it will. Can you rest/sleep during the day? Or go to bed earlier/wake up later? With my first I'd end up in bed for 14 hours or so in order to sleep for 6-ish.

    The thing is, nothing you're describing indicates low supply in any way. 6 diapers may be slightly low, but if she's also having some "out-of-diaper events" it is within range. Hunger cues are also "I want to nurse" cues. And if your LO is anything like my boys, she would prefer to nurse all the time. Which is exactly what she should be doing at 4 weeks.

    I don't think you need to defend anything. You are the parent. You (along with baby's dad) get to make the decision. The thing is, I think you're doing it based on faulty information. Just because your baby wants to keep nursing does not mean that she's not getting enough. Or that you can't make it. It may be a little slower than she wants, and that may make her mad, but if she's latching (or on and off) she is getting milk and telling your body to make more milk at the same time. WHen you interrupt that process with a bottle, it may seem easier in the moment, but it can set up more frustration in the long run.

    You are doing NOTHING WRONG. Low pump output means next-to-nothing. Some people respond to the pump better than others. Time of day, time of last nursing, stress, and many other factors affect my pump output (without really causing problems for my baby). **meaning, he can get milk, but the pump can't** You are not broken, and as I said, it doesn't even sound like there is anything to fix. Your 4 week old is acting like a 4 week old. You feel stressed and overwhelmed, because being a new mom can be stressful and overwhelming. Things WILL change, and before too long you'll look back and wonder how things were ever so tough.
    Last edited by @llli*lehall; November 27th, 2012 at 08:37 PM. Reason: clarity

  9. #19
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    Default Re: Am I doing something wrong?? 2 week old only happy at br

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommiewiggle View Post
    We only supplement at night. Normally after nursing when she still seems incredibly hungry. She has about 3 ounces sometimes she's had 5. These are times when I am so exhausted the only reason we're supplementing is so I can get a few more hours of sleep so no I'm not pumping then. That's the only time... we're about to now because she's been at the breast for an hour and just keeps falling asleep and then eventually delatching and then getting burped and then being hungry again so I want to feed her a bottle and see if that fills her cuz my boobs just aren't doing it. And yes in this case I will pump while supplementing since I am awake to do so.
    I feel like I have to defend the supplementing at night... we do side-laying nursing but as with any other time she nurses for about 30min, delatches, and then starts that (incredibly adorable) searching for my nipple which just wakes me up again so I never really sleep. And from what I've read sleep affects your supply greatly so I try to make sure I'm not desperately exhausted anymore.
    Last night we supplemented after she had been nursing for 3 hours, she ate about 3 oz and then when she woke again I nursed her, and then when she woke again I nursed her and she kept doing the nurse for about 30min, delatch and root thing so we supplemented again and she still seemed hungry after a 2 oz bottle so I nursed her again (I feel so guilty supplementing so I try to nurse as often as possible) and then she was pretty good for the morning until this afternoon she's been eating non stop.
    It's all supply and demand. Cluster feeding at night is your child working to get you to make more milk. In order to do that she has continually send the ques to your breast that they need to make more milk. So every time you supplement you are damaging your supply. Because it's a cue that your body is missing to make milk. And if you are supplementing with formula that is harder on their system and takes longer to digest so in those cases you are missing TWO cues. Every time she roots let her at your breasts. Your breasts are never empty. But the rate that they make milk at is being seriously affected at night by how much supplementing happens.
    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommiewiggle View Post
    The longest I've ever gone without bf'ing was 6 hours max... did I do this to myself?? Is it my fault? Did itake away the best thing for my baby without even meaning to?? For someone who wanted to find a reason not to bf the idea of not being able to wrecks me. Its grown on me and become so important... I love being the comfort she needs and providing that for her... can I fix this or am I broken?
    6 hours is WAY TOO LONG to go at this point and really EVER if you think you have supply issues. It's normal at this point to get 3-4hour breaks. Supplementing to sleep longer is not something that I would ever recommend to someone with a 4 week old unless they felt their supply AND weight gain were both sufficient. It is NORMAL for a baby this young to feed around the clock. It really is. Every time you block what your baby would be doing naturally you are putting up another obstacle. And again it's ALL supply and demand. So as long as you are making milk and are committed you can get your supply all the way back up. But that means letting the baby nurse around the clock and making sure that the baby is at the breast AT LEAST 10-12 times a day.
    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommiewiggle View Post
    ..

    She exhibits hunger signs almost constantly. She falls asleep at the breast every time, and with repeated attempts to wake her eventually she detaches herself, but the moment we take her off and try to burp her she starts to stick out her tongue and root. We're going to weigh her again today... my breasts feel empty, not really firm ever... and sometimes right after a feeding she spits up and then still shows hunger signs...

    She has started cluster feeding at night and I go about 5 hours (with breaks of less than 25 minutes) just nursing her. It just doesn't FEEL like this is the way things should be but it's my first time so maybe I'm just wrong.

    I don't understand why she delatches herself and then immediately exhibits hunger signs. I worry that she's doing more wwork trying to eat than calories she's gaining from milk. She sometimes refuses my left breast, and sometimes refuses both... I think I have a slow flow but all the massage in the world doesn't help her fussing at the left breast.
    I'm looking into getting some fenugreek and I want to pump to stimulate milk flow but I don't have any time between feedings now!! It seems like the only time she gives me a substantial break is at night for a couple hours at a time when I'm catching up on my sleep. I swear I never feel like I know she'll be okay and not want to nurse in 20-30 min so I never feel like I have enough time to pump and reload.

    Am I really just crazy? She is 4 weeks old today and maybe these are just growing pains but I am so worried... especially when she won't take both breasts and we have to supplement... I feel like that is definitely a sign something is wrong.
    Nothing here sounds out of the ordinary. This all sounds normal and healthy. When she delatches Flips breasts. And if you are nursing this much there should be ZERO issue losing the night time supplements. Low pump output means NOTHING in terms of what a baby is extracting. And really the only thing it should ever be gauged for is for how much food a working mother is able to provide her child in her absence when a baby does not have unlimited access to her mothers breasts.

    Way too lazy for formula

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
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    Default Re: Am I doing something wrong?? 2 week old only happy at br

    A few thoughts for coping with an always-nursing newborn:
    Sleep whenever you can. Get in bed at night and just stay there nursing/resting/sleeping until you feel halfway human. Even if that means you go to bed at 8pm and get up at 10:30am. Or take an afternoon nap. My kids have a sleepy period from about 1-4 and if I co-seep for that nap I can get 2 out of those 3 hours asleep.

    I'm assuming that you have a partner involved (I hope I'm right). If so, partner can help. Partner can bring you food, change diapers, and remind you that you are amazing, awesome, strong, capable, and doing an awesome thing for your baby. When my first was born, he would do marathon cluster feeds that would drive me nuts. Hours and hours of nursing. When I got to the end of my rope, I would tell my dear one that I needed a break. He would take the baby, change him, and then walk back and forth in the hallway singing christmas carols. sometimes baby would fuss, sometimes he would calm down. I would take the time to use the bathroom, have a quick snack, and take some deep breaths. 15 minutes later he would bring baby back to me and we would start up again. That 15 minutes helped me stay sane and gave the baby a very first introduction to the possibility that there could possibly be something comforting besides nursing.

    Most of all HANG IN THERE. You said that you feel like things will not change. I promise they will. This period is really intense but it is also really short. We're cheering for you.

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