Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 34

Thread: Am I doing something wrong?? 2 week old only happy at breast

  1. #21

    Default Re: Am I doing something wrong?? 2 week old only happy at br

    let me assure you-I am not trying to say you have done anything wrong. Some moms choose to formula feed or try to combo feed because they think it is easier. I disagree in general, and know this choice will typically hurt or end breastfeeding, but of course this is their choice. There is no wrong or right about it.

    But I have had too many moms call me or come to meetings 3 or 4 months down the road-or longer-who 'gave up' nursing in the early days because it was so hard. What they realize later was that it was new motherhood that was hard, not breastfeeding. So weeks or months later, when new motherhood begins to be more manageable and they have time to think about it, they regret that they stopped nursing and desperately want to nurse again. I have to tell you, these are heartbreaking calls. These are the meetings where there is not a dry eye. Because while re-lactation is possible, it is really hard. Not only must milk production be brought back, long after the ideal time for increasing production (the first 6 weeks) but also, baby must be brought back to the breast. There are no guarantees either will happen. And everyone recognizes-perhaps too late-that things may have been so different if the mom had only found the support she needed early on with the demands of new motherhood, help with breastfeeding problems if there were any, and been given accurate information about infant feeding and behavior so she could make an informed choice.

    I don’t really understand why you are supplementing, if it is needed due to poor weight gain, or what. But no matter why you are doing it, you could consider this- Supplementing and pumping (which yes, is generally needed if you are supplementing, no matter why you are supplementing) are not part of normal breastfeeding. Society has normalized something that is actually a medical intervention that has side effects. For mom, they may cause MORE exhaustion, interfere with normal breastfeeding progress, and undermine a mother's confidence. If supplements and pumping are needed, it really is important to understand what is normal and what you can to do to reduce the chances these interventions will undermine breastfeeding.

    A new baby needs pretty much constant comfort, it does not all have to be at the breast. Assuming a baby is gaining well and nursing at least about 10 times a day, no need to put baby to the breast or otherwise feed baby at every cue if you need to sleep. You can try having your husband or another helper walk baby around, take baby for a walk outside, or take baby for a drive while you sleep.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: Am I doing something wrong?? 2 week old only happy at br

    Ok so I'm all kinds of ready to quit supplementing I just get SO frazzled in the middle of the night when I try to feed her and she keeps fussing/crying so violently... its so heart breaking. Am I just supposed to let her be so angry and upset while she's bf'ing? Granted she does stay latched for a lot of it but eventually tonight she just started screaming and wouldn't even put the nipple in her mouth... she doesn't really act like that during the day, I can even get her to stop fussing completely when I sit up and feed her as opposed to side-laying but for some reason about this same time every night the breast just isn't good enough... 9 times out of 10 I've been trying to bf for at least half an hour before I even try giving her a bottle...
    As far as getting more sleep she eats for about an hour at a time, and at least every two hours, often after 1 1/2. Which leaves me about 30 min-60 min to sleep... which is INCREDIBLY hard and I end up sleeping for only about 15/20 min at a time... my husband isn't here most of the time and I don't really have the resources to have someone here to help take her when she needs entertaining and not the breast... the other thing is, even when she may just need some love and would be perfectly fine w/o the boob she still exhibits hunger signs and will eventually fuss/cry like she really is hungry so I just put her on the boob more often then not... I would be sleeping more during the day if I could I swear and some days are better than others and we manage perfectly fine but some days (well mostly nights) I just can't get her to calm down...

    I got some fenugreek in hopes boosting my supply would help my milk flow and plan on doing breast massage during the day tomorrow when she's not feeding which may help flow and we're doing skin - on skin chest laying right now in hopes that helps to stimulate something...

    On nights like tonight if I don't supplement how am I supposed to get her to calm down or not give up on the breast being so slow?
    Last edited by @llli*mommiewiggle; November 28th, 2012 at 05:28 AM.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,374

    Default Re: Am I doing something wrong?? 2 week old only happy at br

    If you keep at your breast consistently your supply will catch up with your demand. It's really that simple. Yes you will have a few rough nights. You will. It's takes your body 2-5 days to catch up. But if you keep her at the breast she will suck until she gets the milk. And you will learn to nap during the day. I didn't learn UNTIL my kid was 4 months old. So just because you haven't yet doesn't mean you won't.

    Way too lazy for formula

  4. #24
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    19,881

    Default Re: Am I doing something wrong?? 2 week old only happy at br

    Evening fussiness, sometimes so severe that it can be called colic, is really normal and common at this age. Both my kids were evening screamers from about 3 weeks to about 3 months. You could set the clock by them. For DD1 the screaming commenced at 7:00 and wound up at 9:00. For DD2, the screaming started at 8:00 and tapered off around 1 am. Fun times!

    The only thing that stopped the screamfest with DD1 was a bottle. We were bottle-feeding anyway due to some severe latch issues. Eventually we settled into a routine. At 7 pm, I would try to nurse. If DD1 didn't take the breast, my DH offered her a bottle while I pumped the next night's bottle. Eventually, around 3 months, she suddenly stopped needing the bottle and started simply nursing at that time of day.

    With DD2, nursing was going really well and we weren't using bottles. So when the evening screamathon started, I'd offer the breast, and if that didn't work I'd try one of the following:
    - Motion (stroller ride, swing, sling, rock, bounce on exercise ball)
    - Warm bath (this worked like magic!)
    - Trip outside

    Some other things that help:
    - Calm house (lights, tv, and stereo down or off)
    - White noise (static, vacuum cleaner noise, dryer sounds, etc.)
    - Swaddling
    - Holding baby close to bare skin


    I know this is REALLY hard but I swear that it's also temporary!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  5. #25

    Default Re: Am I doing something wrong?? 2 week old only happy at br

    Is nursing during the day generally OK, but it’s a real struggle at night? What, if anything, is different at night-the position, no lights on, too many lights on, how long it takes to get baby to the breast, anything? For example, With my oldest, we used to have a much harder time at night because we kept changing his diaper when he woke up, before nursing. It took us weeks to figure out that made baby more upset and an upset baby has a much harder time latching, especially when there are latch issues in general.

    Can you/have you seen a board certified lactation consultant (IBCLC)? I think it may help if you figure out whether or not you have low production, slow letdown, or baby has difficulty latching/extracting milk, or some combination. Just throwing herbs at the problem is not going to help anything if the problem is baby has a hard time latching, kwim? If any of these things are happening, they may need to be corrected for breastfeeding to normalize. A baby screaming inconsolably while on the breast every night is a bit unusual at a month old. A month old baby who is screaming and colicky at night is not unusual, but a baby who does every night due to not wanting to nurse, that strikes me as odd. It suggests to me baby cannot nurse, or cannot nurse well, or is getting so upset he is completely unorganized. Why is this happening worse at night? That does not point to low milk supply, imo. A month old baby needing to nurse for an hour every nursing session also indicates something is not right. Supplementing only treats the symptoms, and in that case may be helpful, but it will not typically solve the underlying problem and may cause new problems.

    If your husband is not around enough, and you cannot hire a post partum doula or even a mothers helper, I strongly urge you to try to get a friend or family member to come help out at least part of the time, to take caer of you so you can concentrate on this. We are not designed to do these early weeks all on our own.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: Am I doing something wrong?? 2 week old only happy at br

    Going to see a LC tomorrow. Speaking with her on the phone lead us to the same idea that my milk flow is too slow and I'm not replenishing milk as I should and baby just isn't getting enough...

    I'm thinking it may be hormones and stress... my lochia lasted for a really long time... it's been w/I the last week that I was able to stop wearing protection and I had some kind of issue w/ a mammory gland in my armpit I had to take medicine for before the baby was born. The gland was rock hard, painful and enlarged.... I'm pretty sure they were antibiotics the doctor put me on but I don't remember very well... going to try to set up an appt for Fri with my dr and see if everything is ok.

    Could I have dried up to this extent from supplementing one bottle? There were never times she had more than two bottles for a day, and we spend SO much time in the bedroom trying to nurse! Hours upon hours most days, just me trying to nurse her with less than half hour breaks when she'd start to show hunger signs again. Literally 287 min during a session w/ 232 min of actual nursing. I've been working so hard with her! I know it may seem like I'm lazy and just wanat an easy way out when I supplement for her but I'm starting to think it's really been totally necessary to make sure she's eating because I just don't feel reassured by her nursing behavior that she's getting food....

    My mom is coming to help Fri... I've spent all day today trying to nurse and we've both been naked for skin-on-skin. I'm just destroying my bed and letting myself leak everywhere (well, when I do leak which is very rare) hoping that the milk removal will help stimulate something... she's now been nursing on and off for two hours... luckily she's not fussing or refusing so I'm just switching from breast to breast when she delatches.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,374

    Default Re: Am I doing something wrong?? 2 week old only happy at br

    You don't gauge how much your baby gets by watching the clock. You do it by counting diapers and looking at her weight gain. How many diapers in a 24hour period are you getting? How is her weight gain??

    Way too lazy for formula

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    12

    Thumbs down Re: Am I doing something wrong?? 2 week old only happy at br

    She has at LEAST 4 - 6 wet diapers and USUALLY 4-6 dirty diapers (sometimes the diapers are one in the same)
    This has changed w/I the last couple days... she seems to be having way less dirty (only 2 MAYBE 3 yesterday) and not many wet, but still having at least 4.

    She used to have about 8 wet and 6 dirty a couple weeks ago when I started this thread.

    The issue with "staying at the breast consistently" is that she has started crying to the point I can't get her to latch anymore. Not just at night as I thought was the case, I also can't get her to take either one during the day sometimes.

    Today we had a couple times she refused from the very begining but then there were sometimes where she still gave it a shot for a while before she started throwing a fit. I kept her at the breast as much as possible but she would eventually pull off due to crying/fussing. There was one time I was able to go back and forth until she gave up completely on the left and fell asleep for good on the right. And then the next time we tried to feed it was an immediate problem.

    If I could keep her consistent on the breast to fix this I would but she's turning away from it now and I don't want to starve my baby. She nurses for half an hour and still devours 3 oz of formula...

    When speaking with the lactation consultant on the phone she agreed that it seems like I have a slow flow and a low supply. It really just got bad w/I the last few days... before I felt it was manageable and my supply would continue to grow as long as I let her nurse as long as she wanted but that didn't help... how can 5 hours on and off not increase my supply if that's supposed to be all it takes???? Again, its not like I was feeding her bottles all the time after feeding her for an hour... I was going as long as she wanted until she was okay, but she's recently stopped getting okay and instead started throwing fits.

    I'm thinking I have some kind of medical issue I'm going to have to talk to a dr about and maybe that will help... the LC thought it may be an issue that I've only recently stopped having lochia... and even today has some. I also had an issue with a mammory gland in my underarm before baby was ever born that had to be treated with antibiotics... but that was on what I consider "my good side". Ugh I really just don't know anymore.

    Finding out her weight gain in a few hours. It seemed fine at her 2 week appointment.

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,374

    Default Re: Am I doing something wrong?? 2 week old only happy at br

    A fussy baby Does NOT equal STARVING! EVERY TIME you use formula you further damage your supply. You went from an occasional bottle at night to adding bottles in during the day? And you are confused by why you are not making more? Because you are breastfeeding LESS. Every rime you supplement you damage your supply further. Every cue your body is missing is further damaging your supply. And the more often you offer bottles the more likely your child is to reject your breast entirely because as you make less you are offering your child an easier way to get food. Bottles take less work than your breast even when your supply is abundant.
    You seriously had NOTHING wrong. Babies at the breast all day are NORMAL. Babies fussing is normal. Babies fussing because someone introduced the bottle too soon is also normal and FIXABLE but you HAVE to be willing to do the work. You HAVE to be willing to feed ALL. DAY. LONG. AND deal with fussiness after your introduce a bottle. You are self inducing low supply! You need to spend all day in bed tomorrow with the baby skin to skin and NOT offer bottles. Let her nurse ALL.DAY and ALL NIGHT. Not for 5 hours. Not until she cries. ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT.
    Eat Oatmeal for Breakfast and drink plenty of water.

    Way too lazy for formula

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: Am I doing something wrong?? 2 week old only happy at br

    PLEASE explain to me how I'm supposed to nurse her if she won't take my breast, because THAT'S what the problem is now, not JUST my low supply.

    Having seen the lactation consultant today she told me that I should limit my nursing sessions to 30 min each breast, and if she's not satisfied after that offer her a bottle of what I have pumped and pump again. She told me I'm not ruining my supply as long as I try to nurse first and pump after bottle feedings. She also expressed that baby is probably going through a growth spurt and is not getting the adequate nutrition she needs if she's still sucking down 3 oz of formula after an hour of feeding, and also that it shouldn't take over an hour for feedings as it normally does.
    She also says that babies have a tendency to sleep more and be less active if they aren't being fed well and she sleeps almost all the time, with very few wake periods. And the LC kept noticing how warm she felt (I noticed it last night too and was ready to rush to the ER but husband made me wait) and said that maybe because she seems to be coming down wittth something is why she's not taking the breast anymore.
    Found out she has a high palate which is why it's been so hard getting her to latch properly, but we were able to today.

    I laid with her skin on skin ALL DAY yesterday, completely bare breasted. I've been eating oatmeal and taking frenugreek. I AM determined to fix this, and I think you have the wrong idea regarding how my time is spent. I only leap to the bottle now when she absolutely refused the breast because she WON'T nurse when she IS hungry. 8 have spent hours upon hours bf'ing and that DID NOT increase my supply. I used to be able to pump something substantial, around 4 oz and then it dropped dramatically and we're still trying to build it up. The feeding for hours didn't start until aafter my supply dropped and it still hasn't recovered. I may not be communicating our story well enough but you make it seem like this is all my fault when I haven't been doing anything differently since the hospital until 2 days ago when I started giving her more bottles when she refused to nurse. I may have pumped less in the last couple weeks in an effort to get more sleep but that's absolutely all I have done differently. which I'm going back to at the advice of my LC.

    Please keep in mind that you are not here to observe her behavior or what our bf'ing sessions look like. I really am working hard at this and not looking for reasons to give her a bottle, I only do it when I feel it is absolutely necessary. Even the LC told me to supplement!

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •